Panic disorder or something serious

[Kmccluskey]

Hi everyone,

I'm Kieron I'm 21 and new to the forum and I just wanted to get a general opinion on something. I've been told I've been suffering from panic attacks by my doctors and have been to a and e a couple of times who did an ECG, blood pressure and blood test. apparently nothing is wrong with me , however I don't feel like this. around 3 months ago I took two ecstasy pills and the morning after I experienced a rapid heart beat and a few panicky attack symtoms, called the ambulance who took me to a and e and they said I was fine . my heart rate was 144 for a while. I was sent home , to my shock, as I believed that something was seriously wrong. Ever since that night I have felt like a different person, I've had to leave work, leave social situations and basically feel like I'm waiting on death. Doctors have said that there's nothing to worry about but I feel as though they don't listen to my symptoms and pass them off because I'm too young, I think the reason I can't move forward is because ecstasy caused these feelings. symtpoms are , head pressure/squeezing , increased heart rate, hot flashes, racing mind and thoughts that don't make sense , brain fog, fear of death, heart sensations like squeezing and the odd thud, hyperventialting , feeling light headed , brain felt like it was bouncing and I was going to pass out , irritable, and at times I feel like I'm going to die, then I feel happy and reassured , this mood swing has been evident for the past 3 months, I also get weird smells, like chemical smells, turn pale at times, feel confused , cannot concentrate properly, grey tingling feelings in my left arm and hand , wake up in a panic attack and I also wake up feeling horrible, confiused and an impending sense of death, I feel like I can never relax, especially in bed. my thoughts don't make sense at night , "like that game is folded 32" ridiculous I know. also I seem to get these symtpoms on occasion, in my "panic attack" I only really experience two to three symptoms , sometimes even one, like today I felt like I was just gonna drop dead , a sudden rush of fear and terror , felt physical though , felt like I was about to die , hard to describe it to be honest , like a rising feeling that would just take me and that my time was up ,. so this makes me believe that my death is imminent , like it may seem like there is nothing wrong with me but I fear that I will die .vat times I can say, yeah it's just anxiety, but then , I'm like hold up, u took drugs a while back, and have only felt like this since then. Doctor said ecstasy can cause anxiety and that if it was serious id be dead by now. any help would be appreciated guys , as in your opinions on what's happening with me, I feel a different person and feel like il never be myself again 😞. any comments would be appreciated guys,

Kieron

[suki300]

My first panic attack (about 17 years ago) was drug related. I had been taking anphetimines (and a few other things). One weekend we went to a club that was a bit of a distance away. I kept putting my finger in the bag of speed and next thing I knew I'd eaten it all and i don't know how much it was, but all I knew was that suddenly my heart was racing. I spent the majority of the night outside because i couldn't cope with indoors and I was so frightened I was dying, i told the bouncers who checked my heart rate and told me to walk around the car park (which I must have done for about 3 hours).

Looking back I think I was just having a panic attack on speed. However, you hear bad stories about drugs and although those stories are much rarer than alcohol related ones. Anyway, that was what convinced me that I had ruined my body and I was dying.

Monday morning work came around and at the time I worked in Leeds, I must have still been worried but it wasn't until lunchtime when I had gone for a walk, that this panic attack hit me. All of a sudden things seemed very strange, I managed to get back to the office, but i ended up hiding under the desk, all i could think was that I'd had this speed and I was going to die.

By the time I got to the toilets, my arms and legs were just pins and needles. By the time the ambulance came and they'd stuck those heart monitor stickers on me, i was truely convinced i would die (afterall why on earth would they stick them on me.)

The doctors spent ages trying to convince me i wouldn't die, even though it was hours after I'd taken the drugs. Later I saw a pshychiatric nurse and although that bit is now very vague - it was dreadful.

For months afterwards, my drug taking friends would smoke cannabis and say it would calm me down and all it would do would induce panic, i couldn't live the social drug lifestyle. There were a few incidents before (ecstacy and one very, very bad LSD trip) where the downsides completely outweighed the goodside.

How i look at it now, is that the drugs were an escape and if i hadn't of taken them, I was still a mental health case waiting to happen, they just acted as a huge catalyst. So I'd say never underestimate how drugs can affect your mental health. You will get better, although it was the worst stage of my life - at one point I was worried about going to sleep in case I wouldn't wake up and I became quite agoraphobic because of the first panic attack.

However, CBT was extremely helpful and quite productive in changing my life. it gave me the courage to dump my boyfriend which meant my drug fuelled social life ended and i found other friends.

Although it was not nice, it was a journey that made me the person I am now. It will strengthen you and help you learn about yourself. there is a very positive end to it. I grew up, stopped being unresponsible and became a nicer person (fewer mood swings). It is a journey, but the true things that we learn in life and that make us the people we are, are the journeys that we take.

[Fishmanpa]

Kieron,

Everything you describe is indicative of anxiety. I can browse posts and find hundreds if not thousands similar to yours in this forum. Check out the "symptoms" link on the left side of the page and you'll find everything you mentioned listed. As was mentioned, certain illicit drugs can be a catalyst for mental disorders such as anxiety.

There is professional counseling and drug therapies that can help you gain control of your feelings. The first step is to accept that something is wrong and ask your GP to refer you to an appropriate professional to address your issues.

Good luck!

[Barnabas75]

You have just been given some very good advice Kieron.I hope you will take it to heart.

[Rennie1989]

All the symptoms SCREAM anxiety. The symptoms you are experiencing is the 'flight or fight' response taking affect, adrenaline is being released into your system putting you on alert for danger. Of course, this 'danger' does not exist and therefore the symptoms are redundant. And because your body has created these symptoms to put you on alert they are not dangerous, none of them, not even the brain fogs or hyperventilation.

We can all understand how you are feeling, those symptoms are very scary and feel very real but believe me, you won't die. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY has died from the symptoms of a panic attack, or died from a panic attack itself. It is just your body overreacting to a normal situation and putting you on alert.

I highly advice that you get some treatment for the panic attacks, whether it's counseling or CBT. You sound very distressed by them and you need to get some relief.

[Kmccluskey]

Thanks guys��, I appreciate the responses, I suppose it was hard for me to accept I'm just suffering anxiety , as drugs were involved and u know what they can do. Always checking my pulse, and sometimes it's high and irregular beats, even sometimes , I get a squeeze or thud in my heart. So worried I will drop dead at any time. and yeah docs have told me it's anxiety, and I've been to one CBT session who talked about the fight or flight response. I think what's hard for me is the fact I can't accept it's anxiety, and it's something else that will result in my death due to the drug back in July, thanks for responses guys ��.

means a lot

[suki300]

It will take a while to let go. If it were that easy and you could talk yourself out of it just the one time and say it was just anxiety, the whole treatment would be a lot quicker, but sadly our brains can take some convincing.

Your thought processes are how anxiety works. For other people you'll see they are convinced they have cancer and others, there are other things. You are fixating on the drugs as the root cause, but if you hadn't have taken the drugs or if there was another trigger, it would be something else.

I know it is very, very difficult to believe, I spoke with dr's for hours and it took me a long time not to think I wouldn't drop dead on the spot when I had a panic attack (although I didn't think the drugs were the cause later on - I just thought I was going to die). It didn't matter how many people told me I would die or have a heart attack from an anxiety attack, i understand it is very difficult to believe.

Don't worry you'll get there, it's good you've started CBT. I know you'll just want it to go, but it takes a little time. When you're able to accept that they are panic attacks, it gets easier because you haven't got the fear of death on top of it, but that is not an easy thing to do.

[Kmccluskey]

Thanks suki ��. Great bit of reassurance there. how long did it take you to overcome the fear of death ?

[suki300]

It wasn't that i overcame my fear of death per say, as i think we're all a bit scared. But I came to learn that the symptoms of a panic attack weren't going to be the cause. I think when it's really bad, you feel like you're tempting fate, by saying it's okay, because you have that little voice saying, but what if the experts are wrong, what if I'm different?

You don't want to let go. Sometimes when I was so exhausted from it, I used to just think, okay I'm going to die, I might as well relax about it and it helped me calm down a bit.

Actually, it's only since coming on this website, that I realise that the symptoms I felt were the same as everyone else, it's just the internet hadn't been invented when I was going through it!

I think once you learn to control the panic a little, or learn how to distract yourself, you simply learn to realise that you've ended up calming down and nothing happened. It doesn't happen overnight and there were times I worried about other causes of death.

I can't give you a specific time frame, but it gradually got better and even though I went through blips, I still got through it.

All I can say is panic attacks and that general anxiety makes you feel absolutely dreadful, it is the worst feeling in the world and there it's almost impossible to equate it to anything other than you are going to die, but it just will not happen. Feeling dreadful and panicky is not how people die - it's just extremely unpleasant.

My six week CBT training was very helpful and I think I'd got over the worst of it, but everyone is different. You won't feel like this for ever and you will live a long life.

[fishman65]

Hi Kieron,

Yep,lots of great advice here and little I can add other than my own experiences.With me it was alcohol and lots of it over a sustained period of time.But rest assured,even though these symptoms are very scary,they CANNOT harm you.The heart can actually race for days on end without any adverse effects,in fact its likely to give it a good work-out?

All I will say is try to avoid substances in the future where you have no real idea what their effects will be.In fact even if you DO know their effect,as in my case where it was alcohol that I consumed in great quantity.

[Etriggeredpanic]

Hi All and Kieron,

I just wanted to quickly say that I'm posting all the way from the Bay Area California and have been searching for answers regarding my recent "Panic" diagnosis.

I have seen multiple experts here where I live regarding my conditions and received well over 5 tests to find any possible discrepancy in my health. These tests include, 3 EKGs, 1 MRI, 2 Blood tests, Heart-X-ray, Heart echo, and a few more I may be forgetting.

Kieron - I am in the same exact position you are in right now, which is ecstasy triggered panic attacks. This, however, occurred at a rave that I went to in Las Vegas a few months ago. I have done multiple hours of research to find any possibilities that may be wrong with my health, all but leading to nothing but anxiety symptoms.

I wanted to mention that I've tried my best, in the past four weeks, to avoid SSRI's to keep my state of mind of knowing that I can overcome these obstacles with my own mental perseverance. I have tried almost every benzo you can think of to subside any symptoms I have that you are also experiencing, including Ativan and Xanax both.

Today I've decided to try a new drug, and this drug has been doing wonders for me and I'm optimistic that it will work for you temporarily as well. This drug is called Valium. With this drug so far, my symptoms of "panic" have subsided severely and I've been much more optimistic about my health lately.

My struggle so far has impacted my work life and school life drastically to the point of which I am not able to attend and participate in my daily activities.

I have told myself, with hours of research, I will start running and exercising to help these symptoms subside with the help of Valium.

If all goes to worst, I will then try the SSRI the doctor has prescribed me.


I am in the same position you are, and trust me my life has fell into a ditch the last month or so.

Fight with me Kieron, lets get through this together.

Best,
AB

[Kmccluskey]

Thanks guys, I think my trouble is that I still believe it's not anxiety that's causing me to feel this way, like I have sometimes a pressure around my heart and hear it thud or squeeze sometimes. And I tried exercising as that's good advice but I felt bad during it , and a bit heavy, scared me a bit. symtpoms always changing aswell, if it's not hot flashes , it will be racing mind, suffocating feeling, needing to take deeper breathes , etc. but I just can't cope with the intense feeling of terror that makes me think , this is me. I'm dead. and combined with other symtpoms , some of which are hard to believe is anxiety , just scares the hell iut of me, I don't like my mood swings either, feeling happy an reassured , then feeling like I'm definitely gonna die, swear to god it feels like my heart squeezes and makes me jump. What symtpoms did you guys suffer from?

---------- Post added at 16:56 ---------- Previous post was at 16:53 ----------

I wonder why I struggle to believe I'm not suffering from panic attacks, that makes it difficult for me to move on

---------- Post added at 17:01 ---------- Previous post was at 16:56 ----------

Just saw your post, yeah it's good to know I'm not alone buddy, what symptoms do u get and , yes mate, we will get through this together, good to know I'm not alone. have u accepted the fact you have anxiety ? It are u still concerned about your health.