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View Full Version : Why can't I be like that more often (DO NOT READ if you're a nervous flyer)



Rennie1989
17-09-13, 16:54
Hiya all

As a typical person with GAD I worry about anything and everything to a ridiculous degree. I can't count the amount of times I've walked to work nearly having a panic attack because I wasn't convinced that all the windows were closed or my laptop was turned off, even though I knew they were fine. It does affect me to the point where I'd prefer to stay at home then suffer with the anxiety going out.

But yet at a time when a normal reaction is to panic and freak I am often the most calmest!

Husband and I returned from our honeymoon on Sunday afternoon. I was worried about the weather but I found out that the worst was not going to hit our airport until hours after we landed, but when I saw 8-12 hour delays on some planes I was worried that we'd hit the weather, fortunately we departed on time. As we began to descend the pilot said that there were wind of 25mph, I felt fine, a little concerned, but realised that these pilots have flown in worse conditions. But as we approached the airport the plane began to rock side-to-side. Barely a second passed when the view changed from looking directly down at the ground to looking back up at the sky. The passengers around me, including my husband, looked terrified. I looked down the aisle and saw couples holding hands, as a frequent flyer I never saw anything like it, it was like a film. I held on tightly on my husband's hand as we landed pretty heavily onto the runway (husband saw one of the flaps on the wing slightly break) and the noise was alarming. Once the plane stopped I felt my heart flop to my feet!

As we spoke about the flight I said how terrified I was, I could see us crash landing on the runway, wings and engines breaking off, the lot! I literally thought that we would not leave this unharmed, but that's what your mind does in anxiety (as we all know), but my mind stayed focused and more-or-less rational. But my husband said how calm I looked, by looking at me he kept calm.

It was weird, I saw these scenarios but I didn't panic. I just looked forward and to my husband and breathed. I was calm. And yet when my life is not in danger (OK a little exaggeration) I freak out and panic. Why can't I be calm like that more often?

jayjoe18
17-09-13, 19:56
Wow that sounds so scary! Glad to hear everything was OK and that you landed safely!
It's wierd but I've been similar, super scary situations like flying to America, being in crowded NYC, going on subways, helicopters etc I was totally calm and perfectly happy (though getting there in the first place was hard!) Yet the tiny things like walking to the corner shop I'm a total nervous wreck. I don't understand it! Maybe in these situations when we know we can't escape no matter what we somehow find that inner strength? It's really wierd...

Congratulations on your wedding by the way!

Fishmanpa
17-09-13, 20:31
What stands out to me is that you stayed calm for him. Why not use that as a catalyst anytime you feel a panic attack coming on? Do it for your husband and you'll be doing for yourself and the both of you ;)

Breezy
17-09-13, 20:41
I'm exactly the same. The really big scary things in life I deal with very well and very calmly. It's the little everyday things that send my anxiety off the scale! Strange :unsure:

Rennie1989
18-09-13, 14:15
Fishmanpa - I will try and keep that mentality in my mind when I start to feel anxious. With planning a wedding and coming across situations where I would have loved to run away or hid from I've had to just face them, it's made me feel quite awesome about myself. I also complained about it less, I wouldn't confined into my husband saying 'I felt crap about it'.

Although I haven't had a panic attack in ages (yes, I can proudly say I did not have one panic attack whilst planning the wedding!) it's more of the ultra-fight-or-flight mode my body goes in to. I haven't had a true panic attack since the beginning of the year, where I do feel panic, instead I get attacks where my body is freaking out (hyperventilating, shaking, jitters etc) but I don't actually feel anxious or in panic. They're still a challenge to keep at bay but far easier than before.