vic859
10-09-13, 11:15
Hi, this is my first post ever.
I am 26 and female. I don't live with my partner, who (until now) has been based in my hometown, 90 minutes away. They will now be moving to a very prestigious job in a city also about 90 minutes away from me, but which is much more accessible. I am very, very anxious about this change from them being in my hometown, close to my parents, with a circle of friends I know well, to a city - I'm anxious because I don't know yet where they'll live, what going to stay there will be like, how often we'll see each other (she says very often, and she usually keeps her word), and because I'm so sad I won't be going to her cosy flat in my hometown. I feel sort of like I'm also leaving my hometown, although in reality I already have, except when I visit my parents. I hoped we'd make our lives in my hometown and now I have to give up on that dream - which really was only a dream, because I have no idea what job I'd have done.
I suffer from anxiety that's very very closely linked to my *horrible* PMS, which is partly managed by being on the pill (reduces the PMS and also gives me a reference for it by giving me a 28-day cycle). I am worried about my own job prospects - although very grateful to be in work, I'm not expecting to enjoy the next year. My partner will also travel abroad a reasonable amount, probably for weeks but perhaps months at a time. That will be doable but also really, really hard. I am very insecure and not very brave (although colleagues think I am productive, impressive, witty etc). I don't want to be diagnosed with anything for professional reasons. I cannot afford therapy. I can usually cope but sometimes the fear and despair just get overwhelming and I have to hide in my flat for a day or two. I am anxious about being the much lower-earning partner and am worried it'll be this way all our lives. I feel pressured and scared and so, so tired. And it's not at this stage like my mind's racing through every possibility (that's been the last few days). Now it's just like I'm on red alert all the time - it doesn't spike or change when I think directly about the things I fear, I'm already at maximum manageable (i.e. disguisable) anxiety anywhere. I really want to be a good supportive girlfriend. And not splurge on my friends or parents. But I just want a hug.
I want to cope and think positively and would really appreciate practical, basic, idiot-proof tips. Thanks so much.
I am 26 and female. I don't live with my partner, who (until now) has been based in my hometown, 90 minutes away. They will now be moving to a very prestigious job in a city also about 90 minutes away from me, but which is much more accessible. I am very, very anxious about this change from them being in my hometown, close to my parents, with a circle of friends I know well, to a city - I'm anxious because I don't know yet where they'll live, what going to stay there will be like, how often we'll see each other (she says very often, and she usually keeps her word), and because I'm so sad I won't be going to her cosy flat in my hometown. I feel sort of like I'm also leaving my hometown, although in reality I already have, except when I visit my parents. I hoped we'd make our lives in my hometown and now I have to give up on that dream - which really was only a dream, because I have no idea what job I'd have done.
I suffer from anxiety that's very very closely linked to my *horrible* PMS, which is partly managed by being on the pill (reduces the PMS and also gives me a reference for it by giving me a 28-day cycle). I am worried about my own job prospects - although very grateful to be in work, I'm not expecting to enjoy the next year. My partner will also travel abroad a reasonable amount, probably for weeks but perhaps months at a time. That will be doable but also really, really hard. I am very insecure and not very brave (although colleagues think I am productive, impressive, witty etc). I don't want to be diagnosed with anything for professional reasons. I cannot afford therapy. I can usually cope but sometimes the fear and despair just get overwhelming and I have to hide in my flat for a day or two. I am anxious about being the much lower-earning partner and am worried it'll be this way all our lives. I feel pressured and scared and so, so tired. And it's not at this stage like my mind's racing through every possibility (that's been the last few days). Now it's just like I'm on red alert all the time - it doesn't spike or change when I think directly about the things I fear, I'm already at maximum manageable (i.e. disguisable) anxiety anywhere. I really want to be a good supportive girlfriend. And not splurge on my friends or parents. But I just want a hug.
I want to cope and think positively and would really appreciate practical, basic, idiot-proof tips. Thanks so much.