NE21 worrier
09-09-13, 22:04
Hello everyone,
Anxiety is a horrible little thing, isn't it? Every now and then I feel as if I've got it cracked (posted in the Success Thread recently), and then I get knocked down again by a bad start to the week :sad:
As I left the house today, the muscles around my chest and stomach seemed to have a vice-like grip and I felt choked up as I left the house. I live with my parents still and just wanted a big hug off my mum like I was a kid on his first day at school.
I didn't do that, although my mum is very supportive of me, but sent a text message of concern to my mum at work:
Hate to say but it seems to be work-related - I'm generally more relaxed on a weekend morning (unless I have matchday anxiety). It seems strange but I feel as if I still have a fundamental lack of self-belief that I can do this job, or at least do it to the required standard in terms of call times.
This lack of belief is despite plenty of evidence to the contrary and the fact that, by first break as even today in fact, I am usually settled back down. It's weird that it is as if all the evidence counts for nowt, similar to when I was learning to drive - I still had a lack of self-belief on test day; it was a wonder I ever did pass.
The oddest thing now is, having passed my driving test, I'm fine. I wonder if that self-belief will ever arrive on the morning of a workday. I'm generally fine when I'm here...
This lack of self-belief in something which I must know I am capable of doing (the evidence suggests so) is totally baffling for me. Makes most weekday mornings difficult until I actually walk in the same doors and see the same scene... Just cannot work it out :lac:
Thanks for reading,
Peter
Anxiety is a horrible little thing, isn't it? Every now and then I feel as if I've got it cracked (posted in the Success Thread recently), and then I get knocked down again by a bad start to the week :sad:
As I left the house today, the muscles around my chest and stomach seemed to have a vice-like grip and I felt choked up as I left the house. I live with my parents still and just wanted a big hug off my mum like I was a kid on his first day at school.
I didn't do that, although my mum is very supportive of me, but sent a text message of concern to my mum at work:
Hate to say but it seems to be work-related - I'm generally more relaxed on a weekend morning (unless I have matchday anxiety). It seems strange but I feel as if I still have a fundamental lack of self-belief that I can do this job, or at least do it to the required standard in terms of call times.
This lack of belief is despite plenty of evidence to the contrary and the fact that, by first break as even today in fact, I am usually settled back down. It's weird that it is as if all the evidence counts for nowt, similar to when I was learning to drive - I still had a lack of self-belief on test day; it was a wonder I ever did pass.
The oddest thing now is, having passed my driving test, I'm fine. I wonder if that self-belief will ever arrive on the morning of a workday. I'm generally fine when I'm here...
This lack of self-belief in something which I must know I am capable of doing (the evidence suggests so) is totally baffling for me. Makes most weekday mornings difficult until I actually walk in the same doors and see the same scene... Just cannot work it out :lac:
Thanks for reading,
Peter