It's starting...

[Elle-Kay]

I start my new job tomorrow, and sitting here tonight, I can feel the little [}:)] in me starting to rear his ugly head :(

I have my Kalms. I have my Rescue Remedy. I've been taking my vit B, and I have my panic stone to rub into gravel, but I'm still getting more and more agitated as the evening goes on.

At the moment, I don't want to go to bed, because my silly mind is telling me that if I don't sleep, tomorrow morning won't sneak up so fast. I wish I'd never accepted the job, or I'd called back to say I'd changed my mind. I'm finding myself saying "you haven't signed a contract yet. You're not bound to anything, if it turns out to be too much". I don't want to go, but I don't want to have to face the judgements that will come afterwards if I don't (or rather, can't).

My boyfriend says "It probably won't be as bad as you think", and he's probably right - I've met the guy before, it's a small practice so not a huge, impersonal corporation, it's a pleasant physical environment to work in. But the 'but' is always there - I'm not dreading the job per se, I'm dreading not being able to handle the job, having to get out of it some way, and making a fool out of myself, or having to deal with a highly awkward situation in which I know I would cave in.

This is my first proper job (until now I've been at university), so I don't really know the ins and outs of it. I don't understand how I would go about dealing with it if I did find that it was too much and had to leave. I know there would be notice, but if I was making myself so ill with anxiety that I couldn't continue, surely I wouldn't be required to work out that notice? I'd be put under a doctor's note or something? But would the health service then have cause to forcefully send me for treatment?

I'm so confused, and so wishing I could turn back time :(

~* Do what you want. Nobody else will do it for you *~

[Meg]

Its anticipatory anxiety.. which would be normal for anyone starting their first job. It may be a bit enhanced in anxiety sufferers.

You're doing all the right things . Some exercise would be helpful so a walk or something may help settle you , then lavender bath and bed with large glass of rescue remedied water .

Take an emergency kit with you lavender oil, rescue remedy , snack such as a banana etc and go from there and look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.

I can answer all those questions but lets wait to see how the first few days go ..

Good luck


Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[nomorepanic]

Hi Leah

Ok - well you are not alone in the feelings. We all get scared about a new job - even those non-panickers out there do.

We just have heightened feelings and feel more panicky.

You need to prepare yourself so a nice relaxing bath, some nice scented candles and an early night. Try a small glass of wine in the bath if you drink or if not then a hot milky drink before bed.

Above all you need to try and sleep well so you are alert and ready to take it on tomorrow.

If you find it hard to sleep then read for a while or play some calming music.

Tomorrow morning - make sure you get some breakfast inside you - toast, cornflakes, fruit, yoghurt - anything as long as you eat ok.

When you get there then just compose yourself and keep telling yourself that you will be fine.

Best of luck to you and just remember that we are all sending you positive thoughts and good luck !!!

xx


Nicola

[nomorepanic]

When i said a small glass of wine in the bath - I meant to drink not to bathe in lol!!

Nicola

[EMMA]

Leah,

As you know I too am starting a new job tomorrow. I've been feeling agitated all day! I've had my meds, my rescue rememedy and a couple of glasses of wine. I too don't want to go to bed early because I don't want the morning to come round quickly. The thing is that I have worked in this sort of job for 12 years and even though I know I can do the job I am still doubting myself because my anxiety is taking over. This job is in accounting and I have been studying at college towards an accounting qualification. I was so looking foward to putting what I've learnt into practice and making fresh start. I am going to go to work tomorrow armed with my rescue remedy and try to be calm. The people at the interview were really nice.

I hope it goes well for you tomorrow. Don't panic too much. I'm sure you will be fine. Once you get one day under your belt you will be fine. I know it's difficult to get into a job when you're straight from uni but don't panic. People are generally nice. I've had about four jobs in my time and they've always worked out fine. And I've made a lot of good friends too.

I'm anxious about my new job because I've been made redundant from my old one and I loved the people I worked with. This is what has added to my anxiety. :( I hated the job though so I have to keep telling myself I am moving on to better things.:)

Good luck for tomorrow and let me know how you get on.

Take care

Emma x :)

[Elle-Kay]

Thank-you everyone :)

I've had a mug of milky tea (I can't stand anything that tastes more of milk than that - yuk! hehe), I've got a good book to read for a while in bed, and I have a bottle of water with rescue remedy in to sip while I'm still awake.

Tomorrow I will have my emergency kit (probably also complete with assorted indigestion remedies!), my book for any 'off' time and my lunch hour, a clean pad and pencil because I sometimes find that writing something (anything - even copying from a book!) will distract me, and the knowledge that my boyfriend will be visiting me at the end of the week to look forward to - here's hoping it all works! :)

Good luck with your day, Emma. We must report back to one another tomorrow evening!

Leah

~* Do what you want. Nobody else will do it for you *~

[sarah]

Hiya Leah and Emma

SNAP...I know just how you feel. Im going to see about a job tomorrow (just finalising hours/pay/qualifications etc)- ive already got the job and its only a temporary one but I havent worked for 18months and I got made redundant from my last one so im in a similiar postion.

Im dreading it but kind of excited at the same time.

I really hope you 2 get on well tomorrow, I will be thinking of you!!

take care
love sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

[Meg]

Remember excitement and fear all present with the same symptoms.

So turn your nervousness into excitement in your head and all 3 of you have good days.





Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[sarah]

Yep you are totally right Meg

I think thats why im scared but excited too..mad eh?

thankyou!!!!!

love sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

[Caz Fab Pants]

Wow, really admire you guys and cant wait to hear how you all got on.

I'm sure you will all be wondering what you were so worried about now that the ice is broken and you've done your first day.

Well done (maybe a little premature but still :D)

C
x

[EMMA]

The morning started off terrible. I just wanted to leg it out of the room. I'd had my Diazepam, Paroxetine and Rescue Remedy but I still felt terrible. Afternoon got a little better. I think it was because they hadn't really prepared my any work to do. The best part of the day was the last half hour. I felt fine then. Typical! I know that part of the anxiety is because it's something new. But I was annoyed at the fact that nobody spoke to me except the guys I was working with. I felt a bit alone which didn't help and my mind started racing. I was also missing my old work mates which didn't help.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. They are going to show me reports and things and explain more about the company. I've ony been on Paroxetine a week so I know they are not in full effect yet. I need to sweat it out.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Em :D

[nomorepanic]

Hey Em

Well done to you - you did it and you stayed all day so that is a big acheivement in itself.

Don't beat yourself up over not feeling so good cos it is only natural to feel like that with this panic/anxiety.

Good luck for tomorrow and I hope it goes a bit better for you ok?
x

Nicola

[Meg]

Hi Emma,

Well done for sticking it out.

With anxiety and panic it does ease with familiarity and staying in situ which would explain the bit about why it got better as the day progressed.
Also once you know you can happily leave in 30 minutes you are mightily relieved and subconciously relax .

Good for you . Congratulations

Best wishes for tomorrow.


Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Elle-Kay]

Well, my morning wasn't too bad. I had a bit of a moment just before I got there, when I couldn't face going in and wanted to turn around and walk the other way back up the street, but I went in, and though I was jumpy, it did pass. The patients were all really nice, and understanding when I had to tell them that it was my first day, and I didn't know how to book them an appointment, what to charge them etc. yet.

My big moment came after I'd been home for lunch, and got back to the clinic. Sean (my boss) was just showing me some more things that I needed to know, and I suddenly had a huge wave of panic which made me retch and nearly sent me straight out the door again, but I stayed, and gradually it passed again (though it took a while longer, until I had gotten myself something to do again, the second time).

Once I was busy again in the afternoon, I didn't really notice much out of the ordinary. I think maybe what didn't help my post-lunch episode was that I hadn't sipped much of my rescue remedy, and I'd had a cup of tea with my lunch. For some reason, when I'm anxious, even one cup of tea seems to make me more so. Tomorrow I think I will have juice instead!

I'm still nervous about tomorrow, but as long as nothing too unexpected happens to disrupt my 'settling in', I'm hoping I'll just be able to wait it out until I gradually feel comfortable.

Leah

~* Do what you want. Nobody else will do it for you *~

[Meg]

Good day Leah .. well done for hanging in there despite your wave of panic..

Maybe you are very sensitive to caffiene at present .

Hope tomorrow goes well.


Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[EMMA]

Hi Leah,

Your day sounds pretty much like mine. Mine came in waves. I ended up putting rescue remedy in my water, had a diazepam at 11.00 and the rescue at lunch time again. Not convinced the rescue stuff worked but I made it through the day. And well done to you too for sticking it out.

Let's hope we have better days tomorrow. I think we are over the worst. It can't get any worse surely now the first day is out of the way.

I was so relieved to get home and see my bloke though. I gave him a big hug and felt much better.

Just wish he earned enough money so I didn't have to work! You can but wish!!

Take care and have a good day tomorrow.

Emma x :D

[nomorepanic]

Hey Leah

Congratulations to you too - loads of success in here tonight.

You did well - you stayed like Em and although you felt anxious you did it.

Good luck for tomorrow now.
x

Nicola

[sarah]

Hiya Leah and Emma

BIG WELL DONE to both of you. Thats really good news that you managed to stick it out.

Im sure that as the days go on it will become easier as it gets more familiar.

You Go girls!!!!!

love Sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

[Elle-Kay]

Just by way of an update, today I was still nervous, but it was easier, and any anxiety I felt during the day passed more swiftly than yesterday :) I went home for my lunch again, because it makes me more comfortable to have a specific point at which to break the day up, but I also managed to eat an apple mid-way through the afternoon - quite an accomplishment for me, as I never usually eat when I'm away from home, "just in case".

I hope your second day went well too, Emma! :)

Leah xx

~* Do what you want. Nobody else will do it for you *~

[EMMA]

My day was a little better. Very anxious this morning, but it passed more quickly. Had less waves. I couldn't eat yesterday but managed to go to supermarket at lunch time and had some food today. I even took some grapes back to the office to munch on in the afternoon. I put rescue remedy in my water. Felt a bit spaced but was calm. They showed me plenty of work so afternoon went quickly. Had a bit of a chat with them too which broke the ice.

Glad your day was better too. Hopefully by the end of the week we will be fine. I'm determined to make this job work because it's all I've ever wanted to do. I'm not going to let this anxiety spoil it.

Good luck for tomorrow. At least we are sounding more positive.

Em xx