Cancelling holidays because of anxiety?

[jayjoe18]

Has anyone ever done this?

I have a dilemma and I really don't know what to do (it's about a booked holiday that I've been asking for help over in previous threads)

I'm wondering what I should do;

1. Book to go on the holiday with family before the plane books up. This way atleast I still have a choice whether to go or not when the time comes. But, if I don't go, I'll lose the money. Do you think I should do this? I know it's not ideal.

2. Not book and then run the risk of regretting it and having a horrible experience staying home alone for the week (and I would be totally alone).

The plan is to try get on medication as soon as possible, but obviously nobody knows how they will work on me and how I'll feel come Feb when the holiday is booked. I could be much better and able to tackle it or not be able to go still. I might be ok staying home or I might not be able to cope. I just don't really know what to do.

So, do you think it's a good idea to just book it and see how I feel come the time? And if I truly can't do it, I'll just have to cancel and lose the money???

ETA: I'm so sorry for clogging up the forums with this, I know I'm being annoying but I'm really in a bad place right now and really need some help. Thanks for reading x

[DaisyPolly]

Hi there,

My thoughts are go ahead and book the holiday!

If you intend to get help for your anxiety in the form of medication I'm sure you will feel so much better by February and then you would be missing out on a family holiday.

Maybe if you take out holiday insurance when you book it would cover you in the event of you not being able to go but I suspect you would need to be under a doctor. Not sure if I'm right there so check it out.

Get to the Drs as soon as possible and hopefully you'll be on the road to recovery.

Good luck

[lizzie29]

I say book it! It might be just the push you need, and will give you something to aim towards. What is it that would worry you about going away? You could then find a halfway stage to that fear and try to have become less scared about that by November or December. Give yourself small steps to work towards.

[debs71]

Hi jayjoe18,

I can totally relate to your fears. I in fact failed to go on holiday as planned last Friday due to back pain all mixed up with anxiety. I lost money on the outward flight, was able to change the dates on the accommodation (which was pay on arrival, but will now cost me more due to seasonal changes in cost) and was able to change the return flight (at a cost again) I am now aiming to go (WILL GO come hell or high water) on November 1st.

I feel like I let myself down and quite angry with myself actually. My head was full of worries like 'how am I gonna lift my case with a bad back?' 'what if I am unwell on the plane? Anxiety, anxiety, bloody anxiety!!

The trouble with prospective events like a holiday is we are our own worst enemies with talking ourselves out of it. We make up a load of 'what if's?' in our own heads, and all that does is increase the anxiety, like 'what if I can't do it?, what if I panic mid-flight? What if I feel unwell when I'm there?', etc, etc. and the bottom line is we don't really know, and all we are doing is willing that to happen and getting more anxious about it.

Anticipation is far, far worse than the actual thing. This is the first holiday I have cancelled in many, many years with anxiety. I went away in May, and that time I fel physically sick and panicky minutes before getting in the taxi to the airport, but once I was in that taxi and arrived at the airport, I felt totally fine. It was purely the thought of it all that was driving the anxiety.

My advice would be to book it. Try not to have in your mind 'well, i am probably not gonna go and lose money.' Tell yourself you WILL go'.....no negatives. Negatives just fuel the anxiety. Imagine the satisfaction you will feel when you find you ARE able to achieve your trip.:hugs:

[sofaboy]

definitely book it. you will regret not going and letting the anxiety get the better of you and stop you doing what you want to do.

you will have the support of your family whilst your traveling and to help you while on holiday. far better that, than being at home on your own.

also think of the sense of achievement you'll get when you've been (as well as the benefits of the holiday)

[mikejames]

HI JAYJOE

All I can say is go with your head ..............if you have read my recent posts then you will understand

I had the worst nightmare of my life ..will I go on holiday again .....YES because this is and will not beat me and I am stronger now for getting through it


Get some meds from your GP and if it all becomes too much say sod it .........what's money anyway apart from the root of all evil

But I bet my bottom dollar you will be fine and come back stronger more positive and have a real sense of achievement

Up to you but go for it ............


PM me if you want a chat

Mikey

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Annie0904]

Feel the Fear and do it anyway :) I am on holiday now. I was really anxious in the weeks leading up to it, cried when the plane took off but I am here now and enjoying it :)

[jayjoe18]

Just wanted to thank you all so much for your posts, it helped me like you wouldn't believe!!!!!!!

Also, sorry for the delay in reply but it's been quite a stressful time as you can imagine! I think from everyone's replies it was an unanimous yes to book the holiday........ and I did!

I'm still terrified, but somehow I feel calmer, I think maybe it's because now atleast I have the option to go or not. It would be rubbish to lose all that money but it's just money, and my health and happiness is far more important to me.

I'm off to the doctors on Tuesday for medication, again I'm petrified but this holiday has given me a wake up call and that push to start recovery. I realise that the world isn't going to stop for me, my family won't put their lives on hold for me. I need to take control and get better and I need to rebuild my life (oh how I wish I had a magic wand!)

I also have the option to go back to CBT next week, which I'm unsure about, everything is happening all at once.... if I think too much about it all I think I'd have a breakdown!

So, for now I'm putting the holiday out of my mind and taking everything one step at a time.

Thanks again, honestly you have all really helped so much xxx

[Annie0904]

Really pleased you have booked the holiday, yes putting it out of your mind is a good idea for now but when you do think about it, visualise yourself having a good time there with your family.

[jayjoe18]

Really pleased you have booked the holiday, yes putting it out of your mind is a good idea for now but when you do think about it, visualise yourself having a good time there with your family.

Thanks Annie :) I'm trying to think about positives, I've bought swimwear to be prepared... I'm trying to visualise it being good, being calm... it's hard though the scary thoughts do keep coming in. Mostly it's the flight... 10hrs is such a long time.. I don't even know how to deal with that yet. The longest I've been is about 8hrs and that was also whilst I had bad anxiety so I'm just trying to remember how well I managed that which is giving me some hope. The other thing is that my mum's friend is going, which makes me feel uncomfortable but again I need to face these things.. hopefully I'll be able to keep myself to myself if I feel I need to.

How was your holiday anyway Annie? It's brilliant that you managed to get there despite being so scared x

[Fishmanpa]

I posted this on another thread but it's relevant here.

In life, I regret the things I didn't do more than the things I did. Go for it! Life is too short to give in to fear.

Good Luck!

[jayjoe18]

I posted this on another thread but it's relevant here.

In life, I regret the things I didn't do more than the things I did. Go for it! Life is too short to give in to fear.

Good Luck!

I love this, thank you very much Fishmanpa :yesyes:

[NE21 worrier]

Glad to hear you've decided to go on holiday after all. I'm not sure exactly how much rain you'll get in Cancun but make sure you dance in it if there's any.

I love that quote, by the way, although I'm not sure where it's from. :)

[Munki]

I just saw this and it resonates greatly. I make plans in the distance then dread them as they approach. Its not due to being socially awkward or introverted, it's purely this 'DREAD' of who knows what! I too have had many issues with this. Anyway, as someone above said, stick with it as the anticipation is FAR greater than the event. You'll be really glad that you did :)

I do appreciate, however, that the build up isn't as blaze as the line I wrote above...it's hellish. Talk, write about it and exercise during these times as it all helps :)
xxx

[Tanner40]

JayJoe, I have had the same situation come up recently, regarding taking a holiday. I went and had a great time. I sat down in advance and listed all of the things that I was worried about and came up with a game plan to combat those thoughts and feeling. It might be helpful to read a post I wrote in November about my trip to Atlanta.

[Katie_cupcakes]

Yay :) go for it!

I cancelled a trip to Africa because of anxiety and I have really really regretted it ever since! Absolutely gutted I didn't go :( ... But I've realised now not to let anxiety ruin my life. Its tough, but I just have to force myself to do things that scare me!

Hope you have a great holiday

[jayjoe18]

Thanks guys for your posts, I'm so glad this thread has been resurrected, I'm really struggling at the moment, it's only a month away now (today actually) and I'm growing ever more anxious, I am PETRIFIED!!!!!

The main things that are concerning me are the long flight, being away from home/getting ill, having to eat out, needing the toilet away from home and being in the company of others for the week (my mum's friend and daughter are coming!)

Since posting this I have started medication, now on week 10. It's helping but not enough to keep me calm about this holiday. I'm only on 5mg and debating going up to 10mg for the next month leading up to the holiday, would this help I wonder?

I'm just so stressed, everyone else is excited and that's one of the many things I miss, feeling excitement. It's just always replaced with fear and anticipation, it's awful :(

---------- Post added at 17:29 ---------- Previous post was at 17:22 ----------


Yay :) go for it!

I cancelled a trip to Africa because of anxiety and I have really really regretted it ever since! Absolutely gutted I didn't go :( ... But I've realised now not to let anxiety ruin my life. Its tough, but I just have to force myself to do things that scare me!

Hope you have a great holiday

Aww sorry to hear that, hope you manage to get there in the future, damn anxiety! :(


JayJoe, I have had the same situation come up recently, regarding taking a holiday. I went and had a great time. I sat down in advance and listed all of the things that I was worried about and came up with a game plan to combat those thoughts and feeling. It might be helpful to read a post I wrote in November about my trip to Atlanta.

Wow that's brilliant Tanner, glad to hear you managed to get there and have a good time, I've technically been to Atlanta (accidentally as we missed a flight and had to fly there for the night, oops!) it looked nice from what I saw. That's a good idea, I listed mine above just don't know how to get round them!


I just saw this and it resonates greatly. I make plans in the distance then dread them as they approach. Its not due to being socially awkward or introverted, it's purely this 'DREAD' of who knows what! I too have had many issues with this. Anyway, as someone above said, stick with it as the anticipation is FAR greater than the event. You'll be really glad that you did :)

I do appreciate, however, that the build up isn't as blaze as the line I wrote above...it's hellish. Talk, write about it and exercise during these times as it all helps :)
xxx

Thanks Munki :hugs:I get the dread feeling too, even though I don't always know what I'm dreading, it's just there, I hate it! I hate the anticipation too, many times it's been to much and I've cancelled so many plans. I wish there was a long term way to overcome it but it just doesn't seem to go away!


Glad to hear you've decided to go on holiday after all. I'm not sure exactly how much rain you'll get in Cancun but make sure you dance in it if there's any.

I love that quote, by the way, although I'm not sure where it's from. :)

Well apparently it's rainy season at the moment so I may just get to, that's if I get there in the first place which is looking highly doubtful!

I don't know where it's from either but I love it :)

[Ange1]

I'm the same and have almost not gone on holiday twice literally at the point of departure. I'm so glad I managed with huge effort to go as. I really enjoyed it both times and had a lovely relaxing time. Great therapy.:) x