Intrusive thoughts back and stronger. Are these normal impulses?

[HappyAce]

I was doing great for a month. School was back so my mind was preoccupied with that. Suddenly though I've been having bad impulses again. This time it's not really sexual ones as much, but self harm mostly. I had a nail in my hand yesterday while hanging up a picture when I all of a sudden had the urge to swallow it. I knew what would happen and didnt want to do it. but the impulse was really freaking me out. i put down the nail and waited a few minutes to come back.Not to many days after that I was shaving and I got the urge to run the blade across my tongue. I also think about death. I scare myself so bad thinking that after death my thoughts and dreams will just stop. I was recently hunting as well. Had a fun in my hand and I thought about shooting the people I was with. I WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DO SUCH A THING. But my brain was just like, what if? Looking back I think, "why did I even think that?" But at the time it was really nerve racking. I noticed also I'm checking stoves and plugged in a appliance before I sleep or:D go to school. EVERYTHING must be off.

[harasgenster]

Hi, I used to have obsessive thoughts like this. My obsessive thoughts included things such as 'am I lesbian?', 'I'm going to kill myself and I don't want to' and 'I'm going to kill this baby/puppy'. I had extremely vivid images and thoughts about all of them, showing me exactly how I would kill the child etc, and, like you, I would walk away from the situation to stop it from happening. I once got my mother to hide all the knives in the house because I was very concerned I would kill myself, which was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had such strong impulses it was difficult to ignore.

I went to a counsellor and was told that this is extremely common among anxiety patients - not even just OCD patients - because it's a kind of 'call of the void' where you have impulses to do exactly what you fear the most. Apparently it's relatively common for new mothers with anxiety to have vivid thoughts of killing their own children (which must be horrible).

Basically, this is normal for someone with anxiety. The best thing to do is DON'T walk away. You won't do something you don't want to do - even though you feel like you're not in control, you absolutely are. I know that's difficult, but removing yourself from the situation will make it worse, so try to stay in the 'danger zone', if you like, while trying to remain aware that there is no actual danger.

But do get to therapy as well, if you're not already. It's not nice to have this happen to you.