lass
30-10-06, 14:53
I feel the need for someone to talk to and I don't really know how to explain myself to people who aren't like me!
I have a very understanding friend, but she's on holiday, and I've been having counselling (had 3 sessions fortnightly) but unfortunately my counsellor has cancelled my last 3 sessions due to holiday and then something unforeseen last week, so I haven't had my counselling for a couple of months now.
Anyway, I've been feeling up and down lately; had a few good weeks, then a few awful weeks where I just convinced myself something had been overlooked in all my tests for IBS and it must be something worse, then I started feeling better again.
Now I'm feeling really low again and this time it's because of something my little boy said yesterday. I have to explain, even though you will think I'm completely mental, but it just feels like a premonition. Last night he was really upset, sobbing his heart out, and eventually told me it was because he doesn't want to be a grown up (he's 5!), because he won't know what to do. I just had this really horrible feeling that this meant that he won't live to be a grown up, don't ask me why, just a really horrible feeling.
Then I sat down to watch Royle Family last night, thinking it'd cheer me up, and I ended up in floods of tears watching them saying goodbye to Nanna!
Then this morning my little boy is listening to 1, 2, buckle my shoe, and start singing "I'm going to heaven" - didn't sing anything else, just that bit, over and over.
I just can't get it out of my head that it's some kind of premonition and I can't tell you how scared I am.
Can anyone help me out here? I know it probably sounds irrational.
I have a very understanding friend, but she's on holiday, and I've been having counselling (had 3 sessions fortnightly) but unfortunately my counsellor has cancelled my last 3 sessions due to holiday and then something unforeseen last week, so I haven't had my counselling for a couple of months now.
Anyway, I've been feeling up and down lately; had a few good weeks, then a few awful weeks where I just convinced myself something had been overlooked in all my tests for IBS and it must be something worse, then I started feeling better again.
Now I'm feeling really low again and this time it's because of something my little boy said yesterday. I have to explain, even though you will think I'm completely mental, but it just feels like a premonition. Last night he was really upset, sobbing his heart out, and eventually told me it was because he doesn't want to be a grown up (he's 5!), because he won't know what to do. I just had this really horrible feeling that this meant that he won't live to be a grown up, don't ask me why, just a really horrible feeling.
Then I sat down to watch Royle Family last night, thinking it'd cheer me up, and I ended up in floods of tears watching them saying goodbye to Nanna!
Then this morning my little boy is listening to 1, 2, buckle my shoe, and start singing "I'm going to heaven" - didn't sing anything else, just that bit, over and over.
I just can't get it out of my head that it's some kind of premonition and I can't tell you how scared I am.
Can anyone help me out here? I know it probably sounds irrational.