My Story.....

[CCFCBoy]

I am a teenager 18, I am in my second year in college, I am doing an IT course, because I like computers and technology.

Growing up, I was a very quiet lad, I had real problems trying to make friends and trying to fit in. I have a stammer, which I have had for as long as I can remember. Then, when I was in school was I picked on like crazy, mainly by lads, but sometimes girls did it as well. Most of the bullying was done by lads who were popular, who were sporty & they seemed to have it all! I was a very good boy in school & I never misbehaved. The bullys would call me names, take the mick out of my stutter, spread rumors round that I was gay, which is true! luckily the bullying never was physical. What I did notice is that when they were on their own they would be nice to me, but when they were with their friends they would bully me. There were alot of cliches in school! As my school years went on the bullying sort of stopped, but the general perception of me went on. I think I was their eyes "geeky" so that basically was a label which I had throughout school.

Fast forward to 2013, I do have a few close friends which I hang about with mainly in college and one friend who I've been friends with since school. I get jealous of alot people because I keep on thinking "I bet their upbringing was perfect" "I bet he's cool!" I get particularly jealous of young footballers who are signed to football teams as well, which brings me on to my next point:-

I wasn't very sporty, my favorite sport is football I can never remember my dad ever taking me to a training session or anything like that & I wasn't particularly any good at it! In school, in PE, the teachers were not very good, there would berate you and make you feel useless, most of this was probably aimed at me! Part of me really wants to have a go at learning to play football, but I don't know where to start, I couldn't really see myself going to a training session for any teams round where I live because alot of the people who used to bully me in school are on them, so that's out really. Part of me always wonders if I was more sporty, would I have been bullied less in school?

I never really had a lots of "lad" friends because noone really liked me in school.

I do get depressed sometimes because I think quite alot "If I had played football would I have not been bullied" "If I didn't have a stammer wouldn't I have been bullied" "Some people have it all"

I do have have angry outbursts sometimes and I do take it out on my parents which I know that I shouldn't do.

Some questions I would like to know are:-

Why was I bullied?
If I had played football, would I have not been bullied?
How can I learn and start playing football?
How can I become more confident?
How can I put the past behind me & move on?

If you want to know more, or to talk to me, your very welcome to PM me! :D

[Rennie1989]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Your story sounds very similar to mine when I was at school, not sporty, a 'geek' and picked on by the popular kids (guys and girls). It was a hard time so I understand how you're feeling.

Nobody here will know why you were bullied, I'm sorry. But what's the benefit in knowing? What will it change? It has happened and you have to move on from it. I know it is hard to move on from something like this, I'm 23 and I still get angry about it, but if you don't it will only eat you up from the inside. Be yourself, if you're a geek then you're a geek! There's nothing wrong in being smart and having interests. If you want to play football then maybe ask your friends to have a kick around in the park.

[I'mdave27]

I suggest reading eckhart tolle , antwone fishers book or the art of happiness

[suki300]

Sports can make you more confident, but I think children know who to target. Body language etc - they know if you are insecure about something - so if your reaction had been "so what - I've got a stammer" and they really thought you weren't bothered - they would have targeted the next guy. They knew it got to you

My 9 year old plays football and I can tell you that there are plenty of boys he knows who play in the team an aren't confident. He wants to be a professional footballer, but children his age are already usually spotted by scouts. What put me off is the fact that it is harsh - you can be dropped at any age and as careers in football tend to end young, the prison rate for footballers is quite high. Something like one in 7 - it's not such a wonderful life.

I think it's interesting how you perceive other people to have perfect lives. Because it leads me to ask you - why do bullies do what they do? No-one bullies because they are happy - they do it because they are incredibly insecure.

I think you should look into the football thing, but there are also many other sports you could try. a martial art, anything.

I wonder as well, whether these lads might have grown up a bit now and be past the bullying stage? Would it be worth trying one session just to see? I would think it would be pretty pathetic of them, if they still in the name calling stage and I think rather than seeing it as your fault, i think you need to get rid of what they've put on you and see the fact the needed to do that as their problem.

We all have a tendency to concentrate on our own flaws and we forget that other people have them too. A stutter might be huge to you, but people don't really think anything of it - I've know loads of people with stutters. Most people are too wrapped up in their own problems to notice.

Anyhow, back onto the football. I'm wondering if your mates would have a kick about in the park with you. Or you could ring up your local leisure centre and see if there is anything they have on? They might be able to tell you if there's something you're are looking for. I'm sure it's a case of just asking around.

Alternatively - how about sticking a poster up somewhere and asking for people similar to you who want to play regular football (I mean who are adult, but at a low level and would like to just play to help improve their skills.