My Personality is gone?? Can anyone relate??

[Rory1993]

Hi,

I feel as though I have totally lost my personality or that it has changed. Like when I am speaking it's not what I would normally be saying and it doesn't even sound like me??

Normally I am relaxed and outgoing and fun. I feel dead and empty and flat now even when I don't feel anxious. I feel as if I have lost myself :( My boyfriend and family have noticed the difference too.

I love my boyfriend but I find it hard to be with him because all I can think about is how I am so different from the girl he fell in love with. It's such an effort just speaking to my family and trying to be 'normal'.

Does anyone else feel as though their personality has gone/changed??

I know when I'm anxious it's easy to be distracted and act weirdly but I am not myself even when my anxiety level is low! I find this intensely frightening!! I loved my old personality and I just want to be me again. I fell so uncomfortable all the time. Like I can't relax into myself.

Thanks as always for your help and support.

[MRS STRESS ED]

I can totally relate from were your coming from, anxiety does change you ,I use to be lively loved going out ,now im quieter I never go out to scared I always make excuses ,im not the same person ,I wish I could be me again it causes so many problems in my life ,feels like life is on hold is that how you feel it takes me all my time to go work :hugs:

[xvolatileheart]

I know the feeling very, very well. I am not at all the person I used to be. I was funny, adventurous, outgoing... now I pretend to be those things but I am a shell of who I used to be. I don't really feel joy or happiness or excitement about anything. The only thing I know how to feel is fear and worry. Like you say, even when the anxiety isn't there, I just feel completely empty. It's like the anxiety has eaten me alive. I'm only 24, I can't believe my life has turned into this.

[Rory1993]

yep im with u on that one, i feel like im a total shell from the woman i used to be :( i get little glimpses sometimes like when im out and have a few drinks and i forget all the anxiety stuff and my fiance says im great and my sense of humour is amazing but it doesnt really laast long !! i feel like im not good enough for my fiance and its only a matter of time before he leaves me for someone who has all the qualities i had when we first met !!! i feel like when i focus on this it makes my mental health even worse and its all swings and roundabouts !!! big hugs to u all xxx

I relate to this so so much!! Before this anxiety I was the happiest I've ever been and we had such a great relationship. I remember he said when we first started if he could sum me up in one word it would be 'carefree'. That is so laughable now. I am the polar opposite of carefree. I literaly feel like I've been devoured by anxiety and other symptoms. I can't remember what being carefree was like. It's like I don't even know that girl I used to be.

I am so scared he'll leave me. I wouldn't blame him though. It must be as strange to him to lose his girlfriend as it is for me to lose myself. I hope that who I used to be is still alive somewhere because there is no point in being this hollow person for the rest of my life :(

It makes me so sad that so many people are feeling this bad. Especially since everyone here is so helpful, smart and compassionate. You all deserve to be happy. :hugs:

[Tessar]

Hello everyone. I was interested in this thread because I have, at times, felt as if I'd lost my personality. For me it was caused by depression & having social anxiety and a total lack of self-esteem (brought on by bullying in the workplace). Turned out that I had troubles dating back to my childhood that probably had sat there at the back of my mind just waiting to strike. So being bullied at work tipped me into depression & then the whole thing kicked off.
Has anyone tried a talking therapy? Perhaps counselling or CBT? It was CBT that turned my life around. That was several years ago and the difference has been quite incredible. People have said to me that I used to be so quiet. I am much more outgoing now. In fact, there are times I don't feel like being outgoing but I know from experience I might as well get stuck into life & if that means pushing myself to do some things that at the outset make me a little uncomfortable, because the things work - it is worth the short-term discomfort to achieve better things in life.
I have had some more recent problems (brought on by a bereavement) but the same thing still stands. I have to push myself to keep getting stuck into life. I take fluoxetine which does dull my upper emotions but it keeps me more even generally so it is helpful.
I'd be interested to know what you might have tried to help with the feelings of losing your personality or not feeling you can socialise, be yourself and so on. I have had success with CBT and many other things and would love to help you to improve your situations. Bye for now but love to hear from you. x

[AuntieMoosie]

I understand what you're saying hun.

I lost my personality nearly totally when I was very bad with anxiety, I think the anxiety just takes over and because we then feel so unwell, it kind of dampens our personality.

I also suffer from depression, so that doesn't really help either.

I found that Citalopram was really having a bad effect on my personality too, it made me feel emotionally dead and I hated that, but I'm now on Sertraline, and I feel so much more emotionally alive now and my personality is shining through again :) :hugs:

Tessar I sometimes have to really give myself a good shove in the right direction too, I have days when my motivation is naff!!.....the hard bit is kicking yourself into action, but once I've done that, I feel heaps better, it's kind of like your mind just decides............nahhhhhhh.........I aint playing today :winks: :hugs:

Usually, once we get a handle on the anxiety, everything else tends to fall back into place, so try not to worry too much, your personality is still there and will reappear as you get to feeling better

[NoPoet]

People forget the very basics about life. We grow and change, especially when we're going through this kind of crap. None of us are who we used to be. If we are, that means we have made no progress and will remain trapped in the anxiety state. If we go back to how we were, we have relapsed, not improved.

To some extent, the way we used to think and behave was counter-productive and we reached the point where we could not continue thinking and acting the same way. We have to accept that we must sacrifice what we were for what we'll become: we've got to let go of our old way of seeing the world and find a new, more helpful one, then embrace it and learn to trust it, even if that means we feel strange and new, like we don't recognise ourselves at first.

Change is good, you've just got to look at how you can make it work for you.