Mell1988
06-07-04, 12:19
Hello,
I have been battling anxiety and depression for at least 2 years now related to my son (who is 2.5).
When he was born we had some health issues with him that took a while to resolve but at the time they were very worrying and I'm sure I was suffering from PND which didn't help!
Basically since then I am so anxious about him it's unbelievable. I am convinced he has some serious illness that has gone undetected, despite reassurances from several doctors and of course family members that he seems a fine and happy little boy. He even had a test for a chronic illness on my insistance even though the doctors didn't think it was a possibility which came back negative yet I am still being plagued by the thoughts that the test was wrong or that they have missed something.
However, despite the fact that I can see he is happy and doesn't act like a sick child - I have this horrible gut wrenching feeling that he may have something bad. It has got so bad that I have been looking on the internet for a long time now, searching for symptoms that he has (sometimes very loose symptoms) and as I'm sure you can all appreciate you can easily link from a relatively "innocent" symptom to a serious disease fairly quickly. This has exaggerated my anxiety so I am trying now not to use the internet for health issues for my son anymore as it seems pointless (I am hoping I can use it to help me which was what my doctor suggested as he said distraction would be the best way to handle this).
If I read something that reassures me on the internet I can't leave it alone at that, I just keep looking and I will eventually find something that upsets me and convince myself it's true and he is ill.
I am probably not explaining this well but to give you an example (if anyone is still reading!). If my son coughs for a while there could be many reasons -
1. Slight cold
2. Allergy (my son is very allergy prone)
3. Serious illness
4. Coughing because that's what kids do sometimes!
I will go for number 3 every time, and I make links between symptoms and serious illness even if that link may be very weak. My son as the usual illnesses as any other child but I just seem to overreact about the slightest thing, particularly if he displays a symptom that I can associate with a serious illness.
My doctor has been very supportive and has tried to get me to see that it is very easy to focus on small details and draw conclusions rather than look at the big picture (ie my son is full of energy and is happy doesn't seem enough to convince me).
I have been on Lustral (Sertraline) 2 times over the past 2 years and have just started a course again and I am determined this time to get it sorted once and for all. I try so hard not to show my anxiety when I am with my son (and also to keep everything else going such as a full-time job etc.) but it is so exhausting and all the time I have these horrible feelings of dread that the doctors have missed something and I will never forgive myself if it gets discovered years later.
It feels so horrible as I should be enjoying the time I have with him as none of us knows what's around the corner, I just can't seem to shake off these feelings.
Does this sound familiar ? I am going to try and register with a counsellor to see if that will help.
Thank you so much for still reading!!
I have been battling anxiety and depression for at least 2 years now related to my son (who is 2.5).
When he was born we had some health issues with him that took a while to resolve but at the time they were very worrying and I'm sure I was suffering from PND which didn't help!
Basically since then I am so anxious about him it's unbelievable. I am convinced he has some serious illness that has gone undetected, despite reassurances from several doctors and of course family members that he seems a fine and happy little boy. He even had a test for a chronic illness on my insistance even though the doctors didn't think it was a possibility which came back negative yet I am still being plagued by the thoughts that the test was wrong or that they have missed something.
However, despite the fact that I can see he is happy and doesn't act like a sick child - I have this horrible gut wrenching feeling that he may have something bad. It has got so bad that I have been looking on the internet for a long time now, searching for symptoms that he has (sometimes very loose symptoms) and as I'm sure you can all appreciate you can easily link from a relatively "innocent" symptom to a serious disease fairly quickly. This has exaggerated my anxiety so I am trying now not to use the internet for health issues for my son anymore as it seems pointless (I am hoping I can use it to help me which was what my doctor suggested as he said distraction would be the best way to handle this).
If I read something that reassures me on the internet I can't leave it alone at that, I just keep looking and I will eventually find something that upsets me and convince myself it's true and he is ill.
I am probably not explaining this well but to give you an example (if anyone is still reading!). If my son coughs for a while there could be many reasons -
1. Slight cold
2. Allergy (my son is very allergy prone)
3. Serious illness
4. Coughing because that's what kids do sometimes!
I will go for number 3 every time, and I make links between symptoms and serious illness even if that link may be very weak. My son as the usual illnesses as any other child but I just seem to overreact about the slightest thing, particularly if he displays a symptom that I can associate with a serious illness.
My doctor has been very supportive and has tried to get me to see that it is very easy to focus on small details and draw conclusions rather than look at the big picture (ie my son is full of energy and is happy doesn't seem enough to convince me).
I have been on Lustral (Sertraline) 2 times over the past 2 years and have just started a course again and I am determined this time to get it sorted once and for all. I try so hard not to show my anxiety when I am with my son (and also to keep everything else going such as a full-time job etc.) but it is so exhausting and all the time I have these horrible feelings of dread that the doctors have missed something and I will never forgive myself if it gets discovered years later.
It feels so horrible as I should be enjoying the time I have with him as none of us knows what's around the corner, I just can't seem to shake off these feelings.
Does this sound familiar ? I am going to try and register with a counsellor to see if that will help.
Thank you so much for still reading!!