Please help with my fear of choking on food.

[dancingfrog]

Hi there, so I haven't been here for a while, thought I was getting better with my anxiety but at the moment I am at my wits end. Since I was young I have had a severe fear of choking on food, anything solid. I am obsessed with the size of food that goes into my mouth and chew a ridiculous amount of times before I swallow. This is when I'm not anxious. Anyway this fear subsided until recently when I though I was choking ( I wasn't ) and hey presto my panic attacks came back and now I can't eat solid foods for fear that I will choke and die. When I had this at a younger age it went away after a few years but now I'm sure it will stay. I'm beginning to get scared of eating mushy things. I can't afford to lose weight as I'm already thin and am worried that I am not getting enough calories in a liquid diet. Having read the dreaded google I'm clued up on high risk choking foods and even know how to give myself the heimlick. Can anyone suggest a way to get through this, or their own experiences. Are there any calorific liquid foods I can eat until I can get help? I'm scared to go the doctors as I have never mentioned this to them. I have hid this from my fiancé for seven years until today, he told me to just eat mushy stuff, I'm not quite sure he understands my fears. I want to eat I love food but it's a lose lose situation, eat and risk dying or not eat and risk dying.

[shakey1961]

How did this fear start? I'm presuming you had a bad experience as a child. I don't think this will be an uncommon phobia, but I do think you need proper help.

Your doctor will not be shocked one bit, in fact he/she will probably have wanted you to come sooner. They might even send you for some tests to see if you have a problem in your throat or see if it's slightly smaller than a normal persons. It's probably just the same as everyone else.

How many people are eating right now? Billions! How many are choking a few but that's about normal. You hear horror stories on the TV and Internet about people choking badly, but you need to get that into perspective.

Only last night I had a handful of crisps and didn't chew them properly and one scratched the back of my throat, it's been sore all day.

Chewing your food like you do makes the risk of choking almost non-existent for you.

Do go and seek some help from your GP though.

Best if Luck

[dancingfrog]

Thanks for your help. I know when it started, I don't know if I was actually choking or thinking I was choking when I was little. Since then it has come and gone but now it's horrendous! For my tea tonight I had about two tablespoons of gravy and mash potato. Earlier on in the week I was ok, then if read horror stories on the internet and know it will happen to me. Now I'm convinced you can choke to death on mash. I don't want to go to the doctor because just this week I went saying how can I put on weight, I didn't mention the fear. I'm thinking of booking a private cbt session. Do I need to see the doctor before though. Any ideas which can help me in the mean time. Foods that are safe. I'm so hungry and need to eat. I'm only 6st 11 so can't afford to lose weight I would love to be heavier. My partner is trying to reassure me that you can't choke on mash, but I don't want to eat this forever. I have a lot of other issues but I have never seemed professional help!

---------- Post added at 21:16 ---------- Previous post was at 21:14 ----------

I also need to add that before I would put food in my mouth in small pieces and chew until mush. Now I'm afraid to put small pieces in incase they slip and I choke. I even chew mash and yogurt without realising. Does anyone have any high calorie liquid soft foods they can advise to get me through the weekend before I can see someone ?

[shakey1961]

I think you need to go back to your doctor and tell him the truth. In fact, why don't you write a letter to him explaining your situation. That way you won't have to tell him face to face. Don't be frightened of your GP, they've heard it all before and a lot more weird than your problem.

I know what I'll do, I have a friend who is a GP's wife and used to be a GP herself so I will email her, and ask her for advice.

Secondly, can you drink milk? At least if you can get that in you it's better than nothing. As daft and way-out as it sounds would you be able to try some of these build-up drinks? I'm thinking of protein shakes that bodybuilders use. Now they're NOT full of steroids, just natural vitamins and protein. It's getting something nutritious into you, even if it's not food. They can be expensive, but it's an alternative just as a stop gap.

I've just done a search on the internet and a choking phobia seems very common, so your doctor won't be surprised one bit.

Go and get help - call on Monday morning!!

Try reading this if it helps

http://www.emdr.nl/acrobat/JB.pdf

[dancingfrog]

Thanks shakey for your help, I don't like milk but I am now going to drink it to get some nutrients in. I will eat yogurt and tomorrow I am going to force myself to eat some porridge and mashed banana, although I read that you can choke on mashed banana so now I'm put off. I've just completely broke down in front of my other half. I think I kinda scared him and he couldn't fathom why I couldn't eat and risk dying or eat and risk dying. How safe do you think eating some tuna flakes with Mayo will be. I know this contains a lot of calories and protein. I'm going to the supermarket tomorrow to get some safe foods. I really fear the doctor she knows I have anxiety issues but not this extreme. It's hard because if someone tells me no you won't choke I know I can, even though it's mash or some thing soft. I did just manage to nibble a chocolate bar. How I got over this as a child by myself is crazy. I know I need to eat but I won't because I know I can choke. This all stems from my fear of dying, which all my anxiety issues come from. Do you think it's likely I can get some cbt or something. When I was having another anxiety issue last year related to fear of breast cancer e specialist I went to see said that just after conversing with him he knew I had a psychological problem and should see a therapist but I never told me doctor. Now this has popped up and it's ridiculous. I'm sitting here now not letting my partner at mnms incase he chokes. I am a google freak and now can memorise risk foods. I've researched everything and clearly this makes me worse. Thanks again for someone to talk to I have calmed down a lot, I was shaking uncontrollably just.

[suki300]

I'd say the biggest problem is that you're simply not getting enough calories or nutrients.

It's late Saturday now - but I'd get straight down to the doctors on monday and tell him your problem. It's essential you eat enough and I think they will take your problem very seriously, not only because it is a fear, but because it's causing you not to eat.

For now - protein shakes are probably helpful, could you manage soup - heinz tomato - not the most nutritional, but it is very smooth.

You can buy baby food puree maker, which means you could eat normal food pureed into a texture you can cope with and this might sound daft but jars of baby food, or stewing apple so that it has no lumps might be an alternative for now. Also if you can, you're doing the little - how about the often? That might at least give you some more calories in the day. 2 tablespoons is way too low.

[dancingfrog]

Thanks for the reply, I ate normally this morning, well normal amounts of mushy foods, I even ate two biscuits. Yes I can eat soup, anything watery, fine with yogurts, ice cream chocolate etc but I had a big problem with the mash today for some reason but when I added gravy I was fine. All I want to know is that I can eat say tuna and mayo and not choke to death. Reassurance is what I need. If I knew that I couldn't choke I would eat. This is really annoying me. I fancied some hash browns but now can't bring myself to have them as I could choke. If I knew what the maximum size of food was to not choke I would cut it up to that size and then eat. Are there any mushy foods I can eat which are safe, I'm thinking if I still eat mushy foods it will be easier to go back to solids. Is rice safe to eat?

---------- Post added at 23:28 ---------- Previous post was at 23:26 ----------

The often bit I'm ok with, it's just bringing my mind around to idea that I won't die whilst eating it, that's why at the moment until I can get to the doctors I want to eat something that will keep me going. My doctors are rubbish and I might not get an appointment on Monday. I'm terrified of losing weight but at the moment this does not outweigh my fear of choking on food. I can't win!

[suki300]

Okay, I have worked with all sorts of people who are at risk of choking. Some couldn't eat at all and were fed straight through the stomach. A speech therapist would decide how much the food needed to be blended or so on for the ones who could eat, but this was because they didn't have the reflexes to manage their food with lumps. The idea was to go with the most they could manage so they got the best experience. But these were higher risk and I never saw any of them choking. In fact it was more that the food would get into the airways and set off pnemonia than actual choking and only because they couldn't physically cough the food out like you or I naturally would.

Some would have to have the food completed blended, some could have partially lumpy food, but not things like beans, because of the skins. However, with people like stroke patients as they got stronger they would eat normally.

Chewing your food properly is a good thing for the digestion, you will mush it down and produce more salivia to help it go down smoothly. i heard 20 times was a good guide per mouthful (don't know how true this is). rather than concentrating on how smooth the food before you eat it, would it help to focus on this instead. Our bodies are designed to cope if something goes wrong, which is why we have the cough reflex. I know it does occasionally happen, but as an adult your risk is so miniscule and because you are concentrating on not choking, it's probably even less likely to happen.

[dancingfrog]

I'm lying In bed now determined to get up in the morning to eat. Like my partner said eating is natural. I think tomorrow for breakfast I'm going to try to eat two scrambled eggs, are they safe? Then I will continue from there I know I can chew foods and if it's tiny in the first place and then chewed then I should be fine, then it's just the problem of getting my bloody body to swallow it. Everyone around me things it's ridiculous. Do you mind telling he how you don't fear choking as opposed to me? Thanks so much for this.

[suki300]

Scrambled eggs would be an excellent idea. Why doesn't it affect me? I guess we focus on something when the anxiety takes hold and we make it into this huge thing and for me currently my worst fear would be flying.

There are lots of things people fear on here and they are all different (some are more common than others). Some are convinced they have cancer, some are scared of leaving their homes, some have a fear of toilets, but what we all have in common is that we focus on one (or two) particular things and for example I don't worry about cancer, or toilets, or choking but try and get me on a plane.

I think I wouldn't challenge yourself this weekend and put yourself under anymore stress than you are. Eat what you can cope with, eat however much of it you can manage and don't feel bad or guilty, just try and get some calories in whether it be with ice cream, or eggs, or soup. But if you think you can try the hash browns, with tomato ketchup - chew them and enjoy them. Don't beat yourself up though it you can't - this isn't just you being daft. Let the doctor help you.

Make an appointment and if they ask if it's an emergency or if you need to see someone straight away - say yes! Like suggested before write it down first - even write what you've eaten like a food diary (from what you can remember) and tell the doctor how concerned you are and how much fear of choking is affecting your life. They should take it seriously.

Trying to control something like this is very difficult because of our thought patterns, why do I not worry about it - because I eat so often (all the time) and it just hasn't happened (apart from once when I was very stoned and I was fine) and that's how most people view it. But then I can't get on a plane - same thought patterns - different fear :)

just to add - ignore whether people think it's ridiculous - they obviously have very little understanding. It's not, this is why there is the help out there, they wouldn't have the services if things like this were just people being silly.

[dancingfrog]

Thanks Suki, I'm going to try the eggs in a bit and see how I get on, woke up this morning feeling a little better, I'm not going to die in small pieces or soft foods sans mush, I think I might try and eat a banana after my eggs too when my partner is around. I've got to reassure myself, if I chew it lots I will be fine!

[shakey1961]

I suppose I have a fear of water. I can drink loads of it, bath, wash, shave I'm all fine, BUT if I accidently get any splashed on my face round the nose area or if I have a bucket of cold water / hope pipe thrown at me in a playful manner I get quite panicky.

It all stems from when I was about 8yo. At the primary school I was at they had a swimming pool built. One day I got into the pool and walked around the left side holding on for dear life. I got about two thirds along when I slipped and went under. I can remember feeling like I was going round and round doing somersaults until the teacher came and grabbed me by my trunks and fished me out. That was 44 years ago and I can still remember it as if it happened 10 seconds ago! Until a few years ago I couldn't take a shower as the water on my chest would make me gasp for air, but I told myself to calm down. I'm ok with that now, but still prefer a nice hot bath!

However, it doesn't affect my life. I can go to the sea (I live on the coast), not too happy on boats but that's cos I don't like them rocking I don't think the ship will sink.

I suppose avoiding water is not as difficult as a fear of choking, but you do need to get help. You know you don't want to be like this.

Here's an idea. How about you make a picnic of some foods you can eat and some you have just a little difficulty with. Do you have a car? If so take your picnic and go and park very close to or in the grounds of your local hospital that has an A&E department. Yes you get the idea. If in the very unlikely event that you choke you'll be close at hand to get help.

As long as you chew your food properly, which I know you do, you won't choke.

I think because you are really aware that you might choke you're brain and thought are affecting your throat and maybe making it feel like it's going to close. It's just anxiety and when you learn to relax that feeling will go away.

Would it help to just put food items in your mouth to get a feel for the size and texture? Put them in leave them there, you don't have to swallow. Even put your head forward so there's no chance of the food going towards your throat. If you fell like you will choke all you have to do is open your mouth and gravity will make it fall out.

One day we'll meet and we can celebrate by going out for a meal!! How's that for a goal! But one step at a time first.

I never did learn to swim!!! LOL

You've made the first step by telling us. Acknowledging the problem is the first step to recovery.

Tell us how you get on today.

May I suggest you avoid a banana unless you've coped with it before. Do you mash it up into a bowl? If so then that sounds ok, but I find eating a whole banana from the skin make me want to gag. If you find it ok then do it. Please don't worry about what I said - I wouldn't want you to cut out another food you are fine with just because of my comments.

[dancingfrog]

Just managed to eat a banana. Yay onwards and upwards, will let you know how I get in with my eggs later, hopefully I will be ok!

[shakey1961]

Go for it - have another one!! Eat a whole banana tree today!! Then you might be stuck in the bathroom on the loo LOL!!!

You said you had a fear of choking to death - that is extremely rare!

Lets analyse it. You eat soft food, so that is very unlikely to get stuck. You're body is built in such a way that if something "went down the wrong way" you would cough violently to move the food out of harms way.

You body is built to survive and it will do everything in its power to not let you die.

I didn't know until recently that fainting is your bodies way of getting blood back to the brain. So if the brain gets less blood, your brain makes you faint, sends you onto the floor, blood comes back to the brain and you're recovering.

Bodies are wonderful things - it's amazing what they can be made to do. Even with you not eating it's not just given up on you, but it needs feeding.

Go for it girl! LOL

[dancingfrog]

Thanks for your help Shakey, will you let me know if your friend gets back to you, I want to try and relax before I eat but I don't know any techniques. I feel very sick this morning, this is due to my anxiety and I'm shaking again. My partner is at work later so I feel I won't be able to eat unless he is here which is worrying me a lot. I'm proud of myself for eating the banana, now my mind is worrying whether of not I can eat breakfast. Terrified of ringing the doctors tomorrow too!

[shakey1961]

I've sent you a private message

[dancingfrog]

I have replied Shakey! X

[lindadiana]

i know these are old posts,but fear of choking is still around,i have had this as far as i can remember,its worse now than it has ever been,ive even told therapists they are no help,i know mine is caused though fear of choking,its been going on for over 50 years,but im different,i cannot eat at all if anyone is with me,i gag all the time,i try to elax while eating by listening to films i know all the script to,you cant talk in your head words while saying i might choke,but its really hard i still gag often,the only meat i ever eat is tiny amounts of chicken,tiny portions of anything come to that,its a horrible fear to have,it ruins a big part of my life thats for sure

[straylight]

Do you own a juicer or food liquidizer? Could you potentially take something you like and blitz it in the juicer until it's a liquid? I'm sure there are otherwise tough foods you could reduce to a paste that way. You could also try energy gels that they make for cyclists. I find them absolutely revolting, but there's not even anything you could chew in them.

I'm only suggesting these as a stop-gap measure until you see a counsellor. I wouldn't like to suggest something that's just papering over the cracks.

One thing I try to do phobia-wise is to do something that scares me, then keep doing it and keep doing it until I find it boring. Once it's boring it's not scary. Maybe if you ate something like mash until you grew bored of it, it'll help you move on to something slightly more solid?

[Sam Winter]

I know this is a really old thread but came across it while searching through the internet so i thought why not reply :roflmao: choking is a very common fear and defo still around, i've had it since i was about 8 actually, although i've had choking episodes since i was like 4 but was more careless back then lol i've had a few near choking episodes(not extreme ones) but simple ones like some chocolate curl cereal going down slowly when i was 4. steak going down slowly when i was like 7, a soft cheese sandwich (you guessed it) going down slowly when i was 10, i've not had any other episodes apart from yesterday when some peanuts went down slow but i'm still here to tell the tale! x. i guess mine came when i swallowed chicken drummers and curry chips wrong as a child, i've since got over it about 3 times but always relapse which is most frustrating, i'd guess my reflux makes its worse because i always get horrid sensations after eating just once and it will last the rest of the day, i'm not currently doing great but defo still better than i used to(although i'm close to going back to my non eating ways) i rely on a protein shake everyday to get my vitamins in, horlicks are also helpful for that, i'm really just quite frustrated because it's ruining my life and the plans i have, i just sat there and couldn't even eat baked beans, i tried one bean at a time so i still feared i was going to choke its silly and quite sad and i'm almost at the point of just giving up x