View Full Version : anxiety about visiting people in hospital
Does any one else get anxious about visiting people in hospital or have any tips on how to cope with it? I have been doing so well with my anxiety but today have felt quite anxious, tummy is a bit upset...usual signs of anxiety. The only thing I can think of that may have triggered it is that I said I would visit someone in hospital tomorrow. I hate hospitals and always get anxious in them. I have said I can only visit for half hour. I have to drive myself there and back and then get to the ward myself. It is all the anticipatory anxiety again :(
Iced_diamond
08-09-13, 18:03
Hi Annie, I am exactly the same. I have always hated hospitals and visiting people who are staying there. I even struggled to go an see my nan when she was in hospital for many months and it was hard, because I really wanted to see her, but in the end only went once, because of this dislike towards them. I am just naturally an anxious person (I can also be quite irrational at times and go a bit over the top,which I will happily admit) and I think Hospitals bring out unpleasant feelings in us as we associate them with negativity. I guess we need to remember that people are in hospitals to make them get better and in a way they may be seen as a safe place. My fear is more based around the "germ phobia", but I made sure (after visiting my nan) that I didn't touch too much and washed my hands well when I got home-I was fine. But, yes, I do sympathise and understand your feelings, as I am the same. :)
Thank you for your reply Iced Diamond. The germ phobia isn't an issue for me but yes you are right about associating them with negativity. I know for me hospitals have been the last place I have seen some close relatives and I think it brings those memories back as well as the trauma's from when I have been in for operations for myself :(
almamatters
08-09-13, 18:40
I really struggle with this Annie, I soon as I get to the car park, I feel anxious , dizzy and breathless, once in the hospital the smell, lights, all the corridors just make me feel even worse. I had to attend a few months ago to see a relative and had a panic attack trying to park my car as it was so busy , by the time I got into the hospital I was literally a nervous wreak! I am not concerned by germs but more what a hospital represents to me ( illness ) I suppose trying to see them in a more positive light , like a place that makes people well would be a better way of looking at it, for me anyway. Good luck for tomorrow Annie x
Thank you Alma. Visiting is 2:30 so I am going to have most of the day to worry about it :( I will let you know how it goes. x
AuntieMoosie
08-09-13, 22:46
I'm exactly the same Annie.
I hate hospitals. My anxiety starts to rise as soon as I'm on the road that leads to our local hospital :wacko:
I give huge blood pressure readings every time I'm there! But my blood pressure is absolutely fine, it's just the anxiety doing it.
If you're anything like me though, anticipatory anxiety is always far worse than when I'm actually doing the task.
To try and cope with it, I do loads of distraction work really. I just look around me, look at the people, watch the staff moving around, reading things, looking at the pictures on the wall, just anything I can do really.
I always do cope with it in the end and I've never gone on to have a full blown panic attack when there :)
I think you'll be fine hun, I shall be thinking of you, let us know how you got on please. :hugs: :hugs:
Thank you Auntie Moosie, I am feeling sick just thinking about it :( Will let you know when I get back tomorrow.
I used to be exactly the same. When I was younger, I visited a friend in hospital who was recovering from an operation. I had a panic attack and ended up in a hospital bed myself - so embarrassing!
Since then, I've generally learnt to deal with it though I still hate the smell.
Pip
Pipkin when my husband was in a couple of years ago I fainted and ended up in bed in a cubicle opposite him! What are we like?
Annie,
I'm like that most places I go! It's a horrible feeling I've forgotten what it's like to be relaxed and go places.
I think when we have to go to places were uncomfortable with it sets our anxiety and thoughts of big style(which does us no favours) and it's the anticipation of it all that makes us like this,after we're there awhile it all goes(well sometimes not as bad)
Good luck Annie, you've done so well 2 hols! Staying with friends wow. I'm a nervous wreck with continuously thoughts Sat here at the mo
Thank you Clio and I hope things start to get better for you soon. :hugs:
Morning Annie
How are you today?
Will be thinking of you visiting your friend today. You are really strong and will be fine:)
I have passed out a couple of times in hospital, only cause I got myself all worked up! Got a nice cuppa and a biscuit though:)
Luv & hugs
Jackie xx
Thank you Jackie, I am not quite so anxious about it today. I have been telling myself that if it gets too much for me then I don't have to stay. Just a quick visit is better than none :). I have my Bach rescue remedy in my bag just in case. I haven't used it for ages so that is a good sign. I should hopefully be back home by 4 at the latest.
---------- Post added at 15:26 ---------- Previous post was at 11:47 ----------
I got there early and was allowed in to visit. The person I was visiting is an elderly gentleman who I have only known for about 6 weeks. A friend of mine told me that she knew someone who was looking for someone to keep his dad's house clean so I said I would do it. I have been going every week and in some ways have been more of a carer than a cleaner. He is in very poor health and I have noticed his health deteriorate in the time I have been going there.
He was taken into hospital last Friday. he is struggling to breathe (he has COPD) but I noticed it is the critical coronary care ward that he is on. He has had scans today and from what he described to me I think he has had an MRI scan.
I have just got back home and feel so sad and drained. I am enjoying working at his home and helping him but I think my new little job is going to come to an end :( I don't think he will be strong enough to live at home on his own. I get attached to people easily and feel like I have known him much longer than I have and really hate to see him suffering like this.
I took him some cakes and he ate one straight away which made me smile.
My hubby is away this week and I am on my own and feeling really tearful right now :(
Or Annie :bighug1:
Well done for getting there! It's hard work when you've got anxiety, it's not nice seeing people so poorly you minds starts with the thoughts
Have a cry get it out of your system that's what my partner tells me.
I pushed myself out shopping today, was really making myself look at things .
And when I got home had this emotional feeling come over me like I just wanted to cry. Keep getting this lately, must find a new hobby for when I'm relaxed enough.
Take care x
Clio I think when we have pushed our selves to do something and we manage to do it, it does make you feel a bit drained and emotional. Well done for getting to the shops.
My neighbour has been over to see me and I have calmed myself down a bit. Might get my knitting out or make some cards to keep me busy tonight. x
almamatters
09-09-13, 19:08
Glad you are ok Annie and well done for getting to the hospital. xx
AuntieMoosie
09-09-13, 23:37
Aww Annie how kind of you to visit the poor chap hun, I'm sure he was sooo pleased and happy to see you and, of course, eat the lovely cake too :D
Well done you..........you done it again :yesyes:
Yep!! get crafting hun, that always helps me so much :)
Pecker up now and huggles :hugs: :bighug1: :hugs: :bighug1: :hugs:
Thank you Auntie Moosie...I really needed those hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx
Hi Annie, well done on getting through the visit, hope you are feeling brighter this morning xx:bighug1:
I am feeling better again this morning thank you Kim. I had got used to going to my little job as well so missing that. :hugs:
bernie1977
10-09-13, 17:01
Well done for making the visit, it sounds like you made his day by visiting.
Ive said it before but have to say it again you have done totally amazing on your road to recovery and I love to read about all you have achieved. Well done Anne, there's hope for me yet! :hugs:
Thank you Bernie and yes there is always hope and I hope you achieve the things you want to do soon :hugs:
Sooo kind Annie, poor man I hate seeing elderly people like that. I'm like you too, when it comes to hospitals I always think when I'm the patient they will always tell me the worse. Bleeping machines , temepature reading etc - since I became a GAD sufferer I absolutly despise hospitals. Funny thing is I'm now 30 pregnant soo, going to have a real tough time of it come the labour. I bet the staff are going to get sooo annoyed with me, I'm going to be a major control freak & on edge, I've been dreading that part of my pregnancy ever since I found out I was expecting when I was only 6 weeks gone.
I have a friend who suffers with panic attacks but doesn't mind being in hospital because she says for her , she feel safe. My dislike is association with bad news and negativity. I associate hospitals with illness/death as opposed to getting better?
Soo glad you went though Annie , you've done fabulous things recently & a true inspiration XXX
Thank you Col. Yes I think I associate them more will illness andealth when really I should try to think of them more as a place to get well. I had a few bad experiences in hospital when I fractured my foot and I had a really bad panic attack and fainted then I was physically sick with the pain. It has made me more anxious about hospitals but I coped well on Monday and just tried to think how much he needed visitors. You have to think that a hospital is the best place to have a baby with the best care for you both and of cause it is a very happy time. :) x
I am going to the hospital again tonight to see him again. His son just phoned to tell me his dad has aggressive lung cancer and is too ill for treatment. he will be moved to a hospice soon. I am really upset t the news. :weep:
MRS STRESS ED
13-09-13, 16:40
my dad got took in hospital this morning poor thing, he has lived there for last two years on and off ,and yep I hate going it sets my anxiety off lol ive had no choice tho :weep:
my dad got took in hospital this morning poor thing, he has lived there for last two years on and off ,and yep I hate going it sets my anxiety off lol ive had no choice tho :weep:
I am sorry to hear that :( Yes sometimes we just have to do it even though it makes us more anxious :( Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
MRS STRESS ED
13-09-13, 17:01
Annie thankyou sooooo much it means a lot :hugs:
My elderly friend passed away on Saturday and it is funeral this afternoon so I am getting ready to go to it. I am anxious about it but feel like it is the last thing I can do for him. I saw him last Thursday and he took hold of my hand and said "I just want to die now, I don't want to live any more" It broke my heart but he got his wish. I am pleased in a way because he won't have to suffer any more pain
Rennie1989
27-09-13, 13:19
What part of going to the hospital makes you particulary anxious? You mention the symptoms you are experiencing, are you worried they'll get worse?
I think it is that I don't like to see people in pain. I also worry that I am not going to know what to say; the silly thing is though I have never really had that problem. Some of it is just painful memories. I have coped though these last couple of weeks with my visits.
Rennie1989
27-09-13, 20:24
Sorry to hear about the memories. Unfortunately hospitals are not often one for positive memories, unless it's good news from a doctor or a birth.
In terms of the other patients, remember that they are in the right place. I admit that even as a student nurse I didn't like seeing my patients in pain but it's more often short term pain. Just remember that they won't be there long and soon be back home and well.
I know what you mean about not knowing what to say. Even when my parents were in hospital on seperate occasions I was often lost for words, because questions like 'How are feeling?' just seem silly. Talk to your friend about mundane things, the weather, the news, what they're interested in. Once the conversation gets going you won't feel so nervous and you'll be fine, time will fly!
For me, it's good old germ phobia when it comes to hospital visiting. I'm ok about what to say, I just feel guilty for feeling like I need to escape the whole time I am sitting there. Then when I do get out the relief is enormous. I had to take my partner to A&E earlier in the year & kept having to remind myself I was there for her & that she felt worse than I did. That was the only way I could bear being there.
Hopefully there will be no more hospital visits for me for a while now.
Annie, I'm so sorry to hear that your friend passed away. You can be very proud of yourself, you enriched his last few weeks of life, and reached out to him through care & concern, despite your own anxieties & fears.
Regarding hospitals, I am just the opposite - it's funny how the same locations can have such different effects on us all - if I'm taken in, not well, I relax the minute I get there, the same if I'm taking someone I care about. I have to go for numerous outpatient appointments for myself and my Mum, and I never feel negative about going.. sometimes worried about results and if I have to undergo a nasty examination/procedure, but always I feel quite reassured and relaxed about being in a hospital.
Thank you Daisy Sue. I am pleased that you are able to relax when visiting hospital...one day maybe I will be able to :)
When I was younger, I always believed that hospital was a safe place. In fact, I used to dream of getting hurt so that I could be there and get looked after. Of course as I grew up, I knew that hospital isn't a place to dream of being in! When I was in my teens, my mother had a big operation. Visiting her was pretty scary I have to say. Even then though I still believed that people who went into hospital always came out fine. It would be a relief sometimes just to have childlike beliefs again. These would be far preferable rather than the fears I have about hospitals.
But it doesn't stop me visiting people if I have to. Even though it makes me feel scared, I would never let someone down. Not if they needed company. I can't imagine how scary it must be to be in hospital so that's why I would always want to visit friends or family who are there.
Daisy Sue, it's really good that you are comfortable in hospital and that it gives you reassurance if your friends or family are there. It is the right place for sick people to be when they need help, that's for sure. Perhaps I need to remind myself of that & try to focus on the bigger picture, rather than just my fear.
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