View Full Version : leukemia fears.
Hey everyone.
Just a bit of background for everyone who doesn't know, ive had severe health anxiety for 3 months.stemming from unexplained chest pains, which has now turned into all over body pain and tenderness, and I'm daily pain.
Every doctor i.have seen has dismissed the pains as anxiety, but yesterday I finally saw someone who has ordered me bloods (fbc, anca, esr, rheumatoid factor and c reactive protein). Anyway these were taken.yesterday and I have a week wait, im so scared.
Anyway, I have been getting excruciating leg pains in both legs. My thighs are tender and it feels like the pain is coming from the shin bones and ankles. Ive not done any.exercise and google kindly tells me bone pain is a tell tale sign of leukemia because is not common in many conditions.
Obviously ive worked myself into a state, and now.i have.a huge.headache,.another sign. I am also convinced my liver is swollen, im such a mess waiting for results can anyone offer me their stories or reassurance? X
---------- Post added at 12:53 ---------- Previous post was at 12:40 ----------
And I now have a sore throat, I also had a head cold last week. I.just cant get this awful.thoughts out my head I feel sick waiting for the results :(
mummyanxious
12-09-13, 16:21
I'm afraid I have no advice but I have most of those symptoms myself :(
Your blood tests should show anything untoward though x
You've got to realise that the chances of you having leukaemia are very very very very very very very very very low.
Even if you did, and you were about to find out next week, how would you live your life for the rest of this week? Would you worry yourself senseless or get out there and live to the full?
mummyanxious
12-09-13, 17:27
The only way I'm getting through this is telling myself I had the exact same thing happen to me about 4 years ago. And I wouldn't have had it go away and come back again.
But it's not that rare and someone has to get it. I worry that all the stress I've been through had given me cancer.
I worry that all the stress I've been through had given me cancer.
Can you see the vicious circle here?
mummyanxious
12-09-13, 19:14
That's not easy to disbelieve when it's constantly on the news and in papers that stress causes deadly diseases!
Mummy I know.exactly what you mean. I worriwd myself sick about my heart for weeks and weeks. When I finally stopped, I worried that all the stress from worrying was going to cause me a heart attack, and therefore it started all over again!
The news is full of people dying, ive had to stop reading the daily mail because of their daily young seemingly healthy 20 something drops dead from x,y,z stories.
Leukemia is rare in my age/gender (22 female) but this doesn't stop me worrying.
Skippy, unfortunately my last days would be full of worrying and fear, mainly about.my beautiful daughter who is doing new.things every day and i'm scared to the core I wont see her grow up :(
mummyanxious
12-09-13, 19:42
Not sure how rare it is in my age bracket...not sure I want to google and worry myself further...I'm ten years older than you...
Nearly as rare mummy, only around 50 cases per year. I know this.should make us feel better, but does it? No! Everything I have now.im fitting it somehow to leukemia. Why do we.do this.to ourselves?
mummyanxious
12-09-13, 20:31
I knew of someone who had it when I was at school and they sadly died :( Its awful just awful this torment we live in. I have small children too so I know how you will be feeling x
The worst part without a doubt is worrying I won't see my little girl grow up, I've had sleepless nights over it. I just cant see any other reasons for my pains. And to top it off I have a tight chest/sore throat that HAS to be from my immune system being attacked by leukemia cells, obviously! Argh :(
mummyanxious
13-09-13, 14:19
How long do you have to wait till?
I'm going into overdrive over my fears now. All my veins are really brighter in my arms than usual. I know that sounds completely crazy as well but its like my skin is suddenly really thin.
My bloods should be in.Wednesday. Its a horrible wait. My throat and chest are worse, I have body pains. Everything points at leukemia to me and I'm so frightened.
You dont sound crazy to me, I know.exactly how you feel.:(
mummyanxious
15-09-13, 20:03
Little boy on surprise surprise has done nothing to stop my fears :(
Worried-jen
15-09-13, 21:23
Hi there, I've just recently came back onto this forum hadnt been on for a while, starting to get bad with anxiety again, alot of what your saying I can relate too, last year I started getting a pain in my legs and round about my thighs were sore and tender to touch, I became really worried about my veins and was worried they were more noticeable than before particularly on my legs and arm, I was back and fourth to docs constantly, they took loads of blood tests and one for rheumatoid arthritis, I had convinced myself that must be it, all came back clear, I got an x ray on my leg and that came back fine, I realised after all that I was ok and if there was anything the docs would know and gradually I felt better and the pain just seemed to go it was like I wasnt thinking about it anymore, and have been ok since although now im getting a bit anxiey back due to my husband going away to america again, just trying to think positive this time and no googling.
Im sure your results be fine :)
Jen x
My blood tests came back clear! So surprised and relieved. Mummy, im sure youre fine. X
mummyanxious
17-09-13, 21:49
So very pleased for you, yay :D now to stop worrying!!!
SlightlyMad
17-09-13, 23:02
I knew of someone who had it when I was at school and they sadly died :( Its awful just awful this torment we live in. I have small children too so I know how you will be feeling x
Um...that's one hell of a thing to say on an anxiety forum! We're supposed to reassure eachother, not make our anxiety worse! lol
My blood tests came back clear! So surprised and relieved. X
I'm happy everything is fine! To think, I could have placed a sizable bet on that outcome and doubled my money ;)
Now is the time, while the memory of being worried to the point of making you ill for several days, to take the bull by the horns and seek help so you can beat this beast called health anxiety and truly enjoy watching your little girl grow up. You may not understand this until you experience it but believe me, I have two adult children and they're grown and gone in what is an instant! When you're sitting home in an empty house 20+ years from now, you'll remember some anonymous man on the internet told you so!
Good luck, positive thoughts and prayers
I had final thought on this subject.... It occurred to me that if you do remember this when it happens, I'll be most like long gone and I'm absolutely cool with that :)
Ah fishmanpa, you are an amazing person. You show so much strength and courage I am in awe of you. It's so unfair that life has dealt you such a shitty stick, but you're so positive.
And then you find time to help people like me who worry over nothing. You must feel like smacking your head against a brick wall reading some of my posts!
For what it's worth I've had a fantastic week this week. I've just got on with living my life, I've stopped googling and feel so much better for it. I still worry, I just dont dwell. My daughter is far too amazing to waste time worrying that I could be making memories with her.
Your posts have genuinely helped me, and others I assume. It was fantastic to see your thread about your recovery going well, you deserve it. I'm sure your positive.outlook and strength is only aiding your recovery.
I hope you beat this, you're an inspiration and I pray for good health for you. Xx
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