Stomach putting me through the wringer today

[NE21 worrier]

Hello,

Just a post to moan about the fact that I've felt rotten all day. It started shortly after I woke up this morning with the usual tightness under the rib cage (solar plexus?) an resulted in me throwing up what I assume was stomach acid and yellow bile (TMI?).

I'm trying to eat little and often but nothing seems to be settling well on my poorly tummy, and I feel as if I have no energy at all. I do have a hiatal hernia and I do get acid reflux, though this is only usually a major problem if I am feeling particularly anxious over something. This morning's rather dramatic bathroom visit came as a bit of a shock but I was able then just to get on with my day.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not in a complete panic over this as I have had worse before and survived. I'm just sick, literally, of feeling like this - and even worse considering I have made some good progress recently.

Morning anxiety still haunts me regularly, however - I feel as if I have to convince myself continually that I can go to work and do a good job (even though I am generally ok when I am there)...

Thanks,
Peter

[daisydaisy]

Hey Peter,

I'm sorry you're not feeling so great. I don't have a hernia myself but I do suffer with terrible acid reflux at times (partly due to some new medication I think) but I can't take any traditional antacid type remedies as they conflict with the medication. I tried some of what they call liquid chlorophyll as a friend of mine recommended it as she is a seller via Nature's Sunshine- possibly Holland and Barrett may sell it too but I'm not sure. I think some may take it daily however I have just had the occasional glass from time to time. I also like pure green tea or a mint/chamomile tea for natural relief.

Aside from this would it be worth seeing your GP to see of there is anything else out there to help with the physical side?

I think the morning anxiety takes time. Just think back though and look how well you are doing now and the fact that you're feeling the fear and doing things anyways, like trips and holidays too. Have you tried any CBT or mindfulness techniques for the morning anxiety?

Take Care
Daisy

[nosweat]

I read that drinking a tablespoon of vinegar helps with heartburn.

[NE21 worrier]

Gah, I've put off eating any dinner until now. Trying to eat some sausages now but I'm feeling really bizarre, and still got the feeling in the pit of my stomach. Almost feel on the verge of breaking down, panic etc. :sad:

I think my anxiety relates to my job - we're getting a lot of tough calls at the moment and I'm totally struggling with my self-belief despite a good result in my mid-year review which posted about in the Success section. That evidence seems to count for nothing... why?

[daisydaisy]

Hey Peter, So sorry you've had a rough evening. I really hope you've managed to have something to eat. Do you think it's more anxiety related in the stomach as opposed to the acid reflux? I know it all goes hand in hand but I know when I am at my most anxious I can't eat so sometimes the acid reflux gets worse because my stomach is empty and so on. Can you have some milk or hot water as above? As long as you are keeping hydrated hopefully when you are feeling ok to eat again you can try something else. You've got to keep your strength up.

You've got to believe in yourself Peter as I know you've had such a tough time but you ARE doing well! I think it could be disbelief- if you have been being hard on yourself perhaps it was hard to accept the praise but you should congratulate yourself because you're back at work and you really are doing well- the paperwork says so!

Are you still on a phased return or reduced hours or are you back to full hours? Do you think its worth raising your concerns to a line manager or a senior to say how stressful or difficult you have been finding some of your calls? Is there any training or any support you can have in that respect or would you rather not do that? Just trying to think of some solutions for you. If not would you feel up to changing roles or looking around for something else you feel you may enjoy more?

Daisy :hugs:

[NE21 worrier]

Hello Daisy,

Yes, I definitely think it's more anxiety-related in the stomach than acid reflux, as there have been times just recently when I have not been anxious and I've felt absolutely fine.

We're going through an office change at work, in the new office from next week, and with this coming at the same time as the mid-years - as well as the stressful calls - there are quite a few contributory factors. I think I am going to have to mention something to managers if this persists.

Today, I've woken up exactly the same pit of the stomach feeling - I've also had five hours sleep only and I'm in work 11.30-8pm. It's going to be a long day, I feel like I'm in purgatory and, while I did manage my sausages last night, my digestive systems seems to have entirely shut itself down.

This is one hell of a relapse :sad:

Peter

[daisydaisy]

Hey Peter,

Sorry it's taken me a while to reply. I really hope things have settled a bit for you.

Did you get to have a talk with your managers or colleagues about how you're feeling?

I hope that you can see that it's just a blip which has probably been brought about by all the stress it seems you have been under at work. Don't beat yourself up too much, things will get better for you.

:hugs:

[NE21 worrier]

Hello Daisy (and any other readers),

Sorry it has also taken me a while to reply again but generally that should be taken as a positive sign as it means I have just got on with things.

Anxiety has certainly played a much smaller part in my life over the past week, though I was glad to have a pre-arranged session with my therapist before that 11.30-8 shift as, having spoken to my mum shortly after my post, I actually realised the reason for the anxiety.

It's a bit of an excuse but everything at work meant that I really had made zero progress in terms of changing my behaviour at home since my last session with the therapist, and it was guilt which was driving the anxiety.

My core belief centres around a feeling that I just will not cope in situation 'x' and, in practical terms, I have realised that much of this is driven by the fact that I am/was far too mothered, a result of me still living at home. My mum, who is an absolute star, was perhaps in the position of not realising just how much she did for me - and that, as helpful as she was, it was overall having a negative effect on my beliefs.

Anyway, I decided to take her to my therapy session last Thursday so that she could see for herself what we had discussed about my core beliefs. This, I hoped, would create a bridge between my sessions with my therapist, where I would appear as a willing learner, and th reality of home life. Obviously, the long-term plan would be to move back out of the family home, though I generally get on with my parents so it is not a massive priority, especially as my financial position is rather uncertain.

However, over the past week, I am just glad that I am doing so much more for myself around the house and I feel so much more self-assured doing things. It had genuinely got to the extent that I would not really want to go into the kitchen out of fear of doing something wrong with one of the appliances there but now I'm making my own food and sorting my own washing, just as a 30-year-old should be doing really.

Wonderfully, the pit of the stomach feeling has largely gone. I still get a bit of anticipatory anxiety on a morning before I go to work but most of my tasks are completed the night before and even the stomach feeling soon clears off once I'm there, provided most of my calls go OK.

I think my mum appreciates that I am in a better place right now, and me not relying on her so much has come at a good time as my nanna (her mum) passed away at the weekend, finally relenting after a long fight against Alzheimer's and cancer. A sad period of time, for sure, but one which I actually feel that I can cope with.

Thanks for reading my update,
Peter