Heath anxiety and OCD and cancer

[bhbest]

46 w/m in the USA and I suffer from both HA and OCD primarily, however the HA has been getting the best of me the last few years. The fact that my father died at 53 from esophageal cancer has me looped up in my latest cycle of worries. I too suffer from mild reflux disease however have had it under decent control the last few years with medication Prilosec. It has pretty much eliminated the little reflux I did have but I am still convinced I will fall prey to this horrible disease and constantly worry so much that I have now developed an "over focusing disorder" on swallowing and can even convince myself there is a tumor down my throat/esophagus as I concentrate on every swallow I make when I eat. I have no pain but the feelings are so enhanced it has me thinking I have something down there as I can feel the food as it travels and I convince myself my swallowing is not normal.
I have had abdominal ct scans and full blood workups recently due to my diverticular disease (a real disease I suffer from) but never had an upper scope however I am going to schedule one. My doctor has told me based on all my past tests I am probably fine and that I suffer from anxiety. I know no matter what the tests show I will just find other symptoms to focus on as every few weeks something else comes up and its a new set of symptoms to worry about. I am getting tired of this disorder finally it is taking its toll on me. Anyone have any advise on not worrying so much and living normal again?

[Andria24]

I don't have the answers BH, however are you undergoing treatment for the HA itself, because that's what's wrong with you - not the imagined diseases.

I understand how/why you're suffering from it, and empathise (I'm a little that way myself) but it seems more important right now that the HA (and your other anxieties) is treated in order to slow down and hopefully halt the cycle. You must be exhausted :hugs:

[bhbest]

Exhausted is pretty accurate. I don't know how I make it through 12 hour work days but its probably what keeps me going as long a I stay busy. I am determined to beat this disorder or at least get it in check as I realize I may always live with some sort of GAD. My mom has been on Lexirpo for the last 4 years for anxiety and she swears by it. My doctor also recommended it if Xanax fails to quell the symptoms satisfactorily. I have to admit the Xanax works pretty well but I do not take it all the time for fear of getting dependent upon it. But maybe that's my problem as I am not giving the medication a chance to do as it is intended. I have heard it takes a while for the Xanax to work properly and taking it sporadically probably defeats the purpose of taking it at all.

[Cags48]

I know how you feel I have had dreadful tummy and bowel problems and off course I think it's the big C , thing is with me I'm scared to go for the tests because my biggest fear is the outcome :weep: