Feel like iv been handed a Death Sentence

[mike2512]

Hi,
No matter what I do I cannot get this fear of me having serious problems with my kidney out of my head.
Iv had this uncomfortable ache since June in me left side back just under my ribs, I had an ultrasound a few weeks ago and she said there is a possible kidney stone there.

I went to my gp the next day who said he wasn't concerned and he's had loads of kidney stones. I went again the day after that to see another doctor who again wasn't concerned.
I told him what the sonographer had said, and he said he is sure that it is a stone and if it was anything more sinister I'd be in hospital now, he told me that my bloods that I had done in July were perfect, again I don't believe him I think he's just trying to reassure me. He also remained convinced it's posture related back ache because I'm a taxi driver and sit for very long hours.
I went for physio on Tuesday and he said its definitely posture related pain.

I just can't accept it.

The sonographer said I would need further diagnostics yet the doctor has said I don't need it?

When I'm exercising I don't feel anything infact it feels great it's when I stop the ache returns and especially hurts if I press the area.

Iv also checked previous blood tests going back to 2010 and my GFR result has been as low as 82 and after googling that suggests kidney disease.

The ache is also worse when I'm working and stressed to the max I can feel it aching and pressing it really hurts.

I'm positive eventually they will realise there is a problem but it will be to late and il die and never see my kids again.

[skippy66]

Read this, and relax: http://www.healthanxietyhq.com/reassurance/

[Andria24]

Hey Mike - you're ok, you know? Can you go back to your doctor and discuss the anxiety? That's the bigger issue here. A peaceful mind would make much better sense of the information.

I know this because I'm the same right now. I'm sat assuming the worst from something last Saturday and I know that the anxiety has made me receive the information differently. Or maybe process it differently. It's not good but I can accept that, even if I can't accept that I'm probably going to be ok.

Your fear is related to dying, not your health, and that's the underlying issue. And that's ok because many of us are the same. Go speak with your doctor, make this the 'thing' that you focus on. This is the key to your wellness :hugs:

[Fishmanpa]

"I just can't accept it."

Therein is the issue. What's troubling is that you can and do accept the fear. In fact, I dare say you embrace it.

From an outsiders perspective, what seems so totally logical is completely ignored by those that suffer from HA and anxiety.

"I just can't accept it."

That is the statement and catalyst for anxiety and what actually feeds it. If you actually had a disease and were told that eating donuts would feed the disease and cause you more harm, would you continue to eat donuts? This is the same thing. If you were told that accepting that you're not physically ill meant addressing your anxiety issues, what would you do?

Kidney stones do suck no doubt, but they can be addressed and taken care of. It's not life threatening by any means. What IS threatening to your life are your anxiety issues. If you love your children and want to be there for them, address that. Constant worrying and fear takes you away from them mentally and emotionally and can and will affect them negatively.

I do hope the light turns on and something that has been said on the boards opens your eyes to what the real issue is. We all have aches and pains. We all face physical and medical issues in our lives. In the mean time, enjoy the blessings!

Good Luck, positive thoughts and prayers.

[Brunette]

I don't believe him I think he's just trying to reassure me.

Ask yourself if a health professional would really not tell you that you have a serious disease just to spare your feelings.

Do you honestly believe that? Because that's the part of your post I have problems with.

If he thought there was anything wrong you'd be referred for treatment. If he didn't, he'd lose his job. In fact he wouldn't even be a doctor in the first place would he?

I can understand that when you have HA it's difficult to apply logic to your own health but surely you can apply it to this?

[catherineinky]

a kidney stone can cause some bad pain.. you need to go back to the doctor. my husband had one. They are not fun.