Terrified of bowel cancer diagnosis...

[JustJules]

Just been reading some previous posts on the subject of bowel cancer and symptoms and terrified myself....

Have had months of really bad anxiety, had ongoing low back ache - did have UTI in June but since then have had ultrasound on whole of abdomen, kidneys, ovaries (plus ovarian cancer blood test - fine) but now getting myself in a complete tizzy as convinced it must be my bowel as that wouldn't show up on an ultrasound.

Have got dull aches/pain in buttocks and down backs of legs - worse after I've had a bowel movement. I do have always loose stools but sometimes get solid ones as well. No blood that I can see and I only go once a day unless my anxiety is really bad.

I've googled and low backache is always associated with bowel cancer and some days I don't feel well but then pick up in the evening.

I'm going mad with worry. I see a hypnotherapist but nothing is working and I am terrified of a cancer diagnosis unless it's something that won't be terminal and then I'd just get on with getting better.

[Munchlet]

I don't think low back ache is always associated with bowel cancer, what about all the other benign things it could be like nerve or muscle problems, ibs, etc etc.

It certainly doesn't sound like the symptoms of bowel cancer from what I've read, I thought the main symptoms were blood (Which you say you can't see any) and more frequent bowel movements with a change that is not normal for you.

So if you normally have loose bowels that's not a change that is an anxiety
symptom.

I know it's hard for you to think beyond this because you are worried and anxious but honestly I don't even think they would send you for tests at this stage as it's far more likely to be a touch of IBS.

If it makes you feel better a few years ago I had IBS so bad I had the following symptoms.

Diarrohea after every meal (no normal bowel movements)
Going to the toilet at least 3 times a day sometimes more
Pain in stomach, pain in bum, pain in back.
Passing mucus with bowel movements
Feeling sick
Loss of appetite
Bleeding of bright red blood sometimes.

And all of that was down to IBS and Piles!

I had a sigmoidoscopy and saw a specialist at the hospital and that was their diagnosis and surprisingly enough once they told me that, everything calmed down in a matter of days.

So basically my anxiety was causing those symptoms, obviously I couldn't see it myself but it was.

Go and see your doctor but I don't think for one minute any of your symptoms point to bowel cancer.

Take care x

[JustJules]

Thanks Munchlet. I was worried in case there may be blood that can't be seen so maybe need to see the Dr (again...) to ask for an fecal occult test or something. Why do I keep feeling unwell with it?

The other thing that frightened me is that I have been having such vivid dreams lately (I know they get worse when you are anxious) but I've had two where the words '5cm cancerous tumour' was just randomly said in one dream and the other where somebody said 'I was just feeling so low and rundown and it was cancer' - where on earth did that come from? I read somewhere that dreams can warn us of something not right so now I'm worried that's what it was telling me?

[Munchlet]

I think it's very easy for us to read too much into things because it's in our nature to do this. You are having these dreams because you are thinking you have cancer so therefore it's playing on your mind constantly and when yous sleep you dream about it. I've done this myself when I have tests coming up and I always dream the result will be bad etc, I think it's just another part of the HA and proof that our bodies never actually switch off from it even when asleep.

You are probably feeling run down because you are, anxiety does horrible things to the body and can make you feel really unwell.

When my IBS was at it's worse I remember going to the doctor feeling so sick I couldn't bare the thought of food it was awful and I didn't believe them when they said it's anxiety and IBS.

I've been feeling run down on and off for a couple of weeks but I've too been really anxious and I'm trying to reassure myself thats whats making me feel ill.

If you are really worried go to the doctor as they are the ones who can give you peace of mind.

I'm sure they'll do a stool test if you are that concerned and I'm sure it will be fine. x

[saab]

I don't think dreams are a reliable predictor of anything. If they were I would constantly be taking exams without my clothes on, and I'm not.

Do you not think that the most likely thing is that having been given the all clear about gynacological issues, your anxious mind has looked for something else to fixate on? Hence, back pain becomes bowel cancer. If you had had a headache it would have been a brain tumour. If you had dizziness, then a neurological problem.

I used to do that all the time when my HA was bad. If my palpitations were ok, my mind would find something else to worry about. I spent a weekend thinking a red lump behind my knee was the start of a thrombosis - it was an insect bite.

Part of coping with health anxiety is accepting uncertainty. You could have bowel cancer, but the most logical explanation is something more mundane.

[suttree63]

Hi Jules,... For the past 4-6 weeks I've been afflicted with pain in my lower back, right hand side, just above the bum ... These past few weeks I have had little appetite, irregular bowel movements and periods of nausea and wanting to vomit. I drive a thousand miles a week and hours in my car really exacerbate the back pain which seems to spread up into my side and down into my right testicle (too much info !?). SO ... of course I start to convince myself it's serious, like a bowel cancer or kidney cancer and took myself off to the doctor this afternoon. She's pretty sure it's ... a strained muscle. I feel a bit more relaxed now.

I suppose I'm asking you (and myself) to try to accept just how powerful our minds can be in generating symptons and that anxiety is normally the cause. This is a valuable website for people to communicate their worries and help each other to alleviate our 'shared' symptons. Chin up.

[JustJules]

Thanks everybody for your kind responses. I'm doing all I can to sort this HA thing out again. Seems to come on after a period of great stress over the years.

I am trying hypno and the lady is great to talk to and I think it's helping. I'm trying mindfulness but I'm taking it all in whilst reading it but not putting much into practice, so that's my fault really.

Hate being like this. Really want a holiday but terrified of flying! I'm terrified of everything at the moment! I HATE BEING LIKE THIS!