All time low today

[hadenough]

Well I didnt think things could get any worse but they have. I woke up this morning in a deep depression, so much so that it frightened me. Then as usual the anxiety kicked in as well so for the last 2 hours I have been pacing up and down the garden.

I just dont feel like Ive got any control at all and I cant cope with it. Everything is just running away with me and I feel like Im on a rollercoaster that I cant get off of.

My HA is literally ruling my life now, every waking moment is spent thinking about my health, constantly going over and over things.

I have an appointment with my gp tomorrow and am going to talk to her about the Mirtazapine. Ive racked my brains trying to remember if the really bad symptoms started after I was prescribed it and I think they did but cant be sure.

This is no life :weep:

[Elen]

honey tbh I don't think the Mirt is to blame.

Try looking over some of your previous threads, I think you will see that they started before the Mirt.

Hope your day gets better.

Elen

[xvolatileheart]

Sounds like we're having the same kind of day. Woke up feeling soooooo deeply depressed, then the anxiety has been hitting hard. It's not even like I have a specific symptom to focus on right now, I just feel mentally lost and overwhelmed and like my body wants to shut down. I can't focus on anything, I feel like I've lost all control.

I really hope the GP can offer you some help. I've been prescribed citalopram but haven't started it yet as I'm worried about the side effects. How long have you been on mirtazapine?

[hadenough]

Elen -Never thought to look back over my previous posts, just goes to prove brain is not working at the moment. Ive had a look and, although I posted in Jan 2012, I think the most recent set of posts started on 17th August and I started the Mirt on 14th. Youre probably right, Im just looking for something to blame for whats going on. Will see what the gp says tomorrow and will follow any adivce she gives me. xx

xvolatileheart - Im so sorry youre going through the same thing as me, awful isnt it. Have been on Mirtazapine just under 3 weeks. Elen is probably right and it isnt that, just feeling so stressed that Im desperately looking for anything that could be making things worse. Hope you feel better soon xx

[Jacsta]

Right. Rather than pace up and down the garden go and have a shower....then get dressed, walk to the shop, buy yourself a nice treat, come home and if you still feel poor have a dvd afternoon on the sofa...and stop beating yourself up!

Thing will get better. Don't let the illness beat you, you are not alone, we are here to support you.

[hadenough]

ji jac, Have picked mum up and waiting for lunch to be ready. Cant pace now as mum will wonder whats going on. Just feel completely hyped up with nervous energy, struggling to sit still.

I know I keep going on about it but the thing thats constantly on my mind is my weight. I cant get it out of my head. It has definitely become a total obssession. I have been forcing myself to eat for nearly 2 weeks now and am not putting any back on, in fact may have lost more, too scared to weigh myself. Why oh why am I like this, why cant I just let it go.

I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, this is the most scared I have been in my life.

I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply xx

[Jacsta]

Well you are going back to the docs tomorrow. And to be honest, the more you stress the less you'll put weight on as stress can also cause weight loss so its just feeling the cycle.

Try and have a nice Sunday afternoon with your mum. Keep telling yourself that you are fine, try not to worry.

[hadenough]

Thanks jac, Thats what my daughter and a friend keeps telling me 'that this high level of stress will cause weight loss', I just wish I could be sure that thats true then maybe I could get at least that worry out of my head.

[maggielea]

:)hi all that nervous energy has to go somewhere and from what I can tell its coming out in your body what relaxation technics are you trying ?or distraction technics ?

---------- Post added at 14:43 ---------- Previous post was at 14:36 ----------

hi have you been tested for thyroid I have myself been hypo in the past 3 months and I lost lots of weight wasn't able to eat and everything on a go fast heart rate high and trembling all the time wasn't able to stop it had blood tests it turned out borderline underactive opposite to the symptoms I have been experiencing but im a very anxiety led person so if im feeling low I go into over drive, im learning to slow down and take every day as it comes and awaiting more blood tests to see if my thyroid has changed good look and hope your feeling better soon.
maggie:hugs:

[hadenough]

yes had a full set of blood tests done in april/may which included thyroid function, they were all ok.