Please someone help me through this wkend.

[RATFINK]

Hi all. Not been on these sites for a while don't no why?? I need help to see sense through this stupid worry. I,m worrying about when I was 17 I was in a pub cold outside me and this girl fancied going upstairs of the pub. As it happened I ended up with a jumper don't no why. Ended up with it at home. When I heard this bloke was peed off. Naturally obviously. Years later in a pub this guy I new anyhow was talking about his top going missing and him blaming his mates.. It was funny story from him. I just told him sorry it was me. We all laughed joking in all that. And that was years ago. Nèver once bothered me why should it. But all because I had s thought because he brings it up every time I go out. No malice in it. But my fear all this wk is what if he brings it up when I,m out on Sunday, everyone calling me theif everyone at me taking his side. Me getting worked up and then loosing it. Loads of thoughts racing through my head of solutions of what I,d say. Just pure panic of how I,m going to react now when he brings it up.sorry for long post.

---------- Post added at 21:26 ---------- Previous post was at 20:12 ----------

I can't see commen sense in it. Like do what if he goes on about again. It's s bit like if you don't want s thought you don't like you will end up looking for it. I,m just panicking like mad I need bringing back down yo earth please help.

[RATFINK]

Noticed 60 people have read this but no reply.

[debs71]

Hi Ratfink,

The thing you need to try to ask yourself is 'are they gonna dwell on that incident and it be as big a deal for them as it is for you?', and I would bet a lot of money that the answer is no.

When we are anxious we tend to blow up the smallest things into something really big, like it is a huge issue, when in fact for anyone else it is no big deal, or just a laugh, and in this situation that is what it is.

You took the jumper mistakenly, which is something anyone could do, and one of them could have done the same, it just happened to you. That is no reflection on you as being 'a thief' as you think they will think. They didn't think that before when you laughed about it all, and they sure as hell don't think it now, I assure you.

It is just a stupid thing they can bring up to poke fun about, and try to just see it as that. A stupid thing that any of us could have happen to, it is just your anxiety is blowing it up into something awful.

It isn't.

Also, don't make up in your head what may or may not happen. When we are anxious we look on the negative and see things happening before they actually do, and then they actually DON'T happen like that at all. Speculating what will happen is a waste of time and energy, and a lot of worry. I've been there a million times over, and nine times out often it never happens how I think it will.

To be honest, if they bring up the jumper thing it is a bit ridiculous anyway. They really need to get over it, and if it is mentioned just laugh it off with them. Try if you can just to see it as a silly thing that happened, and something that does not make you a bad person in any way....just human like them and all of us. :hugs:

[RATFINK]

Thank you so much for your reply means a lot. I,m out today do dlightly nervous thinking of the worst. But that is my brain overreacting again thinking of the worst. Like you said just laugh it off. If other way around I,d propably do the same. Bring it up when drunk because it was funny. I,m to sensitive basically.

[debs71]

It is hard not to be overly sensitive when we are prone to anxiety. It is so easy to work ourselves into a right stew about something that nobody else gives a toss about. Try not to think what YOU think about it, but just remind yourself that it is just something they can poke fun about...nothing important.

[RATFINK]

Thanks again for your reply I,ve just read it again. Just seeing it or hearing is all it needs because when in this bad circle of worry it's almost like your blind. I,m worrying about something new this weak, that's how it works for me. Just started setraline today and soon I will be going on some more cbt. Thanks again. Brian