babyboat
07-09-13, 21:33
I'm 26 years old and I've been agoraphobic since I was 14. I'm pretty much completely housebound - at times I can walk into my yard but rarely and nothing beyond that. I often have panic attacks in my house as well and I feel like I've made my bedroom my ultimate safe space, as I feel extremely uncomfortable roaming around if anyone else is home. I've lived in the same house I have always lived in, but I need to move across the country in just a few months to be with my boyfriend. I try exposure therapy as often as possible but I don't get much further than my yard. When I reach a certain point it feels like there's some type of invisible force holding me back. I cannot get my feet to carry me any further. My knees start shaking, my derealization starts intensifying, I sweat profusely, both my vision and hearing intensify to the point the everything is almost echoing and everything looks blurry. It feels like I'm about to faint any second - though I never have. But these physical sensations are incredibly intense. I've mastered CBT to the point where I've taught and have helped cure anxiety sufferers, yet my anxiety is still extremely high. I've never met anyone else who has such intense, long-lasting panic attacks (mine can last anywhere up to 7-10 hours, relentlessly) nor anyone who had so many limitations. I have met other agoraphobics, but usually even they can travel a couple miles away from home with a safe person or at least have freedom in their house.
How am I supposed to move across the country in this condition? How can I take the steps I need to take to get there? I feel like this will ultimately be an amazingly good thing for me as it will provide an instant change of scenery and will completely eliminate all the safe places I've created for myself. Just getting there seems so challenging.
I'm currently taking anywhere from 2-6 mg of Klonopin every day, which has helped (pre-Klonopin, I was panicking so intensely that I went through a period of never being able to be alone and my derealization was constant), I've tried SSRI medications (probably 4 or 5 of them - they've all caused manic episodes). I'm also wondering which airline is best for those with disabilities? I just want this to go as smoothly as possible.
If it matters at all, I've also been diagnosed with bi polar II, PTSD and depression. Though the agoraphobia is what's really holding me back in this situation.
If anyone has moved at all while being super agoraphobic, please share your story with me! The points leading up the move, the actual traveling and settling into your new environment. Any tips would be so appreciated.
Sorry if you've seen this, I am cross-posting to a few other anxiety message boards, I'm trying to get as many opinions as possible.
How am I supposed to move across the country in this condition? How can I take the steps I need to take to get there? I feel like this will ultimately be an amazingly good thing for me as it will provide an instant change of scenery and will completely eliminate all the safe places I've created for myself. Just getting there seems so challenging.
I'm currently taking anywhere from 2-6 mg of Klonopin every day, which has helped (pre-Klonopin, I was panicking so intensely that I went through a period of never being able to be alone and my derealization was constant), I've tried SSRI medications (probably 4 or 5 of them - they've all caused manic episodes). I'm also wondering which airline is best for those with disabilities? I just want this to go as smoothly as possible.
If it matters at all, I've also been diagnosed with bi polar II, PTSD and depression. Though the agoraphobia is what's really holding me back in this situation.
If anyone has moved at all while being super agoraphobic, please share your story with me! The points leading up the move, the actual traveling and settling into your new environment. Any tips would be so appreciated.
Sorry if you've seen this, I am cross-posting to a few other anxiety message boards, I'm trying to get as many opinions as possible.