Dracula Still Lives..Im so sad,I feel hopeless

[looking4answers]

Yesterday I managed to share my day on here in a post that I tried to make humorous.It helped me for a bit but this is no joking matter.I am so worried about my life.We sleep at 8am and wake after dark.It was so beautiful this morning I wanted to stay awake but my body beckoned me to get some rest.I said Ill get up at noon and noon came and went..then three pm and then 6pm.I have never in my life slept this way even when I worked grave yard shift I would stay awake until 2pm and sleep until 10pm and then go to work.When we moved here we took early retirement.I thought that meant fun and fun and more fun.Its very rural here and not much to do,well if you don't have anxiety I suppose there is plenty to do ,but the fear of failing health worries me so we stay in.We haven't been out of the house for over five days,not even to the grocery.When I don't go out I get to where I don't want to go out and then start worrying whether I can handle going out.I don't want to be like this.I also don't shower but every other day because its cold here and we don't exert and we aren't going anywhere so whats the point..This also concerns me because I am a very hygenic person and always have.Our day consist of watching a little tv and eating a little food and mostly hanging around in the house..Sometimes we read but our day is night..It gives me the creeps waking up at dark..I want so much to change all of this..Before Katrina I was always up to do things like work,travel and something new and exciting .Since anxiety ..I don't much care about anything.We have gotten in a habit of we are retired so we don't have to do anything.The more I sleep the more tired I am.I have lost about 35 pounds in a couple of months and well needed to lose them anyway but its the first time in my life I have lost weight without trying.We eat a little breakfast and then one other meal..Never too much..No deserts and really don't care to eat.I have just got to where I don't care if I eat or not.Honestly I don't know what is wrong with me Im so depressed about our life but continue it everyday..Same habits and same day just another day..I try to read and study about depression and anxiety and how to work on it but that is far as it goes..I don't get what im depressed about.I have been anxious about weird medical symptoms and other than ear problems the doctor pronouced us ok..and told us we were suffering from depression about the storm.I really don't understand how we can be but I think its more about being somewhere that we are unfamilar with and feeling lost and vunderable..at least that is how I feel.The fact is that I was wondering if you sleep during the day does this make you tired and weak? Or does it make you crazy ? I mean, most days I can cope with nights and not going anywhere and content to just think I will stay up tomorrow and see the world,but the more I sleep the more tired I am and I can't seem to get in sync.When I was younger I could sleep four or five hours here and there and then stay up..even last year I could do that but now If I try to stay up I feel so tired that I feel im going to die..This ear buisness with problems there hearing my pulse makes me a little crazy too,athough I have been told its ears I worry and get depressed being afraid there is something else..I can't see and ent until about a week so I want know for sure.I feel like Im slowly loosing my mind and feel all alone although my wife is here,I think she feels just about the same.I want us to be ok..and I feel stuck here..Its not that I don't like it here its just different and when you get into a place that you never see the light....just the darkness and its unfamilar to you ...then its depressing..Yesterday I was laughing and writing about the silly things I do with health anxiety..today I feel that I can barely breathe..Just tired so very tired.its already 8.30 pm here and I haven't even gotten up and had something to eat.I need to take a shower but don't know if I can find the energy .I just am slipping deeper and deeper in ..Does anyone else ever feel this way..Is this

[kate]

I think that a lot of your problems stem from the fact that you no longer have any structure to your day.

Firstly, you need to start sleeping regular hours, ie going to bed around 11 pm and rising at around 7 am. Set your alarm and make it your mission to get up as soon as it goes off. Your body will soon get into it's new routine.

Secondly, you really need to find things to do to occupy your day. Could you not find a part time job or do some voluntary work? We all need some structure in our lives. Without it we just flounder around, putting off doing anything as we don't HAVE to. Having nothing in particular to occupy ourselves merely serves to feed the depression/anxiety, giving us far to much time to think and worry.

The things I have suggested probably seem way out of your reach at present. I really think that you also need to return to your GP and explain exactly how bad things have got.

Kate x




"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I think that a lot of your problems stem from the fact that you no longer have any structure to your day.

Firstly, you need to start sleeping regular hours, ie going to bed around 11 pm and rising at around 7 am. Set your alarm and make it your mission to get up as soon as it goes off. Your body will soon get into it's new routine.

Secondly, you really need to find things to do to occupy your day. Could you not find a part time job or do some voluntary work? We all need some structure in our lives. Without it we just flounder around, putting off doing anything as we don't HAVE to. Having
nothing in particular to occupy ourselves merely serves to feed the depression/anxiety, giving us far to much time to think and worry.

The things I have suggested probably seem way out of your reach at present. I really think that you also need to return to your GP and explain exactly how bad things have got.

Kate x




"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

<div align="right">Originally posted by kate - 29 October 2006 : 07:37:03</div id="right">
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My wife and i had time to chat today and we are going to change things..and that will help..She also told me that we make the choices to not do anything because we can.I don't think the gp is going to do anything ,she was very unattentive and well told me i had a mumur when she wouldn't explain what it was and said that It wasn't worth mentioning and then when i called back to talk to her to ask about the severity of it..she let the assistant call me back and told me not to worry about it..She put me on zoloft and said we had ptsd ..and well washed her hands of us so to speak..The next closes doctor is about 30 miles and I have an ent appointment in a week.Im better now and we are going to change somethings..Ill ride it out and sure ill be ok..It was just one of those days...sorry..

[kate]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">It was just one of those days...sorry..</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Dunno why you are apologising, I have a lot of "those" days too! :D

Good luck.

kate x


"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">It was just one of those days...sorry..</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Dunno why you are apologising, I have a lot of "those" days too! :D
Good luck.

kate x


"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"


Cause im embarrassed.Sometimes if I would just sit down and have a logical chat with my wife she is extremly intelligent and somehow makes things seem very logical ,but I feel bad about complaining the way I feel.She usually comes up with something logical and makes me laugh too..so it helps..I guess im so used to reading on here that when you sleep all the time you are very depressed and when you don't want to go out of the house you are agrophobic or something like that.. please ignore the spelling..You get what I mean.I was discussing it with her because it really does annoy me the way we sleep and it always has,but I have given in to it like her logic..She says we have nothing to do so might as well sleep.Our neighbor has only been here for about a year ,and she came over one day and said she had slept all the time for the last seven months and still does it..I don't know but to me,why sleep your life away.I guess its an escape and for the life of me I always say im going to get up ,but when you are sleepy and tired your tiredness over comes your logic..lol..I don't know it was just a depressing day and I shoud have stayed up this morning at daybreak,but I have started giving in to my body because I have health anxiety and afraid that I will cause my heart extra strain by staying up which depresses me.For some reason I have got in me since we moved here that I cannot do the things I used to ..I am talking about physcial things.I don't know where that comes from ..Other than this hearing a pulse in my ears and a innocent murmur ..there is really nothing wrong with me that I know of. I don't know why I convinced myself I can't do anything anymore.I have done that and also depressed myself even more..Read the post I made yesterday in the health anxiety forum and you will see I was better then but it really relates to the way I feel most of the time..But anyway .thanks for telling me not to aplogize and listening...

<div align="right">Originally posted by kate - 29 October 2006 : 08:51:18</div id="right">
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[Wannabeloved85]

hi

Just make sure that any changes you make are taken slowly! a dramatic change could knock you back. Take it slow and build up from there. An alarm clock would be really good too, sleeping the day away isnt healthy or simulating. Boredom will become lathargy/apathy {not sure which one of those to say} and you'll not want to get up and do anything what so ever, ive been there and im still getting out of it. Most of my day is spent sitting on my bed, and i dont meed my parents to tell me that its unhealthy, i already know it is.
One thing that might help, no matter if you 15 or 85, pretend your immortal/super hero for half hour everyday! just adapt a new character to play out, it might make you more energetic and will deffinetly distract you and silence your thought for a while., plus it can be super fun! if actors can do this,why cant we?!

[net]

a lot of things happened at once it seems like
katrina
you moved to a higher altitude which does affect your oxygen levels and you need to adjust to it
retirement
depression
all of this changes your sleep patterns i went through the same sleeping all day awake at night not going out
i'm glad you and your wife are going to try to change it
but as has been said do it a little at a time if you make a drastic change you'll upset your body
when my mom retired she went into a severe depression and slept all the time now she has decided she needs a hobby

netty


the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

[looking4answers]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">a lot of things happened at once it seems like
katrina
you moved to a higher altitude which does affect your oxygen levels and you need to adjust to it
retirement
depression
all of this changes your sleep patterns i went through the same sleeping all day awake at night not going out
i'm glad you and your wife are going to try to change it
but as has been said do it a little at a time if you make a drastic change you'll upset your body
when my mom retired she went into a severe depression and slept all the time now she has decided she needs a hobby

netty


the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

<div align="right">Originally posted by net - 29 October 2006 : 15:10:07</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Netty,

Thanks I appreciate it and as you ...I suspect the altitude has a lot to do with it and the change ..so drastic.. its unbelieveable..Plus where our children were once all together having dinner with us every two or three weeks..to being scattered all over really makes a difference..We did better today and thanks to you guys..It was a whole lot better.We are reasoning and doing little steps but I tell you just a little at a time is alot better.Now if I can only deal with this pulse thing and stop thinking so much about mortality Ill be fine..But at least we are off to a start..Thanks again..

[myself]

Hi there
I understand how you feel, I have no option but to go to work, but as you can see from my numerous postings, keeping my attebtion on the job is so difficult.
Weekends and evening I used to do so much, now stay in bed very late (not sleeping even just with my eyes closed trying to avoid things). My wife understands and is patient and gently coaxes me out to "go shopping", then we stop for a coffee somewhere, maybe you could do similar, different supermarket each time, go at 8am instead of off to sleep, take a different route each time, and unless its a long way to shops, dont buy so much so you have to go more often. Just a small start to break out of the present routine you have.
Hope this helps in someway and so glad you and the wife are getting things together again.
peace be with you
myself

[looking4answers]

Dracula has turned about face.. but now dealing with bright sunlight and worrying all day..I think it goes back to never being happy with what we have..for almost a week now..we changed our schedule and sleeping early ..When I awake during the night I get freaked out and the creeps..just doesnt seem that things will ever be normal.. We woke the other day and the sun was so bright it burned my face..forgetting about it that night came in and even in the cold my body was burning from the exposure of the sun so close to us at such a high altitude.I was sweating.. and it was freezing..of course the first thing that came to mind was profuse sweating..symptom of stroke or heart attack..scared myself to death and caused a massive anxiety panic attack complete with racing heart and frieght.I took meds and still couldnt relax..I finally let it go after several hours..I finally was so tired that I couldnt stay awake..I went to sleep early again and woke after a horrible nightmare..I sat in felt hot again and then took a tylenol and somehow it relaxed me back into slumber.. I woke again during the night with the same feeling.. took another tylenol and went to sleep again..This time just thinking I don't care whether I die or not..But i woke again a third time..Its just freaky being awake and alone at night.. wife was asleep.Woke today feeling like I must have had a stroke and the light was weirding me out.. I had an anxious feeling of suffering the same fate again during the early evening realizing now that the sweating was probably from sunburn I have maybe staved off an anxiety attack for the night I hope..I took meds early in hopes of letting go of an anxiety attack..So the staying awake during the day and dealing with blinding light and going out during the daytime maybe isn't agreeing with us..It might have been better before as dracula.. and not having to deal with bright light..Its almost like its not natural being in that light but just a little bit of it in the evenings.. Anyway just an update on trying to be normal..and not suceeding.. but trying to find a happy medium..