Need some advice..

[little.miss.worry]

Hello :)

Well next year, I'm planning on going to University. I haven't yet made up my mind whether i'm staying in my own city or moving elsewhere. Tonight, it's really gotten to me and i'm almost adamant to stay where I am. Because I feel as though my anxiety will take a toll on me if I move. For some reason, my anxiety tends to get pretty bad when i'm away from home and also the whole idea of moving is daunting. I've been away from home by myself before like going to hotels in different cities but that's only been for a week tops and my anxiety hasn't been too bad if i'm with someone but I do get the odd symptom. It's when i'm on my own mainly that I worry and my anxiety hits the roof. Because sometimes even i'm, scared of my own thoughts and right now I feel as if I won't cope if I move away and I just have this dread and fear as to what to do.

I really want to do well in life. But I often feel as though my anxiety is stopping me from doing this. I'm really unsure as to what to do. Because I really don't want to go and come back after a week purely because I can't cope.

So any help..would be appreciated. Because I'm really confused as to what to do. There is a long time from now until September. My anxiety could possibly go one way. Worse, or better. If you was in my position, what would you do exactly?

[debs71]

Hi Emily-Kate,

I understand completely why you are unsure, and can sympathise greatly. Anxiety has such a grip that we doubt and fear every move we make, especially if it means going away from home, which I think for most anxiety sufferers is their comfort zone (it is mine anyway!)

I know it is a frightening thought to move away, but my instant reaction would be to say do it if you can. Every time we deny ourselves something, or say we can't do it because we MAY (and may is the key word) feel anxious when we are there, we give the anxiety control and power. The more we do it, the less inclined we are to go or do anything that takes us out of our comfort zone, and the world can get a lot, lot smaller and more confined, as anxiety controls us.

I do totally understand how you feel though. I cancelled a holiday last month as my anxiety was just peaking, I felt physically unwell and just petrified at the thought of getting on a plane and leaving home. I was really angry with myself for doing it, but at the same time I just couldn't do it at that time, so I really do empathise with how you feel.

I will say this too though. I know you are nervous about being alone and potentially away from home for extended periods with Uni, but if there is anywhere you will be LESS alone it is at University. You are almost certain to meet tons of new people (although I know that may be scary in itself) and you will be so occupied both with work and social life that you may well benefit from this, as the anxiety will be pushed on to the back burner. I am not sure if you also suffer with social anxiety, but I know with my GAD I find my anxiety is a lot better when I am amongst others and busy.

I think it is hard though. Anticipation plays a HUGE part in creating fear with anxiety, and it is all of the 'what if's?' that cause us to limit ourselves and put us off doing something more challenging like your dilemma about Uni location. I think you are anticipating your anxiety heightening, but you don't really know that will happen as a fact. It may well be you will be totally surprised and love it. I had the best time of my life at Uni (mind you, it was before my mental health probs started) but I was so, so shy, and I was scared to death initially, but after a week or two, I settled in and loved it.

I am not sure what to advise really hun, as the decision is entirely yours as to whether you feel you can move further from home or would prefer to stay closer. Regardless of location, I would strongly recommend Uni as an excellent place to open up your world and experiences a little more.

All the best and hugs to you.x:hugs:

[little.miss.worry]

Thanks for the reply!

Yeah exactly, my home is my comfort zone too.. I feel safe when i'm at home :)

I agree with everything you're saying and you've made me feel alot better about the whole situation :) I think I just need to calm down and not fret about these things yet because it is a year away. I know if I doubt myself and not do what I want, i'll really regret it. And it'll hurt not knowing what could have been.

Thank you so much for your help. It's really appreciated! :D

[debs71]

Hi Hun,

No problem at all.

I hope you are doing ok tonight....Debs.x:hugs:

[little.miss.worry]

I'm not as bad thank you :) but i'm in one of them moods where i'm just really down.. but I will be okay ^_^

[SarahH]

Ok so I am going to totally contradict others.......................if there is a Uni close to home then why not go to that one. It will save you money and you can still socialise with Uni friends but still come home at the end of the night.....that's what I did and still had a fantastic Uni experience and less debt than the rest on my course.......

...............just a thought:)

[Sparkle1984]

Ok so I am going to totally contradict others.......................if there is a Uni close to home then why not go to that one. It will save you money and you can still socialise with Uni friends but still come home at the end of the night.....that's what I did and still had a fantastic Uni experience and less debt than the rest on my course.......

...............just a thought:)

Yes that's what I did. If there is a university near you which offers the course you want and it's a decent quality, you may as well go there.:)