Ruined
09-10-13, 00:52
Hey, I hope you're all doing okay.
I'm not very good at talking to people, but I really don't know what else to do and I don't really have anywhere else to turn.
I've suffered from depression since I was 9 years old, started self harming at the age of 13, was in an abusive relationship at 20 and diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after my partner assaulted me. And since then my whole life seems to have been a disaster.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I've recently had to leave my job due to being ill with anxiety and crippling depression. I'm pretty much at rock bottom right now and I don't know what to do. I've self harmed tonight for the first time in 2 years, I'm not on speaking terms with either of my parents at the minute (even though I live with them) because they're so sick of having to take care of me due to my illness.
I feel completely alone and I can't cope. I've been constantly let down by the doctors I've seen, so I'm very reluctant to go back there.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this post, except maybe to feel a bit less alone? There's no-one in the chat room, and I really need to talk to someone, but I feel bad ringing the Samaritans again because I have no money and I always have to ask them to ring me back (which I feel bad for because it's wasting their money on someone who doesn't deserve it.)
Sorry for ranting.
x
I'm not very good at talking to people, but I really don't know what else to do and I don't really have anywhere else to turn.
I've suffered from depression since I was 9 years old, started self harming at the age of 13, was in an abusive relationship at 20 and diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after my partner assaulted me. And since then my whole life seems to have been a disaster.
I won't bore you with all the details, but I've recently had to leave my job due to being ill with anxiety and crippling depression. I'm pretty much at rock bottom right now and I don't know what to do. I've self harmed tonight for the first time in 2 years, I'm not on speaking terms with either of my parents at the minute (even though I live with them) because they're so sick of having to take care of me due to my illness.
I feel completely alone and I can't cope. I've been constantly let down by the doctors I've seen, so I'm very reluctant to go back there.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this post, except maybe to feel a bit less alone? There's no-one in the chat room, and I really need to talk to someone, but I feel bad ringing the Samaritans again because I have no money and I always have to ask them to ring me back (which I feel bad for because it's wasting their money on someone who doesn't deserve it.)
Sorry for ranting.
x