WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR FIRST ATTACK?

[baxwalker]

My appologies if this topic has already been covered but I'm new to the site.

I am a 59 year old Oil Terminal Manager.

I would be interested to hear what others experienced during their first 'panic attack' and what do they think led up to it.

With me, I had a long period of stressful situations, mainly work related (bullying by upper management) but managed to cope. I then had my first 2 week holiday for many years. The first week was excellent and I was really beginning to unwind. On the Monday of the second week, I was driving when all of a sudden, I just felt very 'unwell'. I pulled in and noticed my heart was thumping and I felt I was going to pass out. i assumed it was a heart attack but there was no pain - just this awful feeling of doom. My wife said my lips had a blueish tinge and I was very pale. Anyway, a large queue of traffic had built up and I had this overwhelming need to get back to my base which was our caravan.

I managed to get back and sat outside but this awful feeling was still there. The owner of the site drove me to the local medical centre and they performed an ECG which gave a perfect result.

The rest of that week resulted in me curled up in the corner of the caravan dreading the 400 mile journey home, towing the caravan.

I managed the trip back better than expected and felt normal by the time we arrived home. I went to bed and just as I laid down feeling very relaxed, the feeling came back with a vengeance. That was 4 years ago and despite some HypnoTherapy treatment etc, I've never been my old self since. Just good days and bad days and a number of normal ECGs etc.

The feeling often recurrs as soon as I get in my car to go on a journey which doesn't really surprise me.

Now every twinge is a sign of something serious - but I'm prety sure it's all in my head as in 4 years of this I'm still here.

Any helpful suggestions would be really appreciated. [^]

John

It's all in the mind!

[yorkylover]

Hi John,Im a caravaner to[Yeah!]:).My panic attacks are very similar,have all the same symptoms.I always go very pale,clammy,and have all the other things like you.You are not alone.Where ever I have had a major panic attack I associate that place with them,and try to avoid that place.I had one in the car on the motor way,my partner was driving,it then took me along time to get back on the motor way as I kept having these attacks.
Its not in your head at all,its anxiety.when you go of on a journey your mind is reminding you of the time you had the attack.Am I making sense,probably not.
I had a whole week of this in may we were away in the caravan and it spoilt the holiday.I thought I was going crazy at one point.
You will gets lots of advise here,and we are all here to support each other.;)

Ellen XX

[reddevil]

Hi and welcome to the site.

I suffered with 24/7 headache for 3 years and I started having panic attacks quite regular, especially at night because I was afraid that I had a tumour.

I was then put on medication, which to be honest has stopped me having panic attacks but it does not stop me worrying over every symtom, which like you I feel is serious.

All of us on this site suffer from this horrid thing called anxiety and remember your not alone, just post anytime.

The website is a blessing to have, who ever created it deserves a round of applause!

Red

[ajk]

Hi John

I had my first PA one night - it was stupid - I was in bed listening to the radio, I fell asleep and woke up after a little while to a horror story - I thought this is really scary and went to turn the radio off when I started to feel sick and then it happened! I didn't know it was a pa at the time - I phoned the out of hours doctor in confusion and terror thinking I was about to have a stroke. Only looking back now do I realise what it was.

The next one I had was really awful and I ended up having an ecg (which was completey normal) in my doctors surgery. This time I thought I had a brain tumour (a close friend of mine had recently died from a brain tumour) I got the wobbly legs then the switch into panic..hyperventilating and tingling in my hands. I couldn't move my fingers - all classic signs of a pa - this was two years ago. After that there followed months of anxiety thinking I had cancer. I got over it all through counselling and learning to breath and relax and going through step by step in my head what my body is actually doing when a pa happens. The next time it happened I was able to manage it before it took hold and have been able to do so since.

There's a lot of information on this site that will help.

With best wishes and good luck to you. Alison

[mysweetshadow]

hi baxwalker, my symptons started almost 2 years ago, when i was working in a Call Centre. The day before my Panic Attack started I had a warning sign, which silly enough I didnt take.
On day One, I had funny eye visions. My Sight was going all blurry and people to me looked like they where a grey colour. I didnt think anything of it, I just thought I was tired from all the long hours I had been working. The rest of the day carried on as normal.
The next morning when I was getting up to go to work, I remember felling quite dizzy and sick, but again I just blamed it on lack of sleep. I went into that morning and up to lunch time I felt fine. I was on my way back from luch and I had checked the time and realised I was late, so I was rushing back to my desk. After I sat down at my desk, I started to feel dizzy again. I put my head between my legs to try and get the blood flowing to my brain. After a while I lifted my head and the dizzyness was still there, and I started to feel sick. The only way I could describe it, was that I felt drunk. Lucky for me the toilets where close by, but when i went into the toilets nothing happened. I then explained my situation to my line manager, and he laugh at me and said, that I was out drinking at luch time. After 10 minutes of arguing with my line manager I was sent home.
When I finally got home, I ran straight for my bed, and I went and lay down for a few hours. When I woke up I felt fine, but when I went to go outside, I couldnt. The dizzy spells kept coming back, and the symptoms were worse. I thought I would rest for the day and I would try again the next day. So I did, and when i tried to go and see my GP I could, I just couldnt step foot over my front door.
Now 18 months later, I can thankfully say I can set foot outside my front door, but I cant go no further than 5mins down my street. I have also seen my GP and progress in my situation is also starting to happen.

phil

[baxwalker]

Many thanks for your encouraging replies Ellen, Red, Alison and Phil, It's nice to know that I'm not alone but sorry to learn that so many of us suffer this horrible silent and almost invisible illness. Because there are no obvious outward symptoms for many of us we have to suffer in silence.

I had always been a reasonably strong sort of person and generally in control of myself. When I heard of guys having breakdowns and panic attacks, I was very unsympathetic and just thought they should pull themselves together and not be so wimpish etc.

How wrong could I have been - but it seems that until it bites you, you have no idea of what it can do to a person.

I managed with around 14 years of stress from bereavements to loss of my business of 25 years to my partner and his new wife's powerful family, my partner left me, my 17 years old daughter fell in love with a rather handsome gypsy lad and disappeared for two years and I suffered from years of bullying from a manager who sensed my weaknesses. The worst one was my father having a mild stroke on the motorway and in his confused state did a U-turn into the oncoming traffic and killed a young mum. The double inquest was terrible for me as I had to represent my family and the relations of the lady who died were all there. I coped all through this and just as I came out of it and was for the first time able to start to relax - I got bitten by this awful illness we all have on this forum. Like many of you, I had no idea what was going on and spent two years being treated/tested by doctors for all manner of physical illnesses. I then discovered, Self Help for Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes and that has been one of my biggest saviours.

I'm still not right but this forum which I have only just found promises to make a big difference to me.

Good luck to everyone on here x

It's all in the mind! - my doctor told me.

[lainey]

Hi Bax

Welcome to the forum.
You'll get loads of help and support here.
Good luck to you too mate.

Take care


Elaine x

[sgp64]

Hi John,

exact same happened to me, driving along, suddenly thought there was something happening with my heart, felt very unwell, full of doom, heart pounding, unable to breathe. Made it to hospital where everything checked out ok but have had similar episodes since but perhaps not as intense. The key factor for me (and one I keep reminding myself of) is that the day I drove past the spot where I first felt unwell I had a brief reoccurence of the symptoms.

4 months later I have good days/bad days and experience all kinds of symptoms but am working on destressing through all available means but have come to realise that I have spent a large part of my life being really anxious without realising it. I'm trying to address the root causes of my anxiety whilsy also looking after my physical self a bit better...mind and body! It's not easy...just today I thought I felt heart pain whilst queueing in the bank and ended up having a nasty attack of panic that almost had me rushing to the Docs/hospital. All the best with dealing with your symptoms as I know exactly where you're coming from.

Sean

[janie]

Hi John

I went to bed one night feeling really sleepy and content. When I got into bed my chest went really tight, I went hot and cold, heart started to race. I lay there for a while a bit frightened but when I couldn't settle I went to see my husband who was watching TV. And that was it - I got more and more frightened and I have been suffering mainly health anxiety since (that was in March this year).

I too had a build up of stress the previous 12 or so months and a lot of life changes in that 12 months but I seriously felt absolutely fine until that night. Subsequently, of course, I can probably see that there were warning signs which I didn't take any notice of. I also had a very disjointed childhood which I think perhaps has not stood me in good stead for fighting off stress and anxiety, although I would have never considered myself an anxious person.

My most worrying symptom is chest pain - my dad died of a heart attack so that is always in the back of my mind. I have had all the tests but the pains are so strong sometimes it is hard to believe that everything is ok.

I find that distraction is my best form of defense. If I am busy doing something then I tend to forget about the symptoms for a while but it is difficult to distract 24/7 isn't it. I wish I had a few more suggestions for you but I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel and send lots of support.

Take care

Janie xxx

[Allie]

Unfortuneatly my first panic attack happend on my 18th birthday in the middle of the cinema, whilst watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets! It sound quite funny when I type that now, but it was terrifying at the time.

I felt a choking sensation and then became ultra aware of my swallowing, then my breathing. I thought I was going to die! My mouth went dry and my heart was pounding, I felt fidgety and a strong desire to escape came over me. However, the peceived embarresment of running out kept me in my seat for the next hour! I was terrifed.

I got out, downed a whole cup of apple tango, went home and promtly threw up!

I consequently became preoccupied with the fear of suffocation/choking for nearly four years. Other health worries also arose. Mainly about going mad/dementia etc...

I think several factors precipitated my disorder; I was bullied by a so called friend at school, suffered with chronic fatigue syndrome on and off for three years previous and was totally run off my feet at college and work at the time.

Luckily I am seeking help at the moment and am continuing to make great progress!

Take care,

A :)

THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD IS NOT THE VOICE OF GOD. IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE IT THINKS IT IS! Cheri Huber

[nuts]

hi im hazel im fairly new is well i get very shaky is well all the symptons youve experiented ive had them exactly the same i went on holiday for 1 day and then i had to come home i was also off work for 7 weeks just gone back its very distressing but the medication im on are really working so be strong and you will get there i promise you take care regards hazel.

[Paddington]

hello there!Good to meet you.My first attack was when i was a child!I had no clue what it was,i was only 11!They did stop,but re-occured at the age of 32 after my dad died,It was at night ,iremember i couldn't see,my vision was blurred,i was shaking like a leaf and my heart was poundingSent for the dr who gave me a sleeping tablet!!??I have had panic attacks on and off ever since!20 years now!I was at a vet low ebbwhen ifound this forum[hey red devil,it was nicola who founded it..no more panic,applause all round!x]It has helped me enourmously.You willalways have some one to talk tomhere who completely undertands where you are coming from!Welcome!Love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[baxwalker]

Thanks again for all your encouraging replies - it's very comforting to know that I am not alone. I'm sorry I can't reply to you all individually.

It's so sad to see that others are suffering as I do. This is a very unfair world these days, with so many of us living under constant stress. We were not designed for this. Much of it caused by bullying - intentional or otherwise.

Thanks once again.
John

[Fly2Freedom]

Hi.
I was a kid out with my mates in a public place.
My whole face started twitching violently,my hands were shaking and I felt Like I couldnt breathe and I was going to die.:(
My shaking stayed with me and at aged 17,I was even put on a low dose of tranquiliser and was told to breathe into a paper bag when I was having one of my do,s.
After that I had such bad ones that I even called an ambulance a few times and on occassion went to A & E but I couldnt wait in a public place and used to leave.
I cant be in public crowded places and I will do anything to avoid at all costs.
Hope we feel better soon.
Love xFlyx

[ju5t1n917]

My first one was july 25, 2005... I woke up and thought I couldn't breathe and I went to the emergency room like 5 times that day.. They said I was breathing too much... I thought I was losing my mind so i eventually just started crying and getting upset... but after like 7 months I finally came to the conclusion that all it was is anxiety.. I still get scared that stuff is wrong with me but not sad about it anymore..