Advice please

[Bekzie]

I am so stressed out and on the verge of breaking down!!
Its been a very stressful few weeks and is getting worse and worse, I'm trying my hardest to keep panic away but its not working.

I desperately need some advice on a personal matter, I have been single for 3 years but always had a friendly relationship with my ex because we have two children together. A few months ago I met someone and am now in a relationship with them although he lives 2 hours away we see each other every weekend, things are going great!

Since telling my ex about my new relationship he has flipped!!
For the first few weeks it was just trouble making and snide comments, being angry. Then he tried to win me back with emotional blackmail, flowers etc. Now I'm scared, he keeps threatening me, calling me awful names in front of my children and family, refusing to have my children on the weekends he is meant to have them, trying to control me.

This week things have gone from bad to worse, earlier he grabbed me, tried to hit me so I pushed him as hard as I could and ran away. He texts me threats, he says he will hurt me, kill my new boyfriend, screams, shouts. He has been violent towards me in the past so I am scared he will follow through with his threats.

I have looked into loggingthe incidents with police just so a record is kept but I worry they will go and see my ex and it will make things worse.

Any advice would be great!!

[Andria24]

It won't make anything worse. I'd say (from your account) that things have escalated pretty rapidly. Save the texts, visit the police, protect yourself. In the same situation the police were excellent (for me).

They installed a panic button, and I had one on my wrist 24/7. Do not sit back unless you're absolutely sure you're going to be ok. Let us know how you are and that you're ok Bekzie.

---------- Post added at 18:42 ---------- Previous post was at 18:41 ----------

And for the record, I pressed the button once (I was half asleep and thought I was turning the bedside lamp off) and the police arrived in a little over two minutes. Got a bit of shock when two big police men came crashing through the door :)

[Bekzie]

Thanks Andria sorry to hear you have been through this too.
When you went to the police did they contact your ex straight away?
I'm really thinking I should tell the police but its hard to know what to do for the best!!

[Andria24]

Yes they will. They'll arrest him, if what you say is what's happened. It used to be that you had some control but the early nineties changed that. Domestic violence ends in too many deaths and now the police have to be pro-active. They even profiled my ex and came and told me that I had a 40% chance of ending up dead. That was a good share, I have to say :huh:

Bottom line is that the choice is yours but again you have to factor in the escalation and his inability to control his actions and behaviour. Don't expose yourself to some all too real statistics Bekzie. If you make the decision to go ahead, talk with the officers about your fears. They are very good, and you will have a domestic violence unit in your area.

[Bekzie]

Thanks again Andria I am definitely going to contact the police today thanks to your advice. I hardly slept last night as everything has made my anxiety worse again and with my anxiety I I worry constantly about things so this is effecting me too badly now. Thank you again I really appreciate your advice!

[Andria24]

Bekzie let us/know how you go on - make sure you talk to someone that can also support you through, a friend, someone in your family :)