Had enough :'(

[LolaBee6]

Im having such a bad week .
Cant sleep but no one believes me .
Seriously !! My partner says I do sleep but I dont .
I watch films on Lovefilm when he sleeps as Im widos and I paint.
I try to read sometimes too.
Ive had about 16 hours sleep in 8 days.
Im mentally trying to fight away suicidal thoughts.
My partner says hes had enough as all I do is sleep or feel down.
Hes not breaking up with me , yet. As far as I know , but after 3 years and 7 months I thought he would understand.
He went through depression and suicidal thoghts in college . But its like Im not allowed to be ill.

My mother says Im constantly adding on problems to her and will put her in an early grave.
My Drs are changing my meds next Tues too so I know that wont help this right now.

I thought about taking an over dose earlier. I thought those thoughts had gone away for good . But theyre back :'(

I cant tell anyone though as they call me pathetic.
Im in tears , Ive just broken down and hit rock bottom , I dont know what to do anymore :'(

[Hayley1982]

Hey Hun
What medication is ur doctor changing u to? Would u be able to go see him and tell him how desperate u feel at the moment. Do u know what's making u soo low? Please don't do anything silly. I understand how ur feeling tho I'm in a desperate state and can't cope with the world. I've just gone back on olanzapine.
If u need to chat I'm allways about feel free to pm me or I can give u my number to text.
Take care loads of hugs Hayley xxx

[LolaBee6]

Hi , thank you for replying.
I am ok. Still on a major low and have no idea why.
I had a total melt down with my fiance the other day. He ended up understanding how hard it is for me when I told him that I wanted to OD .... I cried for ages with him.
I have no idea what meds Im being changed to. Hopefully something that will work and stick :/
Im thinkig about trying CBT classes ?
My friend finds them very helpful and Ive heard nothing but good about them.
Im just very nervous.
Feeling ill 24/7 is just awful :( x

[hoppipolla]

Hm, that sucks :( I'm sorry things feel like that.

Do you feel like there is really no reason at all for you to feel down? Sometimes I wonder if in people who seem to have no trigger at all, it's something like diet or something else that is underlying and one wouldn't think to suspect.

Sleep is so important though to feel right, so that might be creating a vicious circle. I don't really sleep enough either though ._.

[cat85pink]

Hi

Im sorry you are feeling so down & thinking of. OD,

The fact youve had so little sleep will be playing a big part in how you feel, a good nights sleep wont fix everything but it will help make you feel more human,

Relationships are really had when you have depression hopefully your partner is starting to understand, the things that got me through we're my husbands support, there were times when he struggled or went out & wanted to please himself, & he couldn't as I wasn't eating so my mum rang me to see how I was, I said really bad, so she'd come round every day when he was at work and make sure I was ok, she also came to the doctors with me, ive never felt so broken,

Not eating didn't help, you do need a healthy diet, & fresh air, for your body to function properly,

I don't take medication anymore, im not depressed, but im aware there are days when I worry im slipping back, but that could just be my anxiety, if only the anxiety & panic attacks would go,

If you need to talk im here

Hugs xx

[LolaBee6]

Sorry about the late reply .

I have been put on new medication now :)
I am feeling a little better on them so far ... Its only been a week though !!
They're Venlalic XL 75mg
Only on one a day at the moment but my Dr wants to see me on the 12th November and up them if I am still ok on them :)

I think the Fluoxitine made me feel worse to be honest :/
It made me REALLY depressed.
Since being on these my moods have picked up and I am sleeping a little bit more .... Not much but its something and I have only been on the for about a week :) So they still haven't fully kicked in yet .... Fingers crossed everything keeps working lol

I'll keep updating as much as I can :) xxx