vekiqf
20-09-13, 09:23
hello guys,
I have a fear of schiz for year now...I cant still relax a had good months and relapse 3 weeks ago. Main problem is that I am scared of paranoid type and cant convince myself that I dont have it...any irrational thought that pops on my mind I see as as symptom of it and I start obsessing. For example I know that paranoid people think that people/neighbours are against them so last night that thought poped on my mind after I read story about schiz guy in the papers and I cant remove that out of my head...I know that this is stupid and that they are not but why I have these thoughts. Also that guy killed some of he's colleagues and he told to cops that they were plotting him. I started to think what if I do that, what if I am like him, I am like him, I can do that after that I cant do that and cycle started...also I started to see myself in jail,hospital on meds like a zombie, that I will destroy my life, my wife's life, that she is married to psychotic guy etc
I was on CBT for few months and felt great from mid June than I stopped meds and schedule sessions for one month...My therapist is great guy with big experience especially with OCD but my problem is that I am scared to tell him now what I think that he will confirm that I am psychotic
I have a fear of schiz for year now...I cant still relax a had good months and relapse 3 weeks ago. Main problem is that I am scared of paranoid type and cant convince myself that I dont have it...any irrational thought that pops on my mind I see as as symptom of it and I start obsessing. For example I know that paranoid people think that people/neighbours are against them so last night that thought poped on my mind after I read story about schiz guy in the papers and I cant remove that out of my head...I know that this is stupid and that they are not but why I have these thoughts. Also that guy killed some of he's colleagues and he told to cops that they were plotting him. I started to think what if I do that, what if I am like him, I am like him, I can do that after that I cant do that and cycle started...also I started to see myself in jail,hospital on meds like a zombie, that I will destroy my life, my wife's life, that she is married to psychotic guy etc
I was on CBT for few months and felt great from mid June than I stopped meds and schedule sessions for one month...My therapist is great guy with big experience especially with OCD but my problem is that I am scared to tell him now what I think that he will confirm that I am psychotic