Raphaels
12-10-13, 10:20
Hello, All.
I have been anxious most of my life. At 60 I feel my life is gone. I have 5 sons all adults and a loving husband. That's me. However, in between anxieties I have had several businesses. But now I'm at home vegetating. My life has past me by. For the past 25 years I have had anxieties over my bowel, stomach, throat, chemical allergies, I fear my heart is going to stop. I truly believe I'm going to gave a heart attack. This occurs more when my stomach flares up. I think because my friend had stomach issues then it turned out to be her heart. But I know it's because of other problems she has. The same for another friend. So I believe when my stomach flares up its because they gave not diagnosed me properly. So anxiety at the moment us awful. This bout started last year after my son had his 3rd heart op. So it's quite traumatic for me. I nearly list him. I feel my life us full of trauma. I so wish I could be as others. I do not rake needs except omeprazole and bendroflumethiazide. CBT is ongoing. But it us about to finish. I truly want to be transferred to the Marston hospital. But there us no way this us going to happen. Health anxiety is so boring an ailment. It sounds better than hypochondriac though!! I had convinced myself I was really unwell but actually I'm quite healthy. I just need to believe it. I fear life itself. It is so unpredictable. And believe me if anything is going to go wrong it will for me. I actually scared of living and laughing because life will smack me in the face like a wet fish. So is it better to be where I am in misery or of I take the brave step and go for life. Even if it kills me. The only positive thing I have managed to do for myself is to learn to swim. I also fear exercising in case I have a heart attack. So exercise is limited. As long as I do not feel my heart pounding I'm fine. What a bore I am.
I have been anxious most of my life. At 60 I feel my life is gone. I have 5 sons all adults and a loving husband. That's me. However, in between anxieties I have had several businesses. But now I'm at home vegetating. My life has past me by. For the past 25 years I have had anxieties over my bowel, stomach, throat, chemical allergies, I fear my heart is going to stop. I truly believe I'm going to gave a heart attack. This occurs more when my stomach flares up. I think because my friend had stomach issues then it turned out to be her heart. But I know it's because of other problems she has. The same for another friend. So I believe when my stomach flares up its because they gave not diagnosed me properly. So anxiety at the moment us awful. This bout started last year after my son had his 3rd heart op. So it's quite traumatic for me. I nearly list him. I feel my life us full of trauma. I so wish I could be as others. I do not rake needs except omeprazole and bendroflumethiazide. CBT is ongoing. But it us about to finish. I truly want to be transferred to the Marston hospital. But there us no way this us going to happen. Health anxiety is so boring an ailment. It sounds better than hypochondriac though!! I had convinced myself I was really unwell but actually I'm quite healthy. I just need to believe it. I fear life itself. It is so unpredictable. And believe me if anything is going to go wrong it will for me. I actually scared of living and laughing because life will smack me in the face like a wet fish. So is it better to be where I am in misery or of I take the brave step and go for life. Even if it kills me. The only positive thing I have managed to do for myself is to learn to swim. I also fear exercising in case I have a heart attack. So exercise is limited. As long as I do not feel my heart pounding I'm fine. What a bore I am.