Eyji1
08-09-13, 22:38
Hay all. I just feel a need to post about this here.
So I've been feeling great for the past two weeks. Hardly any worries, I've been able to keep all the irrational thoughts in check and everything is going fine. Until today that is.
So I woke up at around 9 in the morning which is pretty early for me on a sunday. I drove my girlfriend to work and then had some breakfast. Then I just sat down at the computer and time slowly drifted away form me. At around 3-ish I had a banana and a big glass of water. It's not a lot of food for a big guy like me but I wasn't feeling hungry so I just thought "whatever". At four my girlfriend came back home. By then I was just laying in bed trying to meditate a little.
It ended up with us sleeping together which was great by the way. But when we were done we were just laying there and my father happened to knock on the door. I was so startled by the knock (I didn't know it was him by the way) that I jumped out of bed and put my underwear on the wrong way. That's how much of a hurry I was in.
Well, my dad needed some help so I walked with him over to the next street and then I noticed that my heart was beating at twice it's normal speed. My legs were really weak and my mouth felt dry and I had a bitter metallic taste in my senses.
I realized that this was most likely just stress from my extreme reaction because of the knock earlier but I felt really weak and tired so I had to stop to let it get a little better when I was half way there and it's only like a 200 meter walk.
When I got there and started helping my dad out all I could concentrate on was how fast my heart was beating, how weak it felt and the damn taste in my mouth. I had to sit down a for a short while just to let it subside for a moment before I carried on helping him.
Anyway. I ended up walking back home and my heartrate and that damn taste came back again and grew as I walked. I decided just to be on the safe side I'd go to the hospital and talked to a very nice and helpful doctor even though I was quite calm about all of this I just needed some peace of mind.
The doctor assured me that this was nothing serious as my pulse was even and nice and my blood pressure was good he said. I really had to stop myself from not looking at the blood pressure monitor's screen, but I managed to not to think too much about it.
I told the doctor that the weird sensations only came when I was on the move and I was worried that I had strained my heart or something silly like that.
He told me to walk around briskly for a minute or two and then come back so he could feel my pulse. And sure enough, I was fine... No taste, no raised pulse, no dry mouth...
At this point I was quite agitated and confused because of myself and I just thanked the man and walked out and went home to eat dinner.
To summarize the situation I'm quite pleased with myself in how I managed not to go into full blown panic over the "heart attack" I was having and that I managed to keep myself cool and rational.
On the other hand I'm also quite disappointed that I had to go to the doc to get some reassurance. But hay... I'm doing much better then I was two months ago... The worst thing though is that lingering chatter in my head as I can feel almost every beat of my heart "What if something's wrong? What if you don't wake up tomorrow?"
And what about it??? Dying is a completely natural process. Every person that has ever been has died and what of it? The very nature of our existence. That we have a finite time to do what we feel we were meant to do is the very thing that gives humans the drive to thrive and do good things. Infinity would be boring... So enjoy life to the fullest. I'm going to go read up on buddhism now, my heart beating quite a lot faster then usual and my diaphragm all tensed up. Then I'm going to sleep as I have work tomorrow.
Have a good one all, and thank you for reading if you made it this far. :yesyes:
So I've been feeling great for the past two weeks. Hardly any worries, I've been able to keep all the irrational thoughts in check and everything is going fine. Until today that is.
So I woke up at around 9 in the morning which is pretty early for me on a sunday. I drove my girlfriend to work and then had some breakfast. Then I just sat down at the computer and time slowly drifted away form me. At around 3-ish I had a banana and a big glass of water. It's not a lot of food for a big guy like me but I wasn't feeling hungry so I just thought "whatever". At four my girlfriend came back home. By then I was just laying in bed trying to meditate a little.
It ended up with us sleeping together which was great by the way. But when we were done we were just laying there and my father happened to knock on the door. I was so startled by the knock (I didn't know it was him by the way) that I jumped out of bed and put my underwear on the wrong way. That's how much of a hurry I was in.
Well, my dad needed some help so I walked with him over to the next street and then I noticed that my heart was beating at twice it's normal speed. My legs were really weak and my mouth felt dry and I had a bitter metallic taste in my senses.
I realized that this was most likely just stress from my extreme reaction because of the knock earlier but I felt really weak and tired so I had to stop to let it get a little better when I was half way there and it's only like a 200 meter walk.
When I got there and started helping my dad out all I could concentrate on was how fast my heart was beating, how weak it felt and the damn taste in my mouth. I had to sit down a for a short while just to let it subside for a moment before I carried on helping him.
Anyway. I ended up walking back home and my heartrate and that damn taste came back again and grew as I walked. I decided just to be on the safe side I'd go to the hospital and talked to a very nice and helpful doctor even though I was quite calm about all of this I just needed some peace of mind.
The doctor assured me that this was nothing serious as my pulse was even and nice and my blood pressure was good he said. I really had to stop myself from not looking at the blood pressure monitor's screen, but I managed to not to think too much about it.
I told the doctor that the weird sensations only came when I was on the move and I was worried that I had strained my heart or something silly like that.
He told me to walk around briskly for a minute or two and then come back so he could feel my pulse. And sure enough, I was fine... No taste, no raised pulse, no dry mouth...
At this point I was quite agitated and confused because of myself and I just thanked the man and walked out and went home to eat dinner.
To summarize the situation I'm quite pleased with myself in how I managed not to go into full blown panic over the "heart attack" I was having and that I managed to keep myself cool and rational.
On the other hand I'm also quite disappointed that I had to go to the doc to get some reassurance. But hay... I'm doing much better then I was two months ago... The worst thing though is that lingering chatter in my head as I can feel almost every beat of my heart "What if something's wrong? What if you don't wake up tomorrow?"
And what about it??? Dying is a completely natural process. Every person that has ever been has died and what of it? The very nature of our existence. That we have a finite time to do what we feel we were meant to do is the very thing that gives humans the drive to thrive and do good things. Infinity would be boring... So enjoy life to the fullest. I'm going to go read up on buddhism now, my heart beating quite a lot faster then usual and my diaphragm all tensed up. Then I'm going to sleep as I have work tomorrow.
Have a good one all, and thank you for reading if you made it this far. :yesyes: