kitty24
26-10-06, 21:16
Hi all - hope you are all feeling ok tonight.
Well i went to see a councellor on monday - have had a set back over the last 2 weeks - find that thoughts come and go through my mind but sometimes a few nasty ones get stuck and then manifest themselves into apsolute madness that i start getting panic attacks. It is such a vicious circle. Basically i was scared of myself and scared of what i would do/ could do/ with all if, what's and maybes of the world going through my mind. I was apsolutely terrified.
Anyway, it seems that my problems seem to stem from childhood - i never felt safe as a child and was always on the alert and anxious - this is now reflected in later life ALSO they seem to have arisen from 6 years of mental and emotional abuse from my ex partner. This is all starting to spill out now and especially at times of stress (too much in my rain barrel so it starts to overflow). My lack of confidence seems to be a big thing too.
Went to the doctors yesterday expecting to be put back on citalopram or be sectioned under the mental health act but instead she told me to rather go and have some AT (Transactional Analysis) with a psychotherapist.
I'm quite nervous and also sooo scared it won't work and i will be stuck like this for life but gonna give it a go and really work hard on it. Don't have the safety net of the tablets now and have to do it on my own which is really daunting.
Anyway, sorry it is so long but just wanted to share........
Well i went to see a councellor on monday - have had a set back over the last 2 weeks - find that thoughts come and go through my mind but sometimes a few nasty ones get stuck and then manifest themselves into apsolute madness that i start getting panic attacks. It is such a vicious circle. Basically i was scared of myself and scared of what i would do/ could do/ with all if, what's and maybes of the world going through my mind. I was apsolutely terrified.
Anyway, it seems that my problems seem to stem from childhood - i never felt safe as a child and was always on the alert and anxious - this is now reflected in later life ALSO they seem to have arisen from 6 years of mental and emotional abuse from my ex partner. This is all starting to spill out now and especially at times of stress (too much in my rain barrel so it starts to overflow). My lack of confidence seems to be a big thing too.
Went to the doctors yesterday expecting to be put back on citalopram or be sectioned under the mental health act but instead she told me to rather go and have some AT (Transactional Analysis) with a psychotherapist.
I'm quite nervous and also sooo scared it won't work and i will be stuck like this for life but gonna give it a go and really work hard on it. Don't have the safety net of the tablets now and have to do it on my own which is really daunting.
Anyway, sorry it is so long but just wanted to share........