I could cope if it wasn't for the mental symptoms!

[hannah26]

Hello,

Sorry if the title doesn't make any sense, I'll try and explain.
Ok so recently my anxiety has been at an all time high, lots of physical symptoms but the thing that really gets to me is the mental anxiety, not so much the worry about my symptoms it's the weird thoughts and feeling that really get to me.
I have derealization and depersonalisation, weird thoughts and feelings like the other day I was concentrating on something as when I looked up I thought oh my god everything is so real, it's too much, I'm going crazy, I'm going to freak out and end up completely brain damaged or crazy. It came and went but it was there as it freaked me out, I also have moments of feeling like everything's spinning and I can't stop it and it feels like its never going to end.
It's constantly there i don't always panic over it but its like I'm in a fishbowl looking at the world from behind a glass sheet. I sometimes zone out and it's like I've blacked out for a second and I just don't know why!
Does this sound normal? I mean normal for panic/anxiety.
How do I stop it? Will it ever end? I can't live like this forever it's getting too much and I'm so tired all the time just fighting to not go crazy!

Sorry for the moan
Hannah x x

[sofaboy]

Hey hannah,

sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment which is always rubbish, so sorry to hear it.

does it sound normal in an anxiety & panic sense - yes, compeletly. you've pretty much described the symptoms i get get word for word! Like it's always ticking over in the background!

it feels like it will never end, but it will and it does. if your anything like me you think it's been happening 24/7, 7 days a week, however when i think about it logically it actually happening far far less (not even 50% of the time) and i'm just thinking that when it's happening, if that makes sense.

It kind of ebbs & flows and i've come to accept that. for example this week has been pretty normal, then yesterday was a nigtmare, no idea why, but as soon as i accepted it was just the physicall & mental effects of too much adrenaline & chortisol kicking round my nervous sytem, it was a lot better.

sounds like an odd one, and easier said then done (i struggle with it) but accept it when it happens, don't fight it.

you won't go crazy eaither. what your experiencing is a physiologocal response to your fight / flight mechanism being too highly sensitive at the moment. no matter how bad you feel, it can not harm you physically or mentally and it will NOT send you crazy (the neuroscience & pathways of mental illness are very different).

to try and get a break from the cycle, i go to the gym and that helps so much - not only distraction, but the physical excersion is great for breaking down the stress hormone chortisol and the endorphin release you get from excercise is great for staving off the dark thoughts!

[EnoughAlready]

I sometimes zone out and it's like I've blacked out for a second and I just don't know why!

I get this and then when I come too I get an adrenaline rush because I panic and it triggers an attack. After this i am anxious for weeks

[Blondiegirl1]

Hannah,

Everything you mentioned is all signs of anxiety. you have described me to a tee. I also get the feeling of I can't breathe and that scares me even more. I to feel like I'm going to go crazy, but I know it is just this dam anxiety. I wish I could be like I used to be. Happy with life. Now I just take on day @ a time. Some days are better than others. Just knowing that you are not alone helps.

[xvolatileheart]

Hannah, I used to say that I could cope if it weren't for the physical symptoms as they were convincing me I was ill.

Now I feel the same as you - the mental aspect of this is unbearable! The horrible thoughts, thinking I'm dying or going crazy, derealisation, not being able to concentrate, feeling like I'm not in the real world, believing nothing I feel is normal and will never feel normal again... it's all so exhausting.

I don't know if it's much consolation, but you are not alone. I'm always here for a chat if you want. :hugs:

[hannah26]

Hello everyone,

Thank you so much for all your replies. I don'tean it as it sounds but its good to know that others feel the same as I do, I wish none of us felt like this but it's good to know I'm not alone. I feel better just reading your replies.
It's such a horrible problem, I feel like I can never escape my mind unless in asleep and even that's hard sometimes.
The issue I have is that I've had these feelings now for years 13 of them and they come and go get better and worse but they are ultimately all the same, panic and anxiety, I know this and yet each time I panic it feels "different" and I say to myself "oh god this time it's real I'm sure of it" and that's the problem I need to change my mindset but I don't know how!!
It's my mind that's ultimately making me feel this way I need to stop the catastrophic thought process before it gets to the panic attack point but how do you change 13 years of thinking?

Thanks again
Hannah x x

[xvolatileheart]

Oh hun, I feel for you so much. Sounds like we are in exactly the same situation. I can't get one moment's peace from my mind and everyday feels like I'm sinking deeper into a black hole that I will never be able to climb out of. How am I meant to change my thoughts that have been there every second for so long now?! I wish I had the answer. I feel more out of control everday.

[Bam_bam]

Hey guys you've described my situation perfectly, its a hideous frame of mind to be in. Id love to have a chat with any of you for support let me know if you're about on here xx

[*Fallen Angel*]

I am very much like you. I cannot stop worrying and analysing everything including my body for illnesses etc. It's definitely like a switch that is stuck on over-drive.

[NoPoet]

Hi all. Remember that derealisation and depersonalisation are actually defense mechanisms. They can be triggered by medication, recreational drugs, anxiety, illness and so on. If you get like this when anxious or depressed, it does not indicate a serious problem, it's a natural response. Everything you experience is a normal part of what you're going through.

You feel like everything is somehow different and strange - like you've landed on an alien planet, the world is carrying on and you can't understand why everything is so strange but no-one seems to notice. What's happening is you are thinking different thoughts because you're anxious. These are new, strange and often distressing thoughts. Your mind is trying to rationalise this by finding an explanation for the anxiety, so it seizes on the world around you and declares "There! That seems different, so there must be something wrong with it!" Or it might feel so surrounded by threats that it retreats into a kind of dream-like state.

The world hasn't changed at all. It's no more real or more fake, no more enticing and no more frightening, than it was before anxiety struck. You're just seeing it with new eyes. You're changing, you're growing, you're gathering fresh experience.

One day you will come to terms with all of this. The world won't seem so strange and you won't feel so left out. When the worst of the anxiety recedes, you'll find that you start becoming interested in exploring the world again. It might happen over weeks or months, it might happen in the snap of insight, but you'll have that eureka moment.

Lorne: How you holding up?
Angel: I wanna go, bad. I'm just waiting for Wes to have that "eureka" moment.
Wesley: [runs in shouting] Eureka!
Angel: Oh, Jeez! Thank God!
Lorne: You mean he actually really says "Eureka"?