Losing touch with reality! Help!

[Rory1993]

Hi,

I've just joined this forum and was hoping to find advice/information. I know you are probably sick of hearing about the same symptoms but this is all new for me and I need all the help I can get.

Last month I had two weeks of solid panic (have never had any anxiety issues in my life) I mean no-shit-shaking-vomiting-heart pounding-would rather jump to my death panic attacks. Didn't even know it was possible to feel something so horrific!!!! They came out of nowhere. No family history. No trauma. Was in a great place in my life. Really weird.

It has been a month and the anxiety has died down significantly. Like I can actually sit still now!! Achievement! And hold a conversation without bolting like a mad woman.

But now I am noticing bizarre symptoms. Like random thoughts and very disjointed thinking patterns. Also I am so spaced out I often forget where I am or what I'm doing. I normally have the sharpest memory and I literally can't remember what I was doing 2 hours ago??? Like the day doesn't even seem like it really happened. This is terrifying me. I am afraid this must be something more than anxiety. I also have a feeling that everything isn't real or is distorted somehow but I can't explain it. I also don't recognise my family or my boyfriend (I know who they are but it doesn't FEEL like I know them) it is genuinely horrifying. I would have died for my boyfriend, he is the most amazing person I have ever met, but now I feel like I have never met him :( :( I can't feel any emotion. It's all forced. I feel dead.

Surely this has to be early psychosis or something because it is too strange. I feel like reality is slipping out of my hands and I could completely drop it at any moment.

Did you experience any of this?? I am very worried. I used to be all sunshine and light and now I feel like nothing at all.

Thanks so much for your time xxx

[PanchoGoz]

Welcome! Nothing you say signifies psychosis. In fact psychosis is totally different to anxiety, not to mention people who develop that kind of mental illness don't realise it's happening. And by the sounds of it you have no history of such a thing.
Your first stop is the doctors to rule out anything medical that could cause your panic, especially as it came from nowhere.
What you are experiencing is derealization or depersonalisation, common symptoms of anxiety. Fear not :)

[Rory1993]

Thanks so much for replying! I googled derealization and depersonalization and yeah that seems about right. Had no idea something so bizarre could exist and that's why I thought I was losing it. I feel reassured now though. Yeah I'm going to get my thyroid checked tomorrow because there is a history of that in our family and hyperthyroid apparently presents with anxiety.

Thanks for your help!!! You have no idea how much talking to people who actually understand this helps.

[AuntieMoosie]

I fully agree with PanchoGoz :)

It's in no way anything to do with psychosis although I can understand people fearing that it is.

This happens when we're in a hightened state of anxiety. As Pancho has explained, the difference is that we know it's happening, someone with psychosis wouldn't :)

I always find it really helpful to talk to others about it too and there are always lovely, kind and helpful people here who will listen and advise, you're not on your own :)

[xvolatileheart]

I've had all of those exact feelings, so you are not alone! They are all signs of extreme anxiety. Mine also started with physical panic that moved onto mental panic, it seems like it's just part of the anxiety cycle but consider it a step towards healing, as hard as it is...

You're not alone and we are here for support when you need it! Feel free to message me anytime. :hugs:

[Rubicon]

Hi, I get this too. Sometimes i look at my boyfriend if i'm feeling anxious and i'm like 'i don't even know you' or sometimes i do feel like i may be on the edge of loosing it, having to be carted off to hospital and sectioned or something.

Of course as a person with anxiety and panic attacks i hate derogatory language like 'mental' 'crazy' etc but someone said to me once 'don't worry about it, people who really are going crazy don't know it!'

It's a nice thought to remind yourself of when your brain starts heading down that path. I get all of the things you mentioned and you're more than welcome to message me if you want to chat or just want some support.

[ankietyjoe]

Another one here that all sounds very familiar to.

The trick for you right now is to accept that anxiety can throw literally any and all physical or mental symptom your way, and that it is vitally, vitally important you don't start googling new symptoms. I cannot stress that enough. It is a road to misery.

You've said the anxiety is passing, and it you 'let' it pass now it probably will.

That's not to say that it can't ever come back at some point, as there is possibly something in your life that triggered it. You don't have to acknowledge a problem in your life for your brain to feel stressed, new jobs, exams, moving etc etc. All normal things that happen in life that can even be exciting to your concious mind can be stressful to your subconscious.

At the early stages of anxiety, accepting it and letting it go is a magical cure all I think.

And you always have this place for people to tell you you're not going mad!