Feeling Helpless, can anyone help me?

[sedohrrelyt]

Sorry for how long this post i feel like I need to vent

I'm so helpless and hopeless. I have panic attacks all day, everyday. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go I bed. I don't even know what I'm so afraid of. It's like I used I be a severe hypochondriac.. Every pain, ache or sensation would send me into a panic for weeks/even months.

Now, I feel like I'm going Schizo, or losing my sanity. I can't handle this anymore. I'm so sad all the time. I'm 20 years old and I can't handle waking up in the morning with no responsibilities. I have never been able to work. I had to drop out of high school. For 5 years I've been in complete hell.

My dad just died last November to a sudden heart attack. My mom is seeing someone new who is basically living with us.

I feel like I need to go into a mental institution or something. I can't stop feeling like there is SOMETHING more than just anxiety and panic going on with me whether it's some mental illness of physical illness. I won't even know what triggers my panic outburst. They just come on randomly and my thoughts go to fast. My brother just tells me to ignore it but I can't.

I hate this feeling. I hate it, my brain is so negative towards everything. I'm so severely self-conscious. I've been researching everything, I've been to therapist but I can't get into one consistently. It's always like 3 weeks in between every appointment. Or they cost too much money, thy don't accept my mom's insurance.

I went to a pshyciatrist but it turns out all he does is prescribe medicine and doesn't even talk to me and it's 3 week in between appointments with her. I can't find a good psychotherapist in or near Winchester, VA to see. I can't even get help when I'm trying so hard to help myself. Who else would be thinking about checking themselves into a mental hospital. Please if anyone can help me.

I'm on meds but I ran out of my Xanax, (which I only take when I really need it). I'm on Prozac and Divalproex, even though she says she doesn't know if I'm Bipolar or not. I'm just so sick and tired of this. Please of any one can help..

[Kez_miller]

Hi....

im so sorry to hear that you feel it has come to this, i am from the UK and i no exactly what you are going through. but please before you do anything silly, read this and let me explain things too you!

If you commit suicide now, you've given up! who is to say that tomorrow wont be the best day of your life? who is to say tomorrow wont be the start of the rest of your life? well if you kill yourself you will never ever find out! and you may have given up on the best chance you ever had!

Truth is, it just takes a change of mindset to get through this! Think of something you wanna do in life! maybe you'd love to become a millionaire? who wouldn't! well its not as hard as it seems! sit down, and brain storm ways of making lots of money! maybe you wanna be a Doctor yourself? or there is a job you have always wanted to do! what ever it is! sit down! research and research and make things happen! dedicate every second of your day to becoming what you want to be! and WHEN you DO make that first million! or land you dream job! you will have forgot what you were depressed about in the first place!

Give your time to something worth while! Don't give your mind a second of your time! go help a homeless person! buy them a meal! get them cleaned up! give advice to people like am now! that makes you feel better!

Maybe you fancy a vacation somewhere fun! well plan it!

But seriously do not take your own life! it will be a waste of 20 years!

If you wanna chat! please inbox me! and keep in touch!!

all the best!

[BessieMae*candothis!]

Get to a hospital and tell them how you feel, that you want to take your own life. They will commit you and do a psych eval. You may need to be on some type of medication and THAT IS OK! You want to strive to feel better and the more you wallow in the panic and anxiety, the worse you will feel!!!

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya,

I am very sorry to hear you are feeling the way you are but on No More Panic one of our terms and conditions reads the following..

13) No More Panic is not equipped to deal with certain subjects and as such any posts/threads relating to these may be removed. The links section of No More Panic contains a wealth of links to other sites that may be able to help. These subjects include, but are not limited to

Threatening suicide, hinting you may attempt committing suicide, and describing attempts/methods. Members are free to post their worries about the subject.

Announcing to our members that you are going to commit suicide is not fair on our members (who you have to remember are going through similar thoughts and anxieties you are)

You pleaded for our members to help you, yet you then went straight offline after you had posted, again really not fair on our members who took the time to reply to you and offer you the help that you were asking for.

I am not going to remove your post but edit it and remove the suicide talk as I really think our members can help you and your post gives a lot of detail and it would be a shame for it all to be removed.

but please if you are feeling the way you say then you need to contact someone who can help you, go to the emergency room, we have a list of places that may be able to help you under this thread too http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=19303

I hope you get the help you need

Emmz

[sedohrrelyt]

How do you change your mindset though? I feel like I can't just stop too my thoughts of going mentally ill.. If I feel depressed or sad, I panic. If I feel awkward if I'm not worrying. I just don't know how to change my mind or thinking. My thoughts and feels are just so automatic and so fast.

[BessieMae*candothis!]

Realize the immense power you have to choose your attitude at any given moment. Each choice directs the course of your life. No one here knows some secret solution to changing your mindset, its all up to YOU. No one can do it for you.

---------- Post added at 21:18 ---------- Previous post was at 21:16 ----------

I find it hard to believe that you haven't been able to find someone to talk to (as far as therapist goes.) if you are desperate enough there are ways to get help, why not try telling your mom how you feel? There isn't much help for you unless you don't take the bull by the horns and DEMAND help!!!

---------- Post added at 21:20 ---------- Previous post was at 21:18 ----------

Even if that means going to the ER and telling them EXACTLY how you feel. Which I suggest you do sooner than later. They will help you and don't thing that just because they medicate, doesn't mean they don't care. You are CLEARLY in a hyper attentive state and need to be mellowed out so you can actual function. Mind needs rest or you won't get any better. Believe me I am SO against medication but have had to learn to let that go, some just need help. It's a chemical in-balance in the brain that can't be sorted out otherwise.

[sedohrrelyt]

I have told my mom. She wants me to push myself and to work through it. She wants me to get a job and force my way through this. She knows how severe I feel and how desperate so feel. I cry to her and my brother almost daily about how I'm feeling. My brother goes through it and gives me help but he never got as severe as I am. I don't have the money for the ER because I went there earlier this year because of a panic attack that lasted weeks and they let me go but sent me a 1000 dollar bill along with a 150 dollar copay. Plus I had to wait 3 or 4 hours to be seen. Everyone says that I just need to work through it and push myself but when I can't even wake up with no responsibilities and have panic and anxiety, how am I going to be able to work and stuff like that? I can barely go out with my friends or go out to eat or even just eat in general sometimes because of my throwing up fear. (The nausea feeling and throwing up send me into panic and triggers a lot of my epidoses which then goes from that fears that I'm going mentally ill.)

[Pipkin]

Hi there,

Sorry to see you're feeling so terrible. You're not on your own and many of us have been where you are now and got through it. It's hard for us Brits to understand that you can't get medical help because of the cost - is there no government help for times of emergency? It might be worth looking into.

I think a good starting point is sitting down with your mum and putting together a plan with some manageable goals and timescales. What about things like:

Some self-help books so that you start to get a better idea of what's going on inside your body - Claire Weekes is a favourite on this site. Her books may seem a little dated but the message is very sound.
Online CBT - the CBT4Panic programme here is free and very effective.
Planning small activities to push yourself a little more each day - short walks, meeting a friend in the park for 30 minutes, going to the shops with your mum. As you push yourself, things will get easier.
Ringing a free helpline and talking through how you feel.
Look at your diet and make sure you're eating healthily.

These are just some ideas but you will have more. They may seem impossible when you feel like you do but they're not. You'll gain more confidence as you start to realise that you can do things and that sitting at home worrying only makes you feel worse.

Good luck and take care

Pip x