Hi All

[moonspirit]

Hi Everyone

Didnt know where to post this really but i think it goes in here!

I have anxiety but i have got through the worst of it now with the help of my meds kicking in and lots of self discovery and most importantly the help of the chat room members who have given me lots of support and encouragement.

But i have found myself in a vicious circle, i suffer with a lot of severe pain which i have had before anxiety but im finding when im having a bad bout of pain i just cant deal with it in the same way as i could before. I have always managed to stay positive before but now i cant im finding myself thinking when is all of this going to stop am i ever going to get a good quality of life back again. I know its all the what ifs and i shouldnt do that but i cant help it because i feel i have no fight left in me and all i want is to just feel worthy of my existence again life is precious and im missing out with so much. Today im feel awful my back has locked and i cant straighten up this will probably last a few days so i know it will be a case of no choice but fill myself with painkillers and get through the best i can. Im just so sick and tired of pain and when im like this the anxiety gremlin seems to just take over.

Im also finding it very hard in my relationship i know im pushing my partner away but im finding it very hard dont get me wrong he is as understanding as he can be but i suppose unless you have gone through this its really hard to understand but im finding hes picking at me about little things, i have always been there to support him in everything but when i really need him to be here for me i just dont get it yes he says he will but he hasnt done anything and sometimes actions are louder than words. It would break my heart if we split up but im seriously questioning how i feel i know i love him but just not sure if im in love anymore.

I have so much going on in my life at the moment and i suppose im just looking for a way to break the vicious circle im in.

Thanks for reading and any advice would be really welcome:)

[Elen]

Hi Moon

Don't know what to say really honey but didn't want to read and run.

The pain and lack of sleep you have been experiencing must be so debilitating for you and you do so well keeping your spirits up.

Is there any chance of being referred to a pain clinic? They should be able to do something to help you.

Both you and your partner have been under incredible strain recently so it's not surprising that things are a bit tense.

Sorry if I am stating the obvious but is there any chance of the two of you sitting down and talking about things in a calm but honest manner?

No doubt will catch up with you in chat later.

tc honey, you can beat this

Elen xxx