meh, bad patch again

[little scientist]

Having another really bad down patch with my depression and anxiety - I just don't know how to bring myself back up. I am worried it will affect my work again (it was this time last year I had a big big bad patch and was signed off).

I think work is worrying me as I am being asked to do stuff that I don't know how to do but I am trying to be being honest and tell them that. I think I feel bad that I don't know what I am doing.

I just want to curl up and cry

[MRS STRESS ED]

you sound just like me I feel exactly the same I was off work for 5 months last year ,im feeling bad again a lot of my trouble is work tho they don't understand do your work, I wish I didn't have to work :weep:

[xvolatileheart]

:hugs: I know how you're feeling. Don't be afraid to be honest with your work - it's better to try and get things under control now instead of letting it spiral until it's unmanageable.

[little scientist]

I crumbled again at work today but had a good chat with my supervisor. I know I need to be honest with them and admit when I am struggling (which is quite a lot with a new technique I am learning!)

I really just wish I had a job where I come in, know what I am doing, and go home at the end of the day. I want to be successful in my work but I just feel stuck in a rut with it. I am great doing the science, its the thinking up the stuff behind me that I really struggle with.

[Annie0904]

Sorry to hear you are going through a bad patch again. Is your supervisor supportive? Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs:

[little scientist]

She is, although she is very busy. She understood when I had my major meltdown last year and was supportive it bringing about my return to work in a calm manner.

I just feel a bit lost at work - I don't get much guidance because my supervisor is so busy when really we should have a senior tech looking over us and creating out workload. Sometimes I just wish I could win the lottery and not work!

[loreen]

Hello

I understand your feelings towards work.

I was ill last year with anxiety, and when I went back my boss was supportive to begin with. Unfortunatly, once you are back at work, they think all is well again. As anyone with mental health problems knows ,it is the on going support which is vital, so that when we have a " blip " there is someone to turn to,before it turns into something more serious.

Hope you manage to get some help. The problem I find is everyone is so busy, no one has time to step back and see someone needs support.

Loreen xx

[little scientist]

Thanks Loreen, I am fighting my anxiety hard and am refusing to let it get the better of me.

After each day I am trying to write down the positives of my day in a notebook to focus on the good aspects. I know I have to try and turn my way of thinking around - its very hard though when I know I have been so negative for so long!

I'll emphasise my boss is very good though, she took me aside and let me cry and reassured me that what I am doing is good and I am doing well and she is pleased :)

[little scientist]

Hi all, I'm back after a couple of weeks away from here. I am pleased to say my head is in a MUCH better place. At the weekend, suddenly something felt clearer in my mind and i just had a general feeling of positivity! Fingers crossed this lasts :)