Why us????

[panicperson]

Hi All,
I thought i would start a thread on "why us".
What is it that started our health anxiety? Was we born this way? Is it because or a previous experience?
It would be nice (for me anyway,) to know this.

Ill start :
I believe that I have always been a subconscious worrier. I worried about my parents dying from a young age.
I experienced death when my 7 yr old friend died (I was about 10.)
I personally found the biggest trigger for my now, horrendous HA, was a health scare of my own. Sep 2012: I was told a mole in my eye was potentially cancerous. I was lucky that following tests I was assured all was fine. But this is what made me the worrier I now am! .....melanoma, lymphoma, DVT, heart attack,liver disease, arthritis, kidney cancer, mouth cancer,throat cancer........ I have worried about all these in 12months.
Currently a big lump/hard area under my armpit and a smaller one behind my ear.

I am having CBT but sadly I'm not feeling as good as I thought!


Thanks

[Pipkin]

Good idea for a thread. If it was in the general anxiety forum, people other than health anxiety sufferers might join in. Let me know if you would like it to be moved.

And to answer your question, I suffer from general anxiety with panic and I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I don't think there was a particular cause although there have been triggers throughout my life which have made it worse. It's a bit of a roller coaster for me and I can't see when the dips are coming. On the positive side, I like to think it's made me a caring and considerate person.

Pip

[skippy66]

I think it's various reasons. Some will develop HA because of a real illness/health scare. eg the person who had cancer who now constantly worries it will return. Others will have had HA-prone parents, others general worriers, others have seen a relative die from a horrible illness and now relate it to themselves.

The key to beating it is the same regardless of the cause - accepting that you will die one day like everyone else (this was a tough one for me), and asking yourself whether you'd rather spend whatever time you have left wallowing and worrying, or living life to the full in spite of everything.

Watch this video about Nick Vujicic - I guarantee you will be feeling better after watching it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE


HA can be beaten, it is not a terminal condition. You have a choice.

[panicperson]

Thanks Skippy that's a hard one for me to. I personally feel my worry is dying young and missing my children grow up. Just the thought makes me cry.
I'm scared of finding out I'm ill at a stage where nothing can be done too!

Very good point re parents. My mum (although denies this) is not very risk averse when it comes to GP and her health. She is there a lot!

I do believe we can over come it but the mind is a powerful tool and its a hell of a lot easier said than done x

[almamatters]

I think I am naturally a worrier and an anxious person. I used to be a anxious as a child and just gradually got worse as I got older. It was no surprise to me to be diagnosed with GAD and HA but I always hoped that I would 'grow' out of it . I do agree that difficult life experiences can make a person develop these conditions but in my case I think it is possibly in my genes.

[panicperson]

Yeah I think it's in my genes. Thanks for sharing!
I think it gets worse with age :-/ although I'm 28 so god help me if I live until my 80's x

[illgetthere]

Well from a young child I always thought deep into things that probably I shouldn't have, I've always been quite layed back as I've got older as I've had my children most things go over my head until I was 29 I had a pretty rough year my dad was in intensive care that was a bad 1 then my mum had a mini stroke we was going abroad and I'm terrified of flying do that's what I think happend in November the happy payed back Vicky hit a brick wall and suffered a big panic attack from no where I rang an ambulance terrified I was dieing I had no clue what happend to me it was down hill from there really 2011-2012-2013 they have all been bad even thou I've come on leaps and bounds from 2012 I'd still do anything to be the old Vicky but I think health anxiety strips you bare and leaves you out for the scavengers at the moment I'm grieving after loosing my father in may good days bad days all the thoughts are the same everyday just different way of dealing with them I guess all I no is the odd few on here that say there cured god must of helped them because my mind does not stop worrying about cancer alday everyday and how does that stop? I don't think I will ever no 😪but my journey will continue I have no choice in that!!
God bless
Vicky x

[panicperson]

That made me tearful :-( sorry for loosing your father.
I share the same question as you.

I'm trying hard not to cry this evening as I have found a large lump in my armpit (been there a while but now feels bigger!)
I am already convinced I have lymphoma and that has added to my fears.

To be 'normal' again :-(

[illgetthere]

Sad isn't it really how can someone love life yet feel so bad about it? The problem is for me is depression is in my genes that's 100% my father was manic depressive my sister has bipolar my brother has bipolar psychophrenia my other sister border line bipolar. How was I going to escape it ? Don't no but I felt like I had my sister says where did my sister I go? I always think I don't no I'd like her back to my problem is my children sounds bad dont it its not thou my problem is I have to no I'm going to be there till I'm an old lady and there picking my care home because I have to no I will always be there got them watch them grow up be happy have children I want to no all this but I can't no it can I there are no guarantees and this is what my problem is I dont have a very supportive partner at all my sister is my biggest support along with my mom but even those get tired of me sorry rambling for your lump have you been to the doctors ? My sons nodes have been up in his neck for 14 years I've started worrying about his now took him to the doctors Wednesday she said there ok don't worry mmmmmmm if only she lived in my head for an hour x

[Eyji1]

When I was a kid I remember laying in bed more then one night crying over the fact that one day I would die. I thought of death as a perpetual darkness and it frightened me.
I've been very aware of death from as long as I remember. When I was 7 or 8 years old one of my best friends got cancer in the brain. He lived but I remember visiting him in the hospital and seeing how weak he was. When I was around 10 years old my uncle died of some cancer that was too close to the spinal column to operate on. He was a big strong man like me but his last year was spent in a wheelchair... Then when I was 16 my grandfather died of cancer as well... I've always been a loner. As far as I remember I've had low self esteem. I kept to myself just playing the computer for most of my childhood and teens and everything unexpected caused me great grief. I've always had a big problem with uncertainty.
I started drinking alcohol early. At around 14. At 18 I started smoking a LOT of pot which kept me calm and free from worry for the next 8 months. Then I started experimenting with methamphetamine and psychedelic mushrooms. Eventually I broke down and went sober... Now around 4 years later I'm still stressed out all the time and uncertainty bothers me still... But instead of drinking, doping, relying on tobacco or manically exercising to the point of exhaustion I'm working on my problems.

I really don't know why I am the way I am. Some people would like to blame narcotics.. But I've always been nervous and jumpy.
My mom says that some people are just born into this world this way and that it's just something they have to accept and work with. I'm starting to agree with her.

Best of luck to you all.

[panicperson]

I've found my match with u then. I am the same re children and family. My husband tries to be supportive but just doesn't get it. Not his fault!
I cry because I love my family so much and don't want to leave them, buy on the other hand I feel I may as well be dead as I'm not living!
I feel I had some anxiety but generally thing I have PTS disorder.

Is bipolar have any similar characteristic as HA or GAD?

[illgetthere]

Its an horrendous feeling really is I worry so much over my children and leaving them I think everybody needs a mom my little boy is 1 next week and all through this year I've thought and worried I won't see his 1st birthday I've crude over it then my little girl soon to be 6 I worry that I won't get to see her teens and be there for her through those tough years I so desperately want to anxiety and almost destroyed my relationship I've been with my partner 15 years and this has baught it to my knees I tell you 'anxiety' such a small word but a major impact since my dad died may I have a thing about time and what can happen in a year its horrible I hate it everything we do revolves around time even illnesses its all time based i feel Cbt isn't enough for me I really do I feel my problems are deep rooted I need s miricle ��I want to enjoy my children and cherish there memory's instead I got this shit. Bipolar is a disorder that affects your moods you can have a serious low that can stay for weeks or be the complete opposite and be on a total high and not care about anyone or anything or the two can be combined in s short space of time. What does yours stand for? Xx

[panicperson]

My children the same age.
Do you take any medication? I feel same re CBT, but that worries me because after the sessions ill think "there's no hope for me."
PTSD is post traumatic stree disorder. I think I had anxious tendencies but I think my eye problem last year set it off big time.

---------- Post added at 07:04 ---------- Previous post was at 04:05 ----------

Eyji thanks for your post. Glad your not on drigs and drink anymore. That would have most likely contributed to your anxieties in the future.

[illgetthere]

I have 2 other children 14 and 12 there lovely growing up nice, I don't take any medication I have it in my shelf but always been scared to go down that route scared of the side affects so I've struggled along at the height of it end of 2011 I wanted to sign myself away I was very close to it till I found out I was pregnant then I had to pull myself together and try and hold it all for my unborn child I had a good pregnancy thought if anything happens they will take care of me then when I had him It was all down hill again I payed private for counciling he was good but couldn't afford to continue with it so I was sad but I'm having Cbt but I don't think it's good its nothing what I don't already no and what was wrong with your eye did it turn out ok? I think it does take a scare to start something off and once it starts I think its real hard to get over x

[*Fallen Angel*]

I've always been a slightly anxious person and tend to look on the negative side of things. However what kicked my anxiety off regarding health was having a miscarriage before my daughter and then nearly losing her at 2 years old to pneumonia. I remember the Dr in A & E telling me I was an over anxious mum and it was viral. Well if I'd have listened to him she would be dead as about 3 hours after he said that she was blue lighted to Alder Hey on a life support machine. This is why I struggle to believe anyone in the medical profession around my/my daughter's health.

[panicperson]

My eye is under yearly monitoring. Basically I have a mole in it and they thought it was sinister. I have been to a specialist who said it was ok, but as I can't see it I require yearly checks.
With regards to to my arm lump. The GP said it felt ok and was prob worse having messed. Drained today!! Emotionally! I actually got to work and had a cry then felt ok!!