im loosing it...

[pepperutchie]

hi all just want to vent this out after struggling for the past weeks,i am now in a wreck mentally been upsetting my self with just about anything,easily annoyed and just easily freaks out,today my husband left just because of a pile of things that i am stressing about i nag at him saying horrible things as if i cannot control my emotions and suddenly i saw my husband dressing up and feel his fear in me and shaking i just dont know any more...im totally a mess right now just dont know where i belong...i am now worried bout my husband he is such a good man and he doesnt deserve me..im worried that he might also get this anxiety if i continue to do this to him..i just dont know what to do i feel out of control.any advice and support will be a great help
:weep:

---------- Post added at 08:15 ---------- Previous post was at 05:26 ----------

anyone?

[ankietyjoe]

I think that one important point to make is that at no point are you actually out of control, despite how it might feel.

I used to lash out at my family too, and I'm 220lbs of male lashing out at my wonderful , understanding partner and our young son. I never, ever became physical towards them, but when she explained that the sheer image of me angry and screaming terrified the pair of them I made a concious decision to stop it forever. You ARE in control of what you do and how you act, and it's your responsibility to alter those actions if you feel you are hurting loved ones.

Now that's easier said than done of course.

I found meditation to be an unbelievably successful tool in calming my mind and allowing me to think before I act. Maybe it could help you too.

[pepperutchie]

thankyou Ankietyjoe, all i want is to just reclaim my life back, ive been loosing so many things because of this anxiety it has held me in all aspect of my life,i love my husband very much..and i cannot afford to lose him .

---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 10:42 ----------

im going to try meditation and thankyou again.

[ankietyjoe]

Good luck, it can be beaten, it's just bloody hard :)