relaxation?

[tricia56]

hi don't know if its just me but ive been anxuiose all day as usual and I went and
done my deep breathing and tense muscle relaxation but when I finished doing it I felt worse than I did before starting it, I know its might sound a silly question to ask people but can it make you feel worse as i did feel quite anxiouse afterwards and thought maybe I shouldn't do the relaxation if it makes me feel worse, I do seem to over analize every thought or feeling and dwell one it so anyone can elate to this or give me any advice id be very grateful thk you

[NoPoet]

Maybe because you were experiencing slightly more anxiety than usual, so your normal coping strategy wasn't quite enough today. Don't ever think your coping strategy has stopped working just because of one blip. You may have had some unconscious negative thoughts running in the background that your subconscious heard, or maybe you didn't expect it to work today.

Always remember it's normal to have blips where your symptoms are temporarily stronger, but these tend to cancel themselves out and you can banish them quicker with self-help. Try repeating to yourself over and over that you are healthy and safe. Train yourself over a period of time to trust your own reassurance. It makes a big difference.

[tricia56]

hi poet thk you for your kind advice and I will take it on board also you have just made me realise that my big problem is not reassuring myself and I find that so hard to do and believing in myself and to be very honest I don't know how too so instead I look for reassurance from every one else all the time so thk you

[NoPoet]

Gaah, just typed a big reply but lost it somehow!

If you rely on others to "complete" you and take your problems away, your main issue is going to be a problem with your sense of identity. This is fundamental to who you are, so it's going to create a lot of problems with self-esteem, confidence and relating to others.

Your aim is to create a strong sense of self by taking ownership of your recovery and learning to trust yourself. Ultimately, other people can't fix this for you; anxiety sufferers must face this themselves as the only way out of anxiety is going straight through it and it's the only way to make sure you aren't excessively vulnerable in future.

You should constantly repeat to yourself, out loud or in your head, that you are healthy, you are normal and you are safe. When anxiety hits you like the waves of a storm at sea, relax, take deep breaths and no matter how scary the anxiety seems, don't face it down, instead just let go and say "It's just anxiety, there is nothing to fear".

Your objectives are:

1. To accept that you're in charge of your own destiny and you can trust and rely on yourself, come what may. Other people can still help, so don't be shy of getting support when you need it, but in time your first reaction will be to deal with problems yourself rather than running to someone else. This can be really satisfying and will benefit you in ways you can't imagine yet.

2. To train yourself over a period of time to recognise the "waves" of fear as they come in, and to soothe and relax your body so it isn't always taught and wound up, as that depletes your energy, summons anxiety waves and makes them hit you harder when they come. In time, this recognition and relaxation will become your reflex action. You'll be better-educated about your anxiety and your body and mind will be trained NOT to respond so unhelpfully when anxiety does come.