Decided nothing is going to work...

[JustJules]

Woke this morning - anxious as usual but it does seem to lessen as the day goes on. Fed up of trying to cope with this damn thing and I've come to the conclusion that I'm kidding myself that anything is going to work to get rid of this and that negative, pessamistic people will always be just that and no amount of therapy, positive thinking, mindfulness, hypnotherapy, CBT (total rubbish but the only panacea the NHS can come up with...) - you name it, I've tried it and I'm going round and round in circles and getting nowhere. Been on anti-depressants on and off for years and they aren't working anymore either.

All in all, stuck with who I am, what I am and will just have to try and accept that I'm always going to catastrohise every little symptom, live in fear every day of something being wrong with me and in between try and have some sort of a life. Everything frightens me and it is ridiculous. I want to go on holiday abroad and an't even fly as I have such a fear of flying so spoil the family holiday every year - this year, I didn't even go as I felt so ill.

I also now have to accept that if I do end up getting the dreaded big 'C' then I won't unfortunately, be one of these positive people who cope and will just curl up and give in and that frightens me more than anything. My fear of illness is now at phobic level and this is the worst I've ever been with my anxiety. I really admire people who get cancer and just get on with their lives and I feel so guilty for feeling like this but how can you change your basic personality? I've read enough to know that people who don't have a positive outlook don't survive, so that's me done.

I am managing to hold down a job at the moment after having a breakdown a few months ago but I'm about to be made redundant and I'm dreading the change to a new employment as I've had an easy ride here for the last 6 months. I need to work as my OH and I have separate bank accounts so being off is not an option.

Sorry for the rant - oh, woe is me - bad day. :weep:

[cattia]

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day. Sometimes accepting that anxiety is something that you will always have to live with is an important step in releasing the power it has over you. when I first had anxiety in my early twenties I spent a lot of time looking for a cure and trying different things. I was scared that it would take over the rest of my live. Now, 15 years in I believe that I will never be cured from anxiety, but I know that I can have long periods of remission and that I can learn to cope better with the bad times when they come. From where you are now it seems like your anxiety has never let up but I'm sure there have been some times when it hasn't been as bad and has been less disabling than other times. That is what you have to hang on to because that's the proof that it can improve and there will be better days weeks and months ahead. I believe that different things help different people, but ultimately there isn't a cure, it's about every individual finding their own way through it and finding the things that help them most. For me, CBT was little help because it never tackled the root of my anxiety. I have found meditation and relaxation more help than anything else really. I hope you find some peace of mind and tomorrow is a better day x

[xvolatileheart]

I'm pretty much at the point of feeling the same. All the little tips and tricks, therapies, etc seem to do nothing for me. The only thing I haven't tried is medication because either a) there is something physically wrong with me so it won't be of any help, or b) it won't work and then I'll truly believe that nothing will ever help me.

I'm feeling so low. How long have you been struggling with this?