Not sure if anyone can help, but ....

[lass]

I feel the need for someone to talk to and I don't really know how to explain myself to people who aren't like me!

I have a very understanding friend, but she's on holiday, and I've been having counselling (had 3 sessions fortnightly) but unfortunately my counsellor has cancelled my last 3 sessions due to holiday and then something unforeseen last week, so I haven't had my counselling for a couple of months now.

Anyway, I've been feeling up and down lately; had a few good weeks, then a few awful weeks where I just convinced myself something had been overlooked in all my tests for IBS and it must be something worse, then I started feeling better again.

Now I'm feeling really low again and this time it's because of something my little boy said yesterday. I have to explain, even though you will think I'm completely mental, but it just feels like a premonition. Last night he was really upset, sobbing his heart out, and eventually told me it was because he doesn't want to be a grown up (he's 5!), because he won't know what to do. I just had this really horrible feeling that this meant that he won't live to be a grown up, don't ask me why, just a really horrible feeling.

Then I sat down to watch Royle Family last night, thinking it'd cheer me up, and I ended up in floods of tears watching them saying goodbye to Nanna!

Then this morning my little boy is listening to 1, 2, buckle my shoe, and start singing "I'm going to heaven" - didn't sing anything else, just that bit, over and over.

I just can't get it out of my head that it's some kind of premonition and I can't tell you how scared I am.

Can anyone help me out here? I know it probably sounds irrational.

[Dan21]

Hi CK,

I think what you are doing is called pattern matching. Its a thought process where you kind of subconciously look for things that fit your theory and when you see something, you kind of go 'Wow, it must be true because I'm geting all these signs'. But while you are aware of the things that appear to be bad, you loose the sense of perspective that others have.

I do this ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time. Honestly.

Have a look at the link below and bare in mind we anxiety suffers tend to look on the downside.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pattern_matching

I bet your son will be driving you crazy in 12 years time, borrowing money and keeping his bedroom a tip!!!!!

Dan

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I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'

Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.

That would be nice.

[Piglet]

The guys answered that beautifully and since I do the same 'creative' thinking from time to time I found their replies very reassuring.

I suspect if you are anything like me you know deep down you're getting a bit carried away but need someone to stop the flow for you.

Well that's my flow stopped :D

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[lass]

Thank you so much everyone! I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster at the moment - one minute I'm up and everything's great, then the next minute I come crashing down :(. My head's just whizzing with irrational thoughts, but I knew I had to stop dwelling on that one.

All your comments help, but how do I STOP doing it?

My counselling (when I get it!) helps me to understand why I behave like I do, but so far nothing to help me cope with it or change my behaviour.

Any ideas, anyone?

[leanne1980]

hiya

i have to confess i do this, im so scared to have another baby coz i cant see my life with another child, sad or what ey. i cant picture another person in our house/family so im scared incase its a premonition that its no to be, but when i look on it with my good head on, its probably me just being scared full stop, ie being in hospital and going through the 9 months of the constant dr's and hospital, do u know what i wouldnt say i was a morbid person really but i even picture my own funeral, i mean is this normal? i think that most people are like this but dont say it, the key is how to handle it, thats what defines normal i suppose.

leanne xxxx

i just wanna feel normal

[Dan21]

If only we knew who to stop the thoughts!!! Thats the million dollar question I guess.....



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I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'

Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.

That would be nice.

[lass]

I know, I do think that deep down even "normal" people have the same fears as me, but I think the difference is that they don't dwell on it. I seem to get an idea in my head and I can't let it go until it has completely destroyed me!

I was kind of hoping someone would come along with a good way of getting rid of negative thoughts before they take control ......

[ksmith]

Hi CK

I read a book called Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers which I found helpful to deal with those death doom and pestulance thoughts. She says the only security we have in this life is to be able to deal with what ever comes our way; to develop the capacity to say, OK, I can handle this. So, when I start to think bad things, I think, well, if it does happen, I can handle it.

Can't say I've mastered it but it certainly gave me food for thought ...

Kay x

[lass]

Thanks Kay, I'll give that book a try.

[Allie]

[Yeah!]May I also recommend Embracing uncertainty, also by susan jeffers. There's a chapter that specifically deals with fear and facing upto death.

;)You cried at the Royale family too! So did I! From my point of view I think it was due to the fact that it was unbelievably sad and real at the same time. It made me imagine what it would truely be like to lose a parent, somethin at the age of nearly 22, I've never really thought about before!

Take care,

A :)

THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD IS NOT THE VOICE OF GOD. IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE IT THINKS IT IS! Cheri Huber