scotland2013
17-09-13, 16:28
Hi Im new on here, Im 27,male
On may 26th I went to my local pub as I did every Sunday for 3 or 4 pints before Sunday dinner with the family, this particular Sunday I went back to the pub after my dinner and had quite a late one.
On the Monday it all started, I was sitting on the sofa after work watching tele and my heart was beating fast, I felt as if I was going for a big job interview, my nerves started to fail, I was nervous lying in bed, nervous if I heard something outside, I couldn't sleep, started worrying about everything, started crying all the time, was time for the doctor!!
Went to the doctor he said whats been going on in your life, worke home etc?
So I told him, split up with my girlfriend last year, dad had cancer of the voice box and needed it removed(horrible experience for the whole family), bought my 1st house on my own(had lived with parents before that) my job was ending in september, my house mate who was paying rent to me lost his job and moved out, I was working 8-5 at my normal job as a mechanic and working from 5-10 every night, saturdays and sundays on a campervan i had bought to do up and make money on, I was spending every penny I had on it and getting into more debt with my credit card!!
He said STRESS has triggered anxiety you need to take time off but I couldn't I needed the money to pay morgage and bills and to finish the campervan as I was only half way through it! But it got worse, one day when went for lunch at my mums I just broke down, cried for an hour, my mind had gone, I thought I was going crazy, am useless at my job, I'll never get another job,Iv'e no confidence, I would drive to work in a total daze worrying about everything, I could hardly lift a spanner at work without getting stressed, after work I would just drive for hours in daze or walk up and down the beach for hours, I stopped replying to texts or calls from friends, stop seeing friends, cancelling trips etc, could hardly get out of bed! Negative thought started, bad thoughts, untrue thoughts, would stay for weeks, couldn't fight them off!
Went back to the doc about 2 days after seeing him the 1st time couldnt handle it anymore, couldn't even go to doctor myself (27 year old man and needed his mum to go to the doctors) I was prescribed setraline, it made me worse, went back again prescribed prozac, reluctant to take it but I did!
In the mean time I somehow managed to continue with work and with help off my dad continue with the campervan at nights, I sold the campervan which was a great relief and am now redundant as off 1st of sept!
The stress and nerves seem to have settled but i'm left with the depression, washing the dishes or making the t is a major operation, if i won the lottery I wouldn't care, just want to lie in bed or on the sofa all day, have no interest in anything its horrible! I was never like this, was always doing something, am I going to be stuck like this or will things just take a while to level out!
I'm not sure if I should take time off ( which i dont think is helping my depression) try find some work which is not stressful or jump on a plane and go travel?? I dont know if I'm in the right frame of mind to do that considering some days I cant get ou of bed!
Phew, maybe to long for some people to read
1 reply would be nice
On may 26th I went to my local pub as I did every Sunday for 3 or 4 pints before Sunday dinner with the family, this particular Sunday I went back to the pub after my dinner and had quite a late one.
On the Monday it all started, I was sitting on the sofa after work watching tele and my heart was beating fast, I felt as if I was going for a big job interview, my nerves started to fail, I was nervous lying in bed, nervous if I heard something outside, I couldn't sleep, started worrying about everything, started crying all the time, was time for the doctor!!
Went to the doctor he said whats been going on in your life, worke home etc?
So I told him, split up with my girlfriend last year, dad had cancer of the voice box and needed it removed(horrible experience for the whole family), bought my 1st house on my own(had lived with parents before that) my job was ending in september, my house mate who was paying rent to me lost his job and moved out, I was working 8-5 at my normal job as a mechanic and working from 5-10 every night, saturdays and sundays on a campervan i had bought to do up and make money on, I was spending every penny I had on it and getting into more debt with my credit card!!
He said STRESS has triggered anxiety you need to take time off but I couldn't I needed the money to pay morgage and bills and to finish the campervan as I was only half way through it! But it got worse, one day when went for lunch at my mums I just broke down, cried for an hour, my mind had gone, I thought I was going crazy, am useless at my job, I'll never get another job,Iv'e no confidence, I would drive to work in a total daze worrying about everything, I could hardly lift a spanner at work without getting stressed, after work I would just drive for hours in daze or walk up and down the beach for hours, I stopped replying to texts or calls from friends, stop seeing friends, cancelling trips etc, could hardly get out of bed! Negative thought started, bad thoughts, untrue thoughts, would stay for weeks, couldn't fight them off!
Went back to the doc about 2 days after seeing him the 1st time couldnt handle it anymore, couldn't even go to doctor myself (27 year old man and needed his mum to go to the doctors) I was prescribed setraline, it made me worse, went back again prescribed prozac, reluctant to take it but I did!
In the mean time I somehow managed to continue with work and with help off my dad continue with the campervan at nights, I sold the campervan which was a great relief and am now redundant as off 1st of sept!
The stress and nerves seem to have settled but i'm left with the depression, washing the dishes or making the t is a major operation, if i won the lottery I wouldn't care, just want to lie in bed or on the sofa all day, have no interest in anything its horrible! I was never like this, was always doing something, am I going to be stuck like this or will things just take a while to level out!
I'm not sure if I should take time off ( which i dont think is helping my depression) try find some work which is not stressful or jump on a plane and go travel?? I dont know if I'm in the right frame of mind to do that considering some days I cant get ou of bed!
Phew, maybe to long for some people to read
1 reply would be nice