How do i know this is OCD? Pregnant intrusive thoughts

[Lyndz1]

I am 24 weeks pregnant and after my dating scan i started getting a fear that i cheated whilst drunk and my husband isnt the father of our child. The thoughts feel so real now and i am getting false memories now. How cab i tell the difference between rational and irrational thoughts? I feel so guilty even though i woukd never cheat on my husband as i love him more than anything

[sweety_pie]

I actually joined this forum after reading this post! I'm not pregnant, but I have the EXACT same thoughts, so I am pretty sure it's just OCD. I have nightmares about cheating and it takes me awhile after I wake-up to convince myself it's not real. I've cried watching people cheat on TV. Sometimes I avoid the company of my fiance because I get these fake memories of cheating on him in the past and I'm scared I will start thinking they are real and tell him they are real even though they aren't. I get scared about being around men at all in person because I'm scared I will feel at all attracted to them and that it means that I will cheat on my fiance.

At least for me, all of it stems from a fear of losing my fiance and the fact that basically he said the only way he'd ever leave me is if I cheated on him.

[Rennie1989]

A lot of my anxious thoughts are like this. I worry that I haven't done something even though I know I have i.e. checking the door is locked. My worst one to date was the fear of having HIV or some form of STI that would make me infertile and spreading it to my husband, even though I hadn't had unprotected sex before meeting him and showed no symptoms.

They are by no doubt a horrible thing to experience but you have to accept the thoughts, fighting them off makes them worse. Keep reminding yourself that the baby is 100% his, you have not been unfaithful and everything will be fine. It's hard at first but the more you do it the easier it gets.

[yenool]

They are by no doubt a horrible thing to experience but you have to accept the thoughts, fighting them off makes them worse.

I agree with this as in my experience the more you try to argue/reason/logic with unwanted intrusive and obsessional thoughts the more persistent and troublesome they become. When I did CBT in the past I found coming up with realistic or non distorted thoughts to counter/challenge the obsessional ones was initially helpful, but in the long run mentally 'saying' realistic replacements and coming up with evidence to counter the OCD thoughts ended up becoming an OCD ritual in itself! Now I try and let the thoughts come and go rather than engaging with them.

"What if I somehow sleepwalked or did something terrible when I was drunk"... "What if I accidentally ran someone over in my car without realising it"... etc, etc, etc.

This is classic OCD style thoughts in my opinion. The key phrase is usually 'what if' and that what if can never be ruled out 100% (always some room for doubt) which is why it is important to learn to let the thoughts come and go without getting emotionally attached with them. They are 'just' random thoughts that have no real meaning.

[Lyndz1]

Thank you for your replies. It is so hard to think rationally. I now have been thinking that all my family and friends know that i cheated but wont say anything to me and are keeping it a secret and talking behind my back. Even when i get texts from people i think they are against me. Or the way people look at me. I think omg they know i cheated. But deep down i WOULD NEVER cheat on my husband. He is the most important person in the world to me, him and our unborn baby. I need to stop these thoughts ASAP

[sweety_pie]

Thank you for your replies. It is so hard to think rationally. I now have been thinking that all my family and friends know that i cheated but wont say anything to me and are keeping it a secret and talking behind my back. Even when i get texts from people i think they are against me. Or the way people look at me. I think omg they know i cheated. But deep down i WOULD NEVER cheat on my husband. He is the most important person in the world to me, him and our unborn baby. I need to stop these thoughts ASAP

I think a lot of OCD thoughts are about what horrifies you the most. We obsess over it because it's so repulsive to us. It's like when someone watches a horror movie and something disturbing or gross happens in it and they can't get it out of their head. It bothered them so much that they can't stop thinking about it.

I totally understand what you are going through and am thankful someone can understand some of what I am going through, too.

The idea of cheating disturbs both of us so much that we're fixated on it, I think. If that makes sense.

[October12]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. The saving grace is you KNOW it's not real; it's irrational. However, it sure feels real. I totally get it.

Sheryl Paul offers an online motherhood e-course for things just like this. I'm a member of her wedding e-course. Check out conscious-transitions.com. She's brilliant and will help shed light on why these thoughts pop up.

[Lyndz1]

I really appreciate all your replies. I have actually got a specific person in my mind that i "cheated" with. ( my husbands friend) he tried it on with me last year and i was so upset and told my husband as i felt disgusted that he would do that to his friend. I also keep thinking if i really did cheat i would have been devastated afterwards and even though i was drunk i would remember the next day. I know i would be feeling so guilty

[Lyndz1]

Anyone? I'm still having these awful thoughts