Long term CBT - will that kill or cure?

[Andria24]

I've been earmarked for long-term CBT therapy. Being honest (and of course allowing for the anxious me to be in control) I have no interest in looking into CBT, only in asking Dr Google how much longer I've got left to live.

Having never tried it (or been offered it) I'm looking for other people's perspective. I'm massively open-minded about it and welcome the fact that I'm soon going for an evaluation (I feel like someone asked me to a prom ... ) in order that someone (a doctor I presume) can determine where to make a start.

Like many on the site my background is convoluted. Messy as a knotty ball of wool dropped in a treacle tin. Then the cat came out to play.

I'm also horribly honest with myself (not always helpful) - I don't consider myself to have health anxiety, rather it's a fear of death. Got that watching Bambi. That and my dad's attitude to a 5 year old child's existential questions, and his innate (and horrible) ability to tell a tall story that was always deeply embedded in doom, gloom and the Grim Reapers usually short but sweet visits.

There's the fear of heights (Southport circa 1975, rocking around on a Big Wheel - with my dad. Almost fell out). The dark - dad's tomfoolery, monsters under the bed, that kind of thing. Don't get me started on who's fault the spider phobia is.

Beyond that I've got a dreadful mother (decided I was unlovable. Out of 4 children), thrown out at 16, largely tormented/ignored 'til I stopped talking to her 5 years ago (that or bury her under her patio). I was pretty much abused from birth until 6 years ago. Lost a son. All kinds of other horrors have happened (I'm a bloody magnet for chaos and destruction) and you know, nothing dealt with is nothing gotten over. Or so I'm told.

Having recently been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, I can make sense of why I flat-lined at the weekend, having been told I have a freckle inside my eye which will probably be ok but sometimes turn cancerous. Naturally I focused on the death threat. I have it. No one's told me yet. I'm one of the 6 in 100,000 or whatever the odds are. I'm doomed.

So here I sit, waiting to die with my freckle. Is CBT likely to work for neurotic women in their mid 40's?

NB ... interesting that the system (is this a Vb forum? Not sure) has picked out tags and has decided one of them is 'kill'. See - even the bloody software this forum's run on knows I'm doomed.

[Rennie1989]

My dad was the cause of my OTT spider phobia too! And I too have a freckle in my eye (which I must get seen soon...)!

CBT works for more people then for those who don't. You do have homework to do after each session, which is related to your problems, which either gives the therapist an insight into what's wrong or gives YOU insight. The homework also consists of coping techniques which are encouraged for you to try out throughout the therapy.

There will be times where you'll have bad days though. I had one last Saturday when the session, the day before, brought up nasty memories that I had managed to shove down my subconscious. I was at work trying not to cry in front of my staff and customers. But days like that don't happen often. So bare this in mind.

Also, the more you put into the therapy, the more you get out of it. I wish you the best of luck with it :)

PS - haha, no you're not doomed, I've noticed weird tags on this forum!

[NoPoet]

Hmm... Andria, your post is enlightening. I used to suffer great distress at cartoon characters' mums dying (why do they do that in cartoons for very young children?). Yes, Bambi was definitely one film that made an impact. The other was that one with the dinosaur called Littlefoot. Oh, and Optimus Prime dying in the 1984 Transformers film. When I was a child, the idea of my mum dying was the worst thing possible. Still is, really.

Health anxiety is the fear of death, when you boil it down, but maybe not everyone with the fear of death has HA.

CBT can be very painful, especially when you discuss deep stuff and your feelings are not resolved in one session. People think that we can have an epic heart to heart like in the films and suddenly all that fear and distress is released forever. Real life doesn't work like that - it takes time to work through the bad stuff, but in the end, it can transform how you see yourself by normalising your experiences and teaching you that you are not as bad as you think you are.