I have know one!

[Kez_miller]

I'm just feeling very lonely right now. I literally have no1. My own family hate me n have no love left for me (their words) they just abuse me each and ever day. I have no real friends that I see. N just have no1 to talk too! I don't know how it's got too this. I use to have a big circle of friends. A family who would help me no matter what and it's just vanished over the last 4 years. I sometimes don't see the point in carrying on with life. But then I think maybe god has a plan for me? Maybe he's testing me for a better future! I'm so down it's un real! I'm not a bad person am I? I'm compassionate. I'll help people when they need to be helped. I'll give advice to the best of my ability and I'd never want to see anyone struggle. And I certainly wouldn't want anyone to be in my position. Surely good karma is right around the corner. Thing is I've stayed positive and strong for far to long with nothing in return. My grandparents (wo raised me from birth) have joined in the abuse and saying they hate me and they know I'm struggling but they just keep saying. "We gave you all the money u wanted when u were younger" (I'm 22 now) but I've never bad the love. I've never been shown real love. I tried to kill myself 6 months ago n no1 cared. No1 wanted to see how I was or anything. Is rather have gone through life with no money n all the live in the world. But I guess some people just are not worth loving.

[Dafyddjohndavies]

What you need is a change of perspecitve.

Your really down, feel like your family hates you, feel like there's no point in life, and have suicidal thoughts.

Now you can look at this from two angles, either look at it the way you are and continue to feel beaten and down, or try and look at it this way:

You are now at a point where death seems preferable to life. If you think about it you have reached the point where you are now free to do whatever you want to do without worry. Because next to anything you decide to do, death is always worse. The only way is up!!!

Personally I say do something radical, just because well f**k it you can. Go abroad and experience working away (I can give a lot of advice with this). If as you say your family hate you then you have no one to dissapoint, or to upset. Your free in many ways that a lot of people aren't. You need to see this as an opportunity to go a bit wild and just think about yourself for a change. Screw everyone else.

Just take a step and do something wildly out of character... like shave your head or something. I know it sounds odd but it's a step in the right direction to taking control of your life and making decisions without a care for what people think.

I was personally on my way to the grave due to drugs and alcohol, and just hanging out with the wrong type of people. I ended up in hospital and at my lowest point. I was in a frame of mind where I thought if I stay here I'm going to die. I decided to leave and work abroad. You don't need any money, they pay your travel there, they pay your accomodation, they pay your food, and they give you extra money on top to spend on what you like. You will meet 100's of new people and your past can stay quiet as you decide to make a fresh start and move forward.

Anxiety is something that made this change very hard for me, as I was panicking a lot. But the power of wanting to live and do something positive pushed me on. I ended up abroad for around 6 years and when I came back I was finally in control and sorted my life out.

If you have reached the suicide path then you are the most free you will ever be, instead of chosing to die you can now choose to cut out those aspects of your life that you don't want to put up with anymore, your parents hate you? well cut the out, better than being dead.... this approach works with lots of things.

It's your life. You are the one who has to live it the way you want to. Time to stop letting people live it for you and treat it like shit.

Feel free to message me,

Daf

[Daisy Sue]

I think Dafy talks a lot of sense. If you think of this phase of your life as rock bottom, and resolve to not go any further down, then the only way is up.. and even those people who have supportive family & friends around them have to do the hard work climbing back up themselves - no-one does it for you.

In one way you're 'only 22', but in another you're very wise and you've come on a long learning journey. You know how not to treat people, you know how isolated other people can make you feel, and you can put all this to good use and make a very worthy life for yourself, one you can feel proud of.

Families are weird things.. often they have the ultimate bandwagon of anybody - people will jump to the same opinions just because they're hearing something from someone else, and don't stop to value or consider the person being shunned.

I'd say take a leaf out of Dafy's book and go for it. :)

[theharvestmouse]

Dafy has good advice, it might be what you need but you have not mentioned what kind of anxiety you are struggling with which has a massive bearing on being able to do something like go abroad. You have to remember that you don't leave your anxiety behind, while a complete change could lessen the anxiety and change your life that's not to say that you will go somewhere and face the same problems with anxiety, but obviously you would leave your family troubles behind.

I empathise with you as I have tried staying positive for years now and know how hard it is when things keep making you feel like rock bottom. I'm back there myself.