Prague holiday

[NE21 worrier]

Hello everyone,

I feel I must write a post as, even as I sit here in bed with the laptop appropriately on my lap, I feel as if I am coursing with adrenaline. It's part-excitement, part-anticipatory anxiety, no doubt as I'm off to my favourite* capital city in Europe - Prague - for a four days tomorrow with three friends to celebrate my 30th birthday in style. YAY!:D

Despite having been twice before and enjoyed it there, I've still got the usual tightness in the chest and the tummy at the moment. Also a bit of mind chatter going on about how well I'll eat out there, if I'll make myself bad by enjoying the Pilsner too much, and how tiring the whole thing will be.

Generally, though, I would actually say the signs are ok for now. The night before a trip away has rarely been a great time for me in the past, and I've had full panic attacks. Instead, I just feel super tired right now after another long, sometimes stressful, day at work - (more on that when I come back, perhaps, as I've found the last couple of weeks really tough). However, it does mean that I should have no bother sleeping when I turn the computer off.

Anyway, this is just a general update really. And a thread for me to add any update on my thoughts and feelings in the morning as I leave for Newcastle Airport at 12.30, flight at 2.30. I'll be posting an update on Sunday when I get back :)

Thanks,
Peter
(*PS. I would say Ljubljana is a close second after this summer!)

[kittikat]

Have a wonderful birthday and a fantastic break away from it all - you will be fine ;)

All the best, Kitti :)

[NE21 worrier]

Ah thanks Kitti,

I'll make sure I'll have a good time. Woke up with a tight chest, all bloated up and had the usual bout of diarrhea.

However, an odd thing also happened: I decided to have a shave and as I filled up the water and soaped my face up, my hands were trembling. But as I concentrated on the shave, my hands became steadier.

This tells me that there is genuinely nothing more than anxiety (and associated acid reflux) wrong with me. I'll be OK... I hope:unsure:

[bernie1977]

Wishing you a Happy Birthday & a wonderful trip. Enjoy yourself! :birthday:

[NE21 worrier]

Feeling really nauseous - barely managing an apple at the moment :sad:

Also, I can't find my camera anywhere! Due to be at a friend's house for 12...

[bernie1977]

Get some mints, I find they help take away that horrible nausea feeling and taste from my mouth. You can do this........ENJOY!!

[kittikat]

Anticipatory anxiety is the worst...and I'm sure that's all it is.

Like Bernie says, mints or boiled sweets and a bottle of water in your survival kit :) lots of distraction therapy if you can...music, magazine, book etc.

Have a fab time & a very :birthday1::birthday::birthday1::birthday: :yesyes:

[Annie0904]

Have a fab time Peter and Happy Birthday :) xx

[jayjoe18]

Anticipatory anxiety is the worst, but usually it is just what it says, anticipatory, I usually find that once I've got where I'm going the anxiety levels drop though getting there is so difficult! I remember being exactly as you described when I went to America, awful! It's a time you should be excited not scared!

Just know that you've done it before so you have the strength to do it again, good luck and have a great time!

Oh, and happy 30th!!

[Sparkle1984]

I hope you enjoy your holiday and have a happy birthday. I turn 30 early next year but I'm still not sure what to do to celebrate!

[NE21 worrier]

Thanks for your replies folks - I did read them as I set off but I don't have a modern smartphone-type thing so I find it difficult to reply when I'm not on my laptop.

Anyway, similar to my previous thread before I went away on my Eurotrip in the summer, it was indeed just anticipatory anxiety and it soon fell away when I got going.

As I've written above, Prague is probably my favourite place in the world so I guess I was always going to enjoy myself when I got there. But, while I'm aware it's not particularly the done thing to promote your own blog on this website, I have written a relevant post about the trip, quoted below:


Turning 30 in Prague: a perspective

THE BEAUTIFUL surroundings in the city of Prague are where I decided to celebrate my 30th birthday, a choice inspired by two previous visits to the Czech capital.

Prague is a magical place to someone like me, someone who fancies himself as a bit of an amateur history buff and a big fan of quality beer.

Of course, a 30th birthday is seen as a bit of a landmark, usually signifying an end to sprightly youthfulness and the onset of middle age.

I have no doubt that it was all in good humour - but a September birthday has the consequence of me being one of the oldest in my school year and, among my long-term friends on the trip, there were inevitable 'old man' jokes at my expense.

Additionally, one of my cards warned that it was "all downhill from here" - and, in certain senses, that prediction looks rather grimly accurate.

A difficult morning in Prague was described brilliantly by one of my friends as "the hangover of [my] past 29 years".

But, while I have noticed my hangovers nowadays hit me worse than ever, I have found that there are actually some advantages to my advancing years.

It is an unfortunate fact that my 20s, and particularly my late 20s - while featuring so many fantastic memories that it would be impossible to list them all - have also been set in the context of my issues with panic and generalised anxiety.

Last year, ridiculously, I almost missed the trip of a lifetime to Thailand (http://theintrepidreporter.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/thailand-2012-from-panic-to-paradise.html), and the most significant repeat episode this year left me dangerously dosed up and debilitated in Dublin on diazepam. It later even affected my ability to work, too.

Indeed, my head was so all over the place that I even stopped doing something which I find that I really enjoy (http://theintrepidreporter.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/end-of-line-my-ongoing-battle.html): writing this blog.

Thankfully, I backtracked on that particularly rash decision (http://theintrepidreporter.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/on-second-thoughts.html) and I am still getting help through a therapist with the underlying causes of my anxiety.

Specifically, it is a lack of self-confidence derived from the core belief that I just cannot and will not cope with the various challenges which life will always throw at me.

Now, of course, there is a whole stack of evidence in my life to the contrary of that belief - and my sessions with the practitioner aim for me to focus on this. They also challenge and rid me of certain 'safety' behaviours which I consider help me but actually ensure my problems persist.

Armed with the facts, it is amazing just how far a different perspective in life can take you.

This summer, I visited three other capital cities - Budapest in Hungary, Zagreb in Croatia, and Ljubljana in Slovenia - with barely an ounce of anxiety, and happily my visit to Prague was a similarly unspoiled experience.

I drank in various beer halls - U Medvídků, U Fleků, and U Vejvodů among my favourites, and visited the excellent Klášterní Pivovar Strahov and the unmissable Beer Museum - twice.

I went to the Museum of Communism, amusingly situated next to McDonalds, and - across the glorious Karlov Most - to the Franz Kafka Museum to learn about a writer even more tortured by his inner demons than myself.

Finally, I scaled the heights of the Powder Tower, and then Prague's most famous landmark, the medieval Astronomical Clock in the Old Town Square.

Yes, it was rather apt that the entry into my 30s was marked in a place so indelibly linked with the passing of time.

And, as I reflect on this most special of birthdays, I will confidently predict to give myself an easier ride in my 30s than my 20s.

It is time to ensure turning 30 in Prague was simply a milestone in life - and not another millstone.

Thank you to all my family and friends who have listened to me, helped me out, and just asked me how I was. The cloud is lifting and I am getting better at this crazy thing called life.http://theintrepidreporter.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/turning-30-in-prague-perspective.html

Thanks again, everyone xx :)