scared of my mind

[vincent]

Over the past few months I've been having a lot of dreams and waking visions of myself and other people dying. A few are rather prevalent and seem so real at the time that I start to have a panic attack or find my entire body constricting like something's trying to escape from inside me through my back and legs. This has also coincided with an increase in me cutting as this seems to the be the only way to ease this inner tension and fear. I've tried running it off and punching the walls, my self and just crawling into bed to try and sleep but I just can't get this thing out of me and I know the facade I put up to my family and work colleagues is going to start to crack soon. Just can't see a way out at the moment, apart from the most permanent which isn't really an option for me.

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Vincent it sounds like you need to calm yourself down. You are running on nervous energy- running scared? A good relaxation cd would be a good starting point. With the morbid thoughts they are just that thoughts and they can't harm you. They could be an indicator of depression which a GP should be able to diagnose? Are you taking any meds at the moment? Isolating yourself from your family will make the self harm thoughts If you can distract yourself that should help to ease the urge to sh. If you can it might be an idea to tell someone how you are feeling? Making a GP appointment would be a good starting point. EJ

[vincent]

Hi EJ, yeah my GP has diagnosed me with social anxiety disorder and clinical depression and i've been taking fluoxetine for some time but all that does is make me tired and not in a nice sleep well kind of way. I've had depression and anxiety for the last 15 years or so but just recently it seems to be escalating and my normal coping mechanisms aren't working. My GP doesn't have any appointments for 2 weeks or more and they just tell me to go to A&E if I need help but the thing is I work there and there's a certain person there who I can bear to see me like this.

[ElizabethJane]

H Vincent, it sounds as if you could do with a doctors appointment before then? Do you have a walk in centre maybe you could get an appointment with them to avoid going to A and E? I don't think I could present at A and E if I worked there but then again you won't need to? I am not taking fluoxetine so don't know if that could be causing the tiredness? It could be causing the morbid thoughts and self harm thoughts. Some surgeries have nurse triage (ours does) so maybe you could get an appointment that way? EJ