Anxiety beating me down this week

[Round in circles]

New poster here, trying to stop myself freaking out.

I'm a natural worrier and have had health anxiety for a long time. This week is the worst it's ever been, hands down.

Right now I'm feeling terrible. Headache, dizziness, nausea, fever, chills, the works. I know it's most likely a virus. A bog standard non life threatening virus, but my goodness, the sense of terror I'm experiencing over this is extreme.

It all started with a uti 8 days ago. I was diagnosed and given antibiotics which I took. After initially feeling better, I got worse again with the same symptoms I have now. Doc thought it was possibly going to my kidney so gave me a different antibiotic. After just one dose I had really bad side effects which freaked me out and didn't want to take any more. Waited a day, felt worse and got the antibiotic changed. After feeling weird after taking the new antibiotic I ended up taking a trip to the hospital.

When I was there they said the tests for the uti were now clear and what I have is viral. I was relieved that I could stop the pills. Thing is, I'm still sick and the constant worry has worn my nerves so badly. I just want to cry. I just want to be (physically) well so I can feel safe again.

I really, really want to feel safe again.

[JC04]

Sending you hugs! It sounds like you've had a real up and down week with your health and anxiety. This is why your anxiety has sky-rocketed. I know it's hard to believe but you are safe and you will be feeling physically well very soon. Hang on in there and you will feel better soon x

[Round in circles]

Thanks so much for that nice reply. I fell asleep for ages, but it was so nice to read that when I woke up. Feeling a bit calmer thankfully. The fever has gone down again which is helping me relax a bit. Hope it stays away this time!

So glad I worked up the nerve to post here instead of all that panic doing a number on me.

Thanks again :)

[Karol.Papis]

Hi, saying that you are a 'natural worrier' implies you have been born with it, whereas evidence suggests that is not the way things work. From the CBT perspective, you may have adopted worrying as a habit, the same way as you learned that you are supposed to say 'hi' when you pass by a familiar person on the street. I bet you cannot pinpoint when exactly and how exactly you learned both of these habits :) Life experience makes some of us more likely to experience anxiety, and then all is needed is a 'good' trigger for it (the reason to feel worried about sth)... I know feeling anxious for a longer period of time can be totally physically exhausting, may feel dizzy, may be hard to concentrate, remember stuff, ect so it makes sense how you described it...

[Round in circles]

Hey Karol, I guess when I say I'm a born worrier, it's due to having asperger's syndrome. Anxiety kind of goes hand in hand with that. I feel like I hardly ever know what I'm meant to be doing most of the time. I think that's been a big source of anxiety, along with having difficulty decoding my body's signals.

Right now for example I'm pretty sure I'm a little dehydrated as I'm regularly forgetting to drink enough water due to not feeling thirsty. I feel like I spend so much time asking my mum how to know when something is really wrong, because I honestly can't tell for most part. I got super dehydrated one year and had no clue until I woke up with intense stomach pains and ended up on a drip overnight in hospital.

I get so scared of every weird sensation in my body, never knowing if it's something that needs seen to, or something normal that everyone else gets too. I felt really worried going to the doc the other day. This voice in my head kept saying that I was probably wasting his time despite having a pain in my leg that made me wince every time I put weight on it. 'Fortunately' it turned out to be something that warranted a trip to the doc. I don't remember the exact diagnosis. Something about a ligament and inflammation, and walking away with some paracetamol and Piroxicam gel.

I'm sorry that I'm waffling. I'm scared, and I'm tired of feeling scared and alone. I wish I could get a big hug from my mum, which probably sounds daft seeing as I'm 36 years old, but from a very young age I've found it near impossible to even hold hands with any of my family, never mind a hug. My personal boundaries are crazy big. Most of the time mum thinks I'm ridiculous anyway.

Yeah.. This is turning into a whine. I'm sorry. Just tired I guess. Shutting up now.

[eastofeden]

Hi there, i had a uti 2 weeks ago, i had chills too and felt generally horrible.

i was terrified there would be complications but thankfully antibiotics cleared it up.
actually, the antibiotics gave me a terrible headache and aching limbs and dizziness too. i had to go to hospital too because it felt like my head would explode! but the uti had cleared up by then.

do you think they could have given you some side effects? i had pain in my back and ribs and thought it was my kidneys but test came back clear.

don't worry, im sure it will pass.

[Round in circles]

I'm actually worried that maybe the ligament problem is due to taking the ciproflaxacin, but I'm trying to convince myself that I'm being stupid. I feel kind of foolish even admitting it. I do still seem to have intermittent sun sensitivity in my eyes though. Some afternoons I can't even sit in the house with the curtains open because my eyes just sting like crazy. Funny thing is though that it doesn't happen every day. The other big thing is my health anxiety and general fear levels seem to have stayed abnormally high (even for me). I really hope this stuff calms down again soon.

I just hope I get lucky and never have to take another antibiotic ever again. I hate those things so much.

[Karol.Papis]

Hi again, I am sorry if I sounded somewhat ignorant there. I know what Asperger's syndrome is and I am aware it makes it harder to make changes to certain ways of doing things (please correct me if I am wrong). I do agree that doing things on your own may be hard, but do you have anyone (family/friends) who could give you a helpful hand? I do not think your age matters, it is more important how you feel and what you think you need to be happy :) If you think someone would be happy to help you, you can tell them in advance how exactly you would like them to help you :)

[Round in circles]

Hey Karol, I hope I didn't come across like I was aiming my frustrations at you. I'm really sorry if I did, it was totally unintended. I was having a rough night in my previous post and I guess I was grumpy!

I don't really have any support from family except for mum, and she can't help me right now as my Grandma, her mother, has just died and she's got loads on her plate right now what with organising the funeral arrangements etc.

Pretty much my whole family pretends that I'm fine because it makes them feel better. My sister knows I can't even go out to celebrate new year, and yet refuses to spend one single Hogmanay with me. Unfortunately that's how my family is. Eh.. Who needs em!

[SarahH]

Hi there,

I can relate to the family thing big time...you are not alone in having a family that pretend that it's all ok:)

About your viral thing...its sounds a bit like Post Viral Fatigue...dont worry that's not a scary thing:D It's just to reassure you that with time, rest, eating well and support from your friends (and that includes NMP) this will pass....trust me I was there in March and many others on here have been where you are right now..................lots of rest and look into Mindfulness on the internet it may help you get rid of those negative thoughts.

Sarah