Didn't Really Think That PTSD Could Break Us Up

[looking4answers]

When we were first diagnosed with PTSD,I was shocked because I knew I was a little down because of our move from New Orleans but didn't know it affected me that much or her.I started reading about it and said ...nah this isn't us..It also said that it caused frequent family breakups and divorces and I said noway..It could never do that to us...Well Its made its mark on us and reared its ugly head.I have been suffering with pulsatile tinnitus that may or may not be anything bad but also found out that i had a murmur that I didn't know about .I have continually worked on finding out more and posting here almost daily about other symptoms which are more anxiety related and depression than anything but now I found out something that hurts and makes me feel like I don't care about whats wrong with me and almost ready to ignore going to the doctor on weds to find out.Let it kill me or let the murmur be something bad .I have lost it totally and have prayed all day to just let the creator let me join the universe.I am so sad..Its enough to have your life your home and your children away from you but to have a mate that you dedicated your life to and helped through so many hard times turn her back on you and tell you that it bothered her with me worrying all the time and to get angry and offensive with me.I was so shocked..I have nursed her through every tragity that you could ever have and been by her side no matter what..Now we are seems to be a million miles from no where or no one and she says these things to me..My mind cannot comprehend it.I just wanted to let others know that PTSD can in fact cause breakups.I cannot live this way anymore,being the strength of the family then when I need someone to talk to im treated that way .I just cannot..I don't know what to do about it..but im so sad I just don't care anymore..It feels like the end for me..But I cannot let go ,but see no future with anyone ...and the bad thing is ..it was right in front of me the whole time in print what could happen..So please if you are suffering with PTSD please be careful not to let the same thing happen to you..

[myself]

Hi there
just to say I an so sorry you are ghoing through this.

Yes I know it can cause rifts to appear in strong relationships. I know that you and your wife have been through so much and sympathise with you strongly.
The ptsd placed even my strong relationship in a very bad position, I found discusing this with the therapist helped, and he also explained to my wife how hard it is, as with ptsd we ourselves change, and its not always easy for those around us, especially if they are going through troubled times to.
Have a look at this web site which has a page for "info for families of sufferers, maybe reading this with your wife will help you.

http://www.ptsduk.co.uk/index.html

As for the tinitis, I have had it for 39 years, gets bad at times, especially agravated by the ptsd trauma. There are ways to help on this, pm me if I can give you some advice on ways to ease the problem.

I wish you well my friend
muself

[yorkylover]

I would just like to say how sorry i am that your going through such a bad time at the moment,and I hope things get better for you soon.
take care

Ellen XX

[ade]

so sorry for how you are feeling,there is a lot that i recognise as a sufferer of ptsd.i just hope that you can get some peace for your obviously traumatised soul,take real care and hang on in there honey
lots of love ade xx

[Antipodes]

Hi lookingforanswers,

I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I can only empathise and send {{{{{{warm hugs}}}}}

You are not alone. PTSD is hard on relationships. My wife has always been supportive but in her case she became worn out (Compassion Fatigue / Caregiver Fatigue). We were separated last year for eight months. It was hard for both of us. We both care about eachother and always have. She came back earlier this year and we both tried a little harder to not worry or become anxious. So far so good. Things are not as good as they were pre-PTSD onset but we are mates.

I hope the PTSD becomes manageably settled in as soon a duration as practicable.

Thinking of you

Antipodes

[Roxanne Harris]

I am so sorry to hear your story, I am thankful that you posted, it gives me another insight into how hard this can be for a couple, I am single, had 2 unsuccessful tries at relationships, it is hard for the other person to cope, thinking about a relationship in the future, I realise this is gonna be hard work, and a partner has to be able to cope with everything that happens to a person suffering PTSD. I wish you well, and my heart goes out to you. Please don't give up, keep fighting for yourself.

Roxie

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

I have been following your story and wondered if perhaps it might help if you sell the land you own and move back to New Orleans which you understandbly seem to miss so much? You would not get rid of the PTSD but I think you would not be so unhappy. I do realize it is still a mess there but there is rebuilding going on.

I so feel for what you have been through and are going through. I would hope before you let your long marriage end you would get marriage counseling to see if that helps.

I also have tinnitus and the only thing I have found that has aggravated mine is alcohol so if you ever indulge see if that makes it worse, it might or might not.

Do not give up on yourself, her or you two together, that is what has kept ya'll a couple thus far and will continue to do so. Good luck and I wish you well.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[Antipodes]

Hi Roxie

Thanks for your kind words.

I meant to mention there is a wealth of information specifically PTSD and Relationships. I downloaded several of these and my wife appreciated them at the time. A google search Relationships+PTSD should get some useful links to browse.

sincerely

Antipodes

[Lynnann]

Antipodes and looking 4 answers,

I am so sorry your relationships are so difficult at the moment. I hope my relationship will withstand the trials ahead of us. I can understand how difficult it must be to be the one who has to be supportive. I hope that both of you can attend some type of couples therapy and maybe repair some of the damage this disorder has caused.

Hugs to you both

Lynnann

[dave11282]

l4a

you are not alone.

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/

this website has great entire seminars you can download on PTSD.

all I can say is that 20+yrs after my life threatening experience i now know it changed me forever and reduced my coping abilities for life in general. Chronic depression, pain, hypervigillence, and anger have rippled through every part of my life since the event.

I now use CBT and all the other mentioned techniques on this forum, plus I have to say, consume absolutley no alcohol at all. I realise for me alcohol amplifies all my symptoms.

Just keep reading, and self educating, learning new skills, that way you will more able to cope by yourself

Dave

[Roxanne Harris]

Thank you Antipodes, I have found the info very helpful, I sincerely hope that you achieve a level of wellness that makes it easier to cope with...wishing you all the best in your efforts!!

"Never give up and never give in".

Roxie