how often do you check?

[strawberrie]

hi, since i have started my cbt my therapist has told me that i need to go against my natural urges to check my body. I didnt really feel that i was checking that much, but since ive started thinking about it ive realised that im checking all the time.

OK, i dont do an 'official' check but i guess i am doing sneaky checking that i didnt even think about before - e.g. whenever i get changed, or go to the loo, or have a shower, or even think about how my body is feeling, i am checking that everything looks normal which i guess is something that most 'normal' people dont do.

If i get any twinge my automatic reaction is to feel the area to see what is wrong (in the back of my mind i guess i am expecting to find a lump or something). I'm realising now that this is all just sneaky checking behaviour [:I].

It's also made me realise how difficult it is going to be to stop this - i feel like its a bit of an addiction, i think to myself 'i'll just look this one last time, and then i won't do it again'. I'm going to try really hard to stop this, as now im thinking this is the key to taking my focus away from my health.

I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same? Are you checking all the time, but not really admitting it to yourself?

mag

[carly123]

Hiya

I think all health anxiety sufferers do this. I do it constantly. My partner says to me 'everyone gets twinges all the time' but I can't remember getting them before I worried so much but I guess thats cos I wasn't worried about it!

Yes it is a very difficult habit to break, you start thinking 'yeah but if I'm not checking what if I miss something?' but thats the whole point - you need to break that way of thinking. Not something I've been having much success with I'm afraid, but I do understand.

Take care and good luck.

[darkangel]

constantly - thats why its important to build in distraction techniques otherwise you end up checking 24/7

take care
darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

[**whenwillthisend**]

yep-i check pretty much constantly too-my partner thinks im crazy....if im not checking my pulse im checking my boobs for lumps-or anywhere!its such a vicious circle we get ourselves into-and to be honest i dont know how im gonna stop this checking-its consuming my mind to the point im exhausted mentally by all this thinking and checking-start with a new therapist tomorrow im hoping she helps me!
take carex

[piglits pal]

All the time. It is very much an addiction and my CBT therapist has told me to stop it. It's hard though - when you get out the shower and just glance in the mirror you're always thinking, "oh no, what's that?"

[Nat1]

Ahhhhhhhhhh, the evil of checking, I now exactly how you all feel! (No joke intended!)

I used to check all the time, now like alot of us I do cheeky ones.

I realised I had to stop when I was doing a manly check down below, due to aches and pains. Some of these were caused by my constant checking! [:I]

On this particular check I found a lump and rushed straight to the doctors. The lump was the size of a pin head, but the doctor gave me blood tests and sent me for a scan anyway. The fear was immense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the scan showed it to be a tiny cyst, infact the chap doing the scan couldn't see it clearly on the scanner, I had to point it out with my finger. From that day I try not to check! The times I have, my heart has raced and the adrenalin has run.

It can be a viscious circle!

[strawberrie]

thanks everyone, its nice to know i'm not the only sneaky checker.

I think i'm going to try and go a whole day without checking anything, and build it up day by day. Even one day seems pretty daunting at the moment :([:I][Sigh...] Does anyone want to join me??? We could set up our own 'checker's anonymous' group lol [^].

I WILL NOT CHECK ANYTHING TOMORROW. There, i've said it now, so i have to do it :D

mag

[lass]

I've not really thought about this until now, but yes, I admit it, I'm a checker too! As well as checking my body, I also have to check what comes out of it (won't go into details here!). Sometimes I go to the loo in the dark so I can't keep worrying myself!

I will join you on a "check-free" day tomorrow :D

[strawberrie]

yep, i check ummmm......toilet stuff too [:I] i'm sure normal people don't do that, or maybe they do??? In fact, most of my checks are pretty embarassing, so much that i don't really feel able to tell my therapist about them [:I][:I][:I]

cool, now ive got a 'no-check' buddy for tomorrow ;)! Anyone else want to join us?

mag

[Hexia]

I used to check all the time too, mainly my pulse. My CBT-therapist told me to stop it, so I did (more or less, I admit). But whenever I get agitated, excited or something and feel my pulse going up, I rest my cheek and throat on my hand and check my pulse that way. (Guess that puts me in the "sneaky-checker-group" as well).
The only thing the checking does is make the problem worse, but man is it a hard habit to break.

"You can't yell loud enough to make me shut up."

[Nat1]

In terms of the toilet checking, you are being very European. I believe that in Germany (I tink) they actually poop on a shelve that is in the loo to inspect their........ well you know! Then they flush it.

A bit off track, but at least we are not the only ones.

[kt]

Hi Mag,
I check too!!
If someone (kindly?) tells me i look ill/ tired/ pale or flushed, i rush, heart racing, straight to the mirror and start studying my face! These are mainly my work colleagues who are slowly getting the point that when they walk into my office i immediately say, "if you're gonna tell me that i look anything other than busy don't bother!!"
My poor husband is only ever allowed to say that i look lovely otherwise he gets the whooosh of my anxiety across his backside!! He has learnt the hard way!!
I secretly check everything from head bumps right down to swollen ankles, and of course all the other places on the way.
Armpits are my thing at the moment, i often have to ask my friends to let me feel theirs! Seriously!! Fortunately they know what i'm like and kindly oblige. I compare every lump, bump and mark to anything similar they may have.
I too am obsessed with this. But i'm sure i'm not as bad as i was because i have resisted some of the urges by agreeing with myself that i will check later, by which time i have usually forgotton what it is i'm checking for!!
I used to totally feed my fears- i now try to make them wait for their food! By doing this i have slowly began to get some control over them, this in turn is reducing my panic attacks and anxiety.
Good luck Mag, i understand and know how really hard it is!
You'll get there flower,
hugs, kt xxxxx:D

Fear makes the wolf look bigger!!

[piglits pal]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">

I WILL NOT CHECK ANYTHING TOMORROW. There, i've said it now, so i have to do it :D

</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I will not check anything either

[strawberrie]

great, another checker anonymous. i resisted the urge this morning (although a little voice in my head said "just check this morning and then not for the rest of the day"), but i managed to resist. ive got a busy day so hopefully the rest of the day wont be too bad.

thanks for the messages guys. kt, my husband often says the wrong thing too, thats men for you!

good luck everyone whos trying not to check today!

mag
xxx

[anxious]

Bit too late for me to join in today[:I] I'll try for the rest of today though. I'm glad you started this thread mag. I admit to everything else listed apart from checking my pulse. Does anyone else get the urge to check things on their partners?? Sometimes i only have to look at something and i'm off on one. My therapist is going to have his work cut out with me!!

anx x

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

[MissChampers]

Yes I check the lot lol. At the moment i'm paranoid about liver disease so i'm always checking the whites of my eyes to see if there's a yellow tinge and any bruises on my body as this could also be a sign of liver disease. I've got a blood pressure monitor and I check that every day but luckily i've always had low BP so it doesn't worry me too much.

I'm wondring if my mother could have triggered my health anxiety as she was always convinced there was something wrong with her throughout my childhood and maybe it's rubbed off onto me.

[lass]

So how's the "not checking" going today? I was very good today - in and out the shower in no time, no checking for lumps, got dressed quickly and I've been out all day. In fact, I've had a really nice day and I'm feeling quite calm (for a change).

But I must confess to a quick peek down the loo when I've been - I did it without realising it! I guess some habits are hard to break ....

I promise to try harder tomorrow!

[janie]

Hi all

Yep for me its the palms of my hands at the moment. The reason for this is that when I went to the cardiologist for full works he asked to see my palms. He didn't tell me what he is looking for so I don't know what I'm looking for but I check anyway!!! Daft isn't it.

Also check pulse more often that i should and it is always fine. I also look in the mirror and check colour of my face - nice and rosy - thats good.............. or is it high blood pressure????? Blood pressure has always been good - on the low side if anything.

Not going to check anymore coz I don't know what I'm looking for anyway. I run a plumbing business (admin only) so what would I know!

Love to all


Janie xxxx

[lory]

hi there

i check constantly i have a pain in my finger im dieing my heart rate is at 60 im dieing its horrible to live with and i dont know how to get out of it i have just had a new born so they think its post natal but i have had it longer than that maybe when is started looking up my symtoms on the computer naughty girl
lor xxx

[leanne1980]

hiya

im always checking to, usually my throat and my boobs ohh and my legs lol
im obsessed
leanne x

i just wanna feel normal

[strawberrie]

hi, how did it go? did you manage to not check for the day? i'm glad to say i managed. Morning was the worst - it was like my first little test of the day, after that it wasnt too bad - in fact it was easier than i thought.

So much so, that im going to have another 'no-check' day today. It will be more of a test for me today as i am taking the kids swimming which always brings up a lot of anxiety stuff - not only do i have to get changed when im all wet and in a cramped changing room, but just seeing other people's hair on the floor is enough to bring me out in a cold sweat lol. God forbid anyone in the swimming pool has any kind of blemish on their body - im convinced it will jump out and contaminate me!!! [:I] Other people's yukky stuff [xx(]

hee hee thank god i wont have to contend with the shelf in the toilet nat was talking about - it would be a health anxiety nightmare! [:O]

So anyway, yesterday wasnt as bad as i thought - i found that if i ignored the initial urge, it went away pretty quick. I hope it was ok for everyone else - who wants to try today too, you never know, we might even be able to make it to a week!

mag

[MissChampers]

I've only checked my face today to see if I look like a wreck as I feel so tired.

[**whenwillthisend**]

well i have resisted the urge to do full boob examinations the last few days-im still terrified of finding lumps though, and i find even though im not checking i m still thinking about it!.....my aim is once a month-long way off that i think.........i feel like a wreck today too-so worn out..........all this thinking!